Part 17 (1/2)

(_To be Continued_)

NORTH AMERICAN REVIEW

No DCXII

APRIL 5, 1907

CHAPTERS FROM MY AUTOBIOGRAPHY--XV

BY MARK TWAIN

[_Dictated October 8, 1906_]

_Froraphy of Me_

Papa says that if the collera comes here he will take Sour Mash to the mountains

[Sidenote: (1885)]

This re a month, in which Jean, General Grant, the sculptor Gerhardt, Mrs Candace Wheeler, Miss Dora Wheeler, Mr Frank Stockton, Mrs Mary Mapes Dodge, and theof General Custer appear and drift in procession across the page, then vanish forever froraphy; then Susy drops this remark in the wake of the vanished procession:

Sour Mash is a constant source of anxiety, care, and pleasure to papa

I did, in truth, think a great deal of that old tortoise-shell harlot; but I haven't a doubt that in order to ionies of solicitude which I didn't honestly feel Sour Mash never gave me any real anxiety; she was always able to take care of herself, and she was ostentatiously vain of the fact; vain of it to a degree which often made me ashamed of her, much as I esteemed her

Many persons would like to have the society of cats during the summer vacation in the country, but they deny themselves this pleasure because they think theywhen they return to the city, where they would be a trouble and an encumbrance, or leave them in the country, houseless and hoenuity, no invention, no wisdom; or it would occur to them to do as I do: rent cats by the ood homes at the end of it Early last May I rented a kitten of a far three They have been good company for about five rown much, and to all intents and purposes are still kittens, and as full of ro This is remarkable I am an expert in cats, but I have not seen a kitten keep its kittenhood nearly so long before

These are beautiful creatures--these triplets Two of them wear the blackest and shi+niest and thickest of sealskin vestments all over their bodies except the lower half of their faces and the terminations of their paws The black masks reach down below the eyes, therefore when the eyes are closed they are not visible; the rest of the face, and the gloves and stockings, are snohite These s are just the same on both cats--so exactly the same that when you call one the other is likely to answer, because they cannot tell each other apart Since the cats are precisely alike, and can't be told apart by any of us, they do not need two names, so they have but one between theray one Ashes I believe I have never seen such intelligent cats as these before They are full of the nicest discriminations When I read German aloud they weep; you can see the tears run down It shohat pathos there is in the Gerue I had not noticed before that all German is pathetic, no matter what the subject is nor how it is treated It was these hue to me I have tried all kinds of Gery, market reports; and the result has always been the same--the cats sob, and let the tears run dohich shows that all Gerue to me, and the pronunciation is difficult, and comes out of me encumbered with a Missouri accent; but the cats like it, and when I e they sit in a row and put up their paws, palive thanks Hardly any cats are affected by o reverently away, showing how deeply they feel it Sour Mash never cared for these things

She had many noble qualities, but at bottoy and the arts

It is a pity to say it, but these cats are not above the grade of huns that they are not sincere in their exhibitions of emotion, but exhibit them merely to show off and attract attention--conduct which is distinctly huh to conceal their desire to show off, but the grown hu does What is ambition? It is only the desire to be conspicuous The desire for fame is only the desire to be continuously conspicuous and attract attention and be talked about

These cats are like huan to work his fictitious emotions, and show off, the other members of the firm followed suit, in order to be in the fashi+on That is the ith hus; they are afraid to be outside; whatever the fashi+on happens to be, they conform to it, whether it be a pleasant fashi+on or the reverse, they lacking the courage to ignore it and go their oay

All hus would like to dress in loose and coaro, when a king, or some other influential ass, introduced sons into e, and by consequence we are in that odious captivity to-day, and are likely to re time to come

Fortunately the woraces and their beauty still have the enhancing help of delicate fabrics and varied and beautiful colors Their clothing ht to the eye and the spirit, a Garden of Eden for charm and color The men, clothed in dismal black, are scattered here and there and everywhere over the Garden, like so e the effect, but cannot annihilate it

In summer we poor creatures have a respite, and arree shapely; but in the winter--the so winter, the cheerless winter, hite clothes and bright colors are especially needed to brighten our spirits and lift theo about in dreary black, eachit because the others do it, and not because he wants to They are really no sincerer than Sackcloth and Ashes At bottom the Sackcloths do not care to exhibit their e before them, they only do it because Ashes started it

I would like to dress in a loose and flowing costume made all of silks and velvets, resplendent with all the stunning dyes of the rainbow, and so would every sane man I have ever known; but none of us dares to venture it There is such a thing as carrying conspicuousness to the point of discomfort; and if I should appear on Fifth Avenue on a Sunday , at church-time, clothed as I would like to be clothed, the churches would be vacant, and I should have all the congregations tagging after me, to look, and secretly envy, and publicly scoff It is the way hu their real feelings shut up inside, and publicly exploiting their fictitious ones

Next after fine colors, I like plain white One of my sorrohen the summer ends, is that I must put off my cheery and comfortable white clothes and enter for the winter into the depressing captivity of the shapeless and degrading black ones It iscold up here in the New Ha hbors are few, and it is only of crowds that I aht, to see hoould feel to shock a croith these unseasonable clothes, and also to see how long it ht take the crowd to reconcile itself to theed On a store, clothed like a ghost, and looking as conspicuously, all solitary and alone on that platforratification, that it took the house less than ten ive its attention to the tidings I had brought