Part 10 (1/2)

”No,” Gavin said firmly. ”The girl was conceived while I was married to Talisha. I was never unfaithful. Never.” To even think about being unfaithful to his first wife made his stomach turn.

”What if it's true? Oh, Gavin, this is terrible.”

Gavin hung his head. ”I know. I still got to acknowledge her as mine.”

Feanna gasped, her eyes open wide. ”And give her a claim to the throne? What about our baby, Gavin?” She put her hand on her growing belly. ”He's your legitimate son.”

”I'm not talking about naming this girl as my heiress, only acknowledging her as a Kins.h.i.+eld.” He looked pleadingly into her eyes. ”And as my daughter. To protect Rogan's family.”

Feanna pulled her hand out of his. ”To protect the reputation of a dead man, what will that do to your own? You would sacrifice your honor for his? He's the one who stepped out on his wife, not you. What does that do to Talisha's name? You would dishonor her too?”

”No, but what am I supposed to do? Destroy my nephews' memory o'their father as an honorable man? And Liera's? He was a good man, and he provided for all his children. He died because o'me, and so it's up to me to continue providing for them. If that means I got to acknowledge his b.a.s.t.a.r.d as mine, then that's what I got to do.”

Feanna gripped his forearm. ”But Gavin, you don't have to do that. You can provide for her the same way Rogan did secretly. Send her money, ensure she has enough to eat, clothes to wear, and a roof over her head. That's all you owe her, and no more.”

”Doesn't she deserve to know her family or who her father was? Doesn't she deserve the kind o'life his sons have now?”

”That's not what I'm saying, and you know it. I'm begging you not to destroy our family to protect Rogan. It was his mistake, not yours.”

”I understand, but Rogan's dead and beyond my protection. I'm trying to protect his widow and the three boys he left behind.”

Feanna threw up her hands dramatically and stood. Gavin stood too. ”Do whatever you think is best. Obviously, I'm not going to change your mind.” She started towards the door, and when Gavin reached for her and begged her to wait, she jerked her arm away and stormed out.

His eldest nephew, twelve-year-old Jaesh, tall for his age like Gavin and Rogan had been, was standing outside the door with a startled expression, following Feanna with his gaze. He turned to offer Gavin a shallow smile as he approached.

Gavin exhaled his tension and smiled back. How much of that had his nephew heard? ”How now, Jaesh. You finished your lessons for today?”

Jaesh nodded. ”Can you spare a minute? I'm sure you're busy. I could come back later.”

”Never too busy for you.” Gavin sat back down. ”Take a seat.”

Jaesh sat in the chair Feanna had just vacated and fidgeted his hands. ”I wanted to ask you something. Mama said you have magic that lets you talk to people in times gone by.”

”Yeh. I call it back-traveling. I can travel to any day that's already happened as if it were a place. That's how I met King Arek.”

Jaesh leaned forward expectantly. ”Could you talk to my papa?”

Gavin should have antic.i.p.ated this, but he hadn't, and now he was left with an empty mind and a heavy tongue. He cleared his throat and rubbed his brow, trying to think of a way to let the boy down gently. ”It's possible,” he admitted, ”but there are certain things I can't tell him.”

”What kinds o'things? Could you tell him I miss him?” Jaesh's eyes moistened.

Gavin put a meaty paw on Jaesh's shoulder. ”I can't tell him anything that could change the future. If I told him you miss him, he would ask me why. From his point o'view, you're within shouting distance - he'd wonder why you missed him. If he figured out he'd be dead soon, he might be tempted to do something different.”

”But that would be good, right?”

”As much as I want to change the past, I can't.”

Jaesh's face fell. ”So you can't save him?”

Gavin shook his head sadly. ”If I could, I would've done it already. The magic doesn't work that way.”

The boy hung his head, and Gavin's heart sank. He missed his brother too. There was, of course, the matter of Keturah, and Gavin planned to question Rogan about her. ”I'll tell you what,” he said. ”If I get a chance to talk to Rogan, I'll remind him how much you love him.”

