Part 17 (1/2)
”When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies, and the Lord thy G.o.d hath delivered them into thine hands, and thou hast taken them captives;
”And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldst have her to be thy wife;
”Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house; and she shall shave her head, and pare her nails.”--Deut. xxi, 10, 11, 12.
(That is self-defense, I suppose!)
I need not go further in bible quotations to show that woman, throughout the old testament, is a degraded being, having no rights which her husband, father, brother, or uncle is bound to respect.
Still, that is bible doctrine, and that bible is the word of a just and omniscient G.o.d!
Does the bible teach the existence of devils? Of course it does. Yes, it teaches not only the existence of a good being, but a bad being.
This good being has to have a home; that home was heaven. This bad being had to have a home; and that home was h.e.l.l. This h.e.l.l is supposed to be nearer to earth than I would care to have it, and to be peopled with spirits, spooks, hobgoblins, and all the fiery shapes with which the imagination of ignorance and fear could people that horrible place; and the bible teaches the existence of h.e.l.l and this big devil and all these little devils. The bible teaches the doctrine of witchcraft and makes us believe that there are sorcerers and witches, and that the dead could be raised by the power of sorcery. Does anybody believe it now?
”Then said Saul unto his servants, seek me a woman that hath a familiar spirit, that I may go to her and inquire of her. And his servants said to him, Behold, there is a woman that hath a familiar spirit at Endor.”
In another place he declares that witchcraft is an abomination unto the Lord. He wants no rivals in this business. Now what does the new testament teach:
”Then was Jesus lead up of the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil.
”And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, he was afterward a-hungered.
”And when the tempter came to him, he said if thou be the Son of G.o.d, command these stones to be made bread.
”But He answered and said it is written, man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of G.o.d.
”Then the devil taketh him up into the holy city and setteth him on a pinnacle of the temple;
”And saith unto him. If thou be the Son of G.o.d, cast thyself down, for it is written, He shall give His angels charge concerning thee; and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone.
”Jesus said unto him, it is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord, thy G.o.d, and Him only shalt thou serve.”--Matt. iv, 1-7.
(Is it possible that anyone can believe that the devil absolutely took G.o.d Almighty, and put him upon the pinnacle of the temple, and endeavored to persuade him to jump down? Is it possible?)
”Again, the devil taketh him into an exceedingly high mountain, and showeth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them;
”And saith unto him, All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and wors.h.i.+p me.
”Then saith Jesus unto him, Get thee hence, Satan, for it is written, Thou shalt wors.h.i.+p the Lord thy G.o.d, and him only shalt thou serve.”--Matthew iv, 8-11.
(Now only the devil must have known at that time that He was G.o.d, and G.o.d at that time must have known that the other was the devil, who had the impudence to promise G.o.d a world in which he did not have a tax-t.i.tle to an inch of land.)
Now, what of the Sabbath--the Lord's day? Why is Sunday the Lord's day? If Sunday alone is the Lord's day, whose day is Monday, Tuesday, Friday, etc.? No matter! The idea, that G.o.d hates to hear your children laugh on Sunday! On Sunday let your children play games. I see a poor man who hasn't money enough to go to a big church, and he has too much independence to go to the little church which the big church built for charity. If he enters the portals of the big church with poor clothes on, the usher approaches him with a severe face, and ”Brother, I'm sorry, but only high-toned servants of the living G.o.d congregate in this church for wors.h.i.+p, and with that seedy suit on they cannot admit you. All the seats in this magnificent edifice are owned and represented by 'solid' men, by men of capital. We pay our pastor $5,000 a year--the annual eight weeks vacation thrown in--and it would not be profitable for us to seriously encourage the attendance of so insignificant a person as yourself. Just around the corner there is a little cheap church with a little cheap pastor, where they can dish up h.e.l.l to you in an approved style--in a style more suitable to your needs and condition; and the dish will not be as expensive to you, either!”
If I had chanced to be that poor man in the seedy garments, and had been endeavoring to serve my Maker for even half a century, I would have felt like muttering audibly, ”You go to h.e.l.l!” (I am not much given to profanity, but when I am sorely aggravated and vexed in spirit, I declare to you that it is such a relief to me, such a solace to my troubled soul, and gives me such heavenly peace, to now and then allow a word or phrase to escape my lips which can serve the no other earthly purpose, seemingly, than to render emphatic my otherwise mildly expressed ideas. I make this confession parenthetically, and in a whisper, my friends, trusting you will not allow it to go further.)
