Part 26 (1/2)
”My dear, make a note of this and let us suggest it at the next National Council,” added Mr. Remington.
”O Chief!” said Elizabeth, standing, ”I am not a member of your Band but I can add a mite to the general reports. I can say that j.a.pan exports to the United States every year over $1,500,000. worth of Battenburg and Renaissance work-doilies, covers, and scarfs. Thousands of j.a.panese girls do this work at home during their spare hours.”
”How!” cried the girls as their visitor finished her report.
”Have we anyone else to contribute?” asked the Chief.
Fred then stood up and cleared his throat-a habit he had when he felt the least bit embarra.s.sed.
”I might add that Instructors from the Agricultural College of the United States gave the Indians new insight into modern farming methods.
”The first course for Indian Farmers in Wisconsin was held at Kashena, on the Menominee Reservation, and was attended by scores of Tribes-men.”
”O Chief, I can tell you something, too,” cried Billy, as his big brother sat down. ”A treaty between Great Britain and the United States for the protection of insectivorous birds on both sides of the Canadian border was negotiated in 1916.”
”Who hasn't read a paper?” asked Zan, looking around.
”You haven't!” retorted Jane.
”I know, but I am reserving mine for the last as it is so superlative I knew the rest of you would feel too discouraged after hearing mine to read what you had written, so that the meeting would lose many reports,”
explained Zan, mysteriously.
”Then I make a motion that the Chief be asked to make that boast good!”
cried Elizabeth.
Amid laughter, the motion was loudly seconded and carried, and Zan waited for the uproar to quiet down before she said:
”You won't feel so jubilant when you hear the lesson I have ready for you who persist in a great waste of physical energy. My article was culled from the pages of 'The Guide to Nature' which is a good magazine for Woodcrafters published by the Aga.s.siz a.s.sociation. They found this article in one of our leading magazines and considered it interesting enough to reprint.”
Then Zan read a paper she had written in her own amusing style, the main points of which she had read in the periodical mentioned.
”In June, 1916, an unusual but tremendously significant fiftieth anniversary of the chewing gum was ushered in-but not with laurels or paeans of praise did this gummy little product celebrate. In fact, very few of its enthusiastic masticators knew a thing of this birthday, until it was mentioned in the papers.
”Just think of it! Fifty years of chewing on something that never satisfies but always attracts more and more-like a nightmare where money lies scattered everywhere but vanishes when an eager hand tries to grasp it.
”We have had all kinds of trouble with Mexico in recent times, but never, no matter what we do or what they do, can the public of the United States ever properly reward Mexico for introducing the greatest boon known to base-ball fans, movie fanatics, and commuters-to say nothing of the miscellany and Woodcraft folks!
”It was on a certain occasion when General Santa Anna of Mexico was calling on a friend at Snug Harbour, Staten Island, that Thomas Adams also called upon the same friend. While the three talked the General took a chunk of something resembling a solid bit of over-shoe from his pocket and cut off a small piece. He placed it in his mouth and began chewing. Then he offered some to his companions.
”Mr. Adams looked it over dubiously and said: 'Will you please tell me where you found it?'
”Then the General explained that it was the gum of the zapote tree, better known as 'chicle.' Mr. Adams was a brave man, so he experimented.
As he chewed he evolved a brilliant idea and he asked the General for a goodly sized piece of the gum. He took it home to see if it could not be vulcanized for a patented rubber to be used as a basis of artificial teeth.
”But the tests proved hopeless for false teeth, as the chicle was too conscientious to lend itself to any falsity, knowing well that it was meant for a far greater blessing than to hold porcelain molars in place.
It felt in its soul that it could entertain a great and mighty nation in its elasticity _between_ the jaws but never to become a part of a jaw.
”So in a huff, the chemist who was experimenting for Mr. Adams got up and snapped out: 'The stuff isn't worth a darn for anything but just chewing!'