The boy looked up at him with an odd expression. ”I wonder... There was a time when he came to me while I was cutting duck feathers he sat down in front o'me looking as if he was going to cry, and said, 'I know, son.' He said he loved me too, no matter what.” He looked as though he wanted to say something else, but his face clouded, and in that moment he became more a child and less a boy on the edge of manhood.

Gavin stood and pulled him into an embrace. The boy's shoulders shook, his arms around Gavin's waist tightened, and his hands gripped Gavin's s.h.i.+rt. Gavin felt his own eyes burn with unshed tears. He'd wept for his murdered brother once, but he hadn't let himself cry again since. In the back of his mind, he knew he could visit Rogan anytime he wanted to. Jaesh, Asia, GJ and Liera didn't have that luxury. ”Listen, I'm leaving for Calsojourn tomorrow. I'll stop in Saliria and pay a visit to your papa. I'll do my best to let him know.”

Jaesh pulled back and wiped his face before letting Gavin see it. ”May I come with you?”

”I can't bring you with me back-traveling, if that's what you're thinking,” he said. ”Besides, I got to take a criminal with me, so it's best if you stay here.”

”I won't get in the way. Please, Uncle Gavin. Life is dull here. There's only so much learning a boy can do in a week.”

Gavin chuckled and squeezed Jaesh's shoulder. ”Let me think on it, but don't get your hopes up. My answer'll probably still be no. Feanna's going to Ambryce tomorrow. If you want, I'll ask her to take you with her.”

Jaesh made a face. ”I love Aunt Feanna, but traveling on a woman's journey wasn't what I had in mind.”

Gavin returned to his chair behind the desk. ”I understand, believe me.”

That put a smile on his nephew's face. He went to the door. ”My thanks, Uncle Gavin. Until supper, my liege.” He bowed more gracefully than Gavin thought a common-born boy could. Apparently he was receiving lessons in more than just reading and numbers.

”Until then.”

Chapter 20.

They'd had a dining table crafted that was large enough to seat Gavin, Feanna and their four adopted children, Edan and Daia, Liera and her three sons, plus four guests who varied from one meal to the next. Sometimes guards joined them, or a visiting lordover and his wife, or Gavin's warrant knight friends who'd come to remind the king of their friends.h.i.+p. From time to time they dined just the twelve of them. Gavin sat at the table's head, and Feanna always sat on his right so they could hold hands beneath the table while they ate.

Generally the children gathered at the far end and the adults grouped nearest to Gavin, but that evening eight-year-old GJ claimed the seat to Gavin's left. He ate quietly, neither listening to the conversation going on around him nor partic.i.p.ating or starting one. Several times, he set down his spoon and gently touched Gavin's hand or arm as if to rea.s.sure himself his uncle was really there.

After supper, the extended Kins.h.i.+eld family gathered in a room in which two sofas, and several chairs and stools lined the four walls, and pillows were piled in the middle of the floor for the children to lie or sit on as they pleased. Gavin thought of it as the Family Room, because it was where his family spent time together talking or telling stories to the children to prepare them for bed-time. The boys often asked for stories about battling beyonders, never noticing the way Jilly would shrink into a corner at the mere mention of the monsters, even though Gavin had put an end to their threat forever more. This evening in particular, GJ wanted a story about his father, and he moved from his own seat to climb into Gavin's lap.

Gavin supposed he provided them a special connection to their father because, except for Gavin's facial scars and missing eyetooth, they'd looked so much alike. GJ closed his eyes and clutched Gavin with all his might. ”I miss you, Papa,” he whispered.

Gavin felt like a boulder was sitting on his chest, crus.h.i.+ng his heart. He squeezed GJ closer, bent his mouth to his young nephew's ear, and whispered, ”I miss you too, son.” When he lifted his head once again, he caught Liera's tear-filled eyes watching them.

They took cues from the two youngest girls, Jilly and Tansa. When they fell asleep on the floor pillows, it was time to send them to their beds. With his magic, Gavin made each of them a softly glowing light ball to carry to their rooms. As light as a feather, they emