Part 35 (1/2)
Sheridan leaned over Gurney and shouted, in a voice that cracked and broke, piping into falsetto: ”He thinks of bein' a PLUMBER! He wants to be a PLUMBER! He told me he couldn't THINK if he went into business--he wants to be a plumber so he can THINK!”
He fell back a step, wiping his forhead with the back of his left hand.
”There! That's my son! That's the only son I got now! That's my chance to live,” he cried, with a bitterness that seemed to leave ashes in his throat. ”That's my one chance to live--that thing you see in the doorway yonder!”
Dr. Gurney thoughtfully regarded the bandage strip he had been winding, and tossed it into the open bag. ”What's the matter with giving Bibbs a chance to live?” he said, coolly. ”I would if I were you. You've had TWO that went into business.”
Sheridan's mouth moved grotesquely before he could speak. ”Joe Gurney,”
he said, when he could command himself so far, ”are you accusin' me of the responsibility for the death of my son James?”
”I accuse you of nothing,” said the doctor. ”But just once I'd like to have it out with you on the question of Bibbs--and while he's here, too.” He got up, walked to the fire, and stood warming his hands behind his back and smiling. ”Look here, old fellow, let's be reasonable,” he said. ”You were bound Bibbs should go to the shop again, and I gave you and him, both, to understand pretty plainly that if he went it was at the risk of his life. Well, what did he do? He said he wanted to go. And he did go, and he's made good there. Now, see: Isn't that enough? Can't you let him off now? He wants to write, and how do you know that he couldn't do it if you gave him a chance? How do you know he hasn't some message--something to say that might make the world just a little bit happier or wiser? He MIGHT--in time--it's a possibility not to be denied. Now he can't deliver any message if he goes down there with you, and he won't HAVE any to deliver. I don't say going down with you is likely to injure his health, as I thought the shop would, and as the shop did, the first time. I'm not speaking as doctor now, anyhow. But I tell you one thing I know: if you take him down there you'll kill something that I feel is in him, and it's finer, I think, than his physical body, and you'll kill it deader than a door-nail! And so why not let it live? You've about come to the end of your string, old fellow. Why not stop this perpetual devilish fighting and give Bibbs his chance?”
Sheridan stood looking at him fixedly. ”What 'fighting?'”
”Yours--with nature.” Gurney sustained the daunting gaze of his fierce antagonist equably. ”You don't seem to understand that you've been struggling against actual law.”
”What law?”
”Natural law,” said Gurney. ”What do you think beat you with Edith? Did Edith, herself, beat you? Didn't she obey without question something powerful that was against you? EDITH wasn't against you, and you weren't against HER, but you set yourself against the power that had her in its grip, and it shot out a spurt of flame--and won in a walk! What's taken Roscoe from you? Timbers bear just so much strain, old man; but YOU wanted to send the load across the broken bridge, and you thought you could bully or coax the cracked thing into standing. Well, you couldn't!
Now here's Bibbs. There are thousands of men fit for the life you want him to lead--and so is he. It wouldn't take half of Bibbs's brains to be twice as good a business man as Jim and Roscoe put together.”
”WHAT!” Sheridan goggled at him like a zany.
”Your son Bibbs,” said the doctor, composedly, ”Bibbs Sheridan has the kind and quant.i.ty of 'gray matter' that will make him a success in anything--if he ever wakes up! Personally I should prefer him to remain asleep. I like him that way. But the thousands of men fit for the life you want him to lead aren't fit to do much with the life he OUGHT to lead. Blindly, he's been fighting for the chance to lead it--he's obeying something that begs to stay alive within him; and, blindly, he knows you'll crush it out. You've set your will to do it. Let me tell you something more. You don't know what you've become since Jim's going thwarted you--and that's what was uppermost, a bafflement stronger than your normal grief. You're half mad with a consuming fury against the very self of the law--for it was the very self of the law that took Jim from you. That was a law concerning the cohesion of molecules. The very self of the law took Roscoe from you and gave Edith the certainty of beating you; and the very self of the law makes Bibbs deny you to-night.
The LAW beats you. Haven't you been whipped enough? But you want to whip the law--you've set yourself against it, to bend it to your own ends, to wield it and twist it--”
The voice broke from Sheridan's heaving chest in a shout. ”Yes! And by G.o.d, I will!”
”So Ajax defied the lightning,” said Gurney.
”I've heard that dam'-fool story, too,” Sheridan retorted, fiercely.
”That's for chuldern and n.i.g.g.e.rs. It ain't twentieth century, let me tell you! 'Defied the lightning,' did he, the jacka.s.s! If he'd been half a man he'd 'a' got away with it. WE don't go showin' off defyin' the lightning--we hitch it up and make it work for us like a black-steer! A man nowadays would just as soon think o' defyin' a wood-shed!”
”Well, what about Bibbs?” said Gurney. ”Will you be a really big man now and--”
”Gurney, you know a lot about bigness!” Sheridan began to walk to and fro again, and the doctor returned gloomily to his chair. He had shot his bolt the moment he judged its chance to strike center was best, but the target seemed unaware of the marksman.
”I'm tryin' to make a big man out o' that poor truck yonder,” Sheridan went on, ”and you step in, beggin' me to let him be Lord knows what--I don't! I suppose you figure it out that now I got a SON-IN-LAW, I mightn't need a son! Yes, I got a son-in-law now--a spender!”
”Oh, put your hand back!” said Gurney, wearily.
There was a bronze inkstand upon the table. Sheridan put his right hand in the sling, but with his left he swept the inkstand from the table and half-way across the room--a comet with a destroying black tail. Mrs.
Sheridan shrieked and sprang toward it.
”Let it lay!” he shouted, fiercely. ”Let it lay!” And, weeping, she obeyed. ”Yes, sir,” he went on, in a voice the more ominous for the sudden hush he put upon it. ”I got a spender for a son-in-law! It's wonderful where property goes, sometimes. There was ole man Tracy--you remember him, Doc--J. R. Tracy, solid banker. He went into the bank as messenger, seventeen years old; he was president at forty-three, and he built that bank with his life for forty years more. He was down there from nine in the morning until four in the afternoon the day before he died--over eighty! Gilt edge, that bank? It was diamond edge! He used to eat a bag o' peanuts and an apple for lunch; but he wasn't stingy--he was just livin' in his business. He didn't care for pie or automobiles--he had his bank. It was an inst.i.tution, and it come pretty near bein' the beatin' heart o' this town in its time. Well, that ole man used to pa.s.s one o' these here turned-up-nose and turned-up-pants cigarette boys on the streets. Never spoke to him, Tracy didn't. Speak to him? G.o.d! he wouldn't 'a' coughed on him! He wouldn't 'a' let him clean the cuspidors at the bank! Why, if he'd 'a' just seen him standin'
in FRONT the bank he'd 'a' had him run off the street. And yet all Tracy was doin' every day of his life was workin' for that cigarette boy!
Tracy thought it was for the bank; he thought he was givin' his life and his life-blood and the blood of his brain for the bank, but he wasn't.
It was every bit--from the time he went in at seventeen till he died in harness at eighty-three--it was every last lick of it just slavin' for that turned-up-nose, turned-up-pants cigarette boy. AND TRACY DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HIS NAME! He died, not ever havin' heard it, though he chased him off the front steps of his house once. The day after Tracy died his old-maid daughter married the cigarette--and there AIN'T any Tracy bank any more! And now”--his voice rose again--”and now I got a cigarette son-in-law!”