Now, I tell you, if you don't want to go to church, go to the woods and take your wife and children and a lunch with you, and sit down upon the old log and let the children gather flowers, and hear the leaves whispering poems like memories of long ago! and when the sun is about going down, kissing the summits of the distant hills, go home with your hearts filled with throbs of joy and gladness, and the cheeks of your little ones covered with the rose-blushes of health! There is more recreation and solid enjoyment in that than putting on your Sunday clothes and going to a ca.n.a.l-boat with a steeple on top of it and listening to a man tell you that your chances are about ninety-nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine to one for being eternally d.a.m.ned!
Oh, strike with a hand of fire, weird musician, thy harp, strung with Apollo's golden hair! Fill the vast cathedral aisles with symphonies sweet and dim, deft toucher of the organ's keys! Blow, bugler, blow, until thy silver notes do touch and kiss the moonlit waves, and charm the lovers wandering mid the vine-clad hills!--but know your sweetest strains are but discord compared with childhood's happy laugh--the laugh that fills the eyes with light and every heart with joy! O, rippling river of laughter; thou art the blessed boundary line between beasts and men, and every wayward wave of thine doth drown some fretful fiend of care. O, Laughter, rose-lipped daughter of joy, there are dimples enough in thy cheek to catch and hold and glorify all the tears of grief!
Do not make slaves of your children on Sunday. Don't place them in long, straight rows, like fence-posts, and ”s.h.!.+ children, it's Sunday!”
when by chance you hear a sound or rustle. Let winsome Johnny have light and air, and let him grow beautiful; let him laugh until his little sides ache, if he feels like it; let him pinch the cat's tail until the house is in an uproar with his yells--let him do anything that will make him happy. When I was a little boy, children went to bed when they were not sleepy, and always got up when they were? I would like to see that changed--we may see it some day. It is really easier to wake a child with a kiss than a blow; with kind words than with harshness and a curse. Another thing: let the children eat what they want to. Let them commence at whichever end of the dinner they please. They know what they want much better than you do. Nature knows perfectly well what she is about, and if you go a-fooling with her you may get into trouble. The crime charged to me is this: I insist that the bible is not the word of G.o.d; that we should not whip our children; that we should treat our wives as loving equals; that G.o.d never upheld polygamy and slavery; deny that G.o.d ever commanded his generals to slaughter innocent babes and tear and rip open women with the sword of war; that G.o.d ever turned Lot's wife into a pillar of salt (although she might have deserved that fate); that G.o.d ever made a woman out of a man's, or any other animal's rib! And I emphatically deny that G.o.d ever signed or sealed a commission appointing his satanic majesty governor-general over an extensive territory popularly styled h.e.l.l, with absolute power to torture, burn, maim, boil, or roast at his pleasure the victims of his master's displeasure! I deny these things, and for that I am a.s.sailed by the clergy throughout the United States.
Now, you have read the bible romance of the fall of Adam? Yes, well, you know that nearly or quite all the religions of this world account for the existence of evil by such a story as that! Adam, the miserable coward, informed G.o.d that his wife was at the bottom of the whole business! ”She did tempt me and I did eat!” And then commenced a row, and we have been engaged in it ever since! You know what happened to Adam and his wife for her transgressions?
In another account of what is said to have been the same transaction--which is the most sensible account of the two--the Supreme Brahma concluded, as he had a little leisure, that he would make a world, and a man and woman. He made the world, the man, and then the woman, and then placed the pair on the Island of Ceylon. (Bear in mind, there were no ribs used in this affair.) This island is said to be the most beautiful that the mind of man can conceive of. Such birds you never saw, such songs you never heard! and then such flowers, such verdure! The branches of the trees were so arranged that when the winds swept through, there floated out from every tree melodious strains of music from a thousand! Aeolian harps! After Brahma put them there, he said: ”Let them have a period of courts.h.i.+p, for it is my desire and will that true love should forever precede marriage.” And with the nightingale singing, and the stars twinkling, and the little brooklets murmuring, and the flowers blooming, and the gentle breezes fanning their brows, they courted, and loved! What a sweet courts.h.i.+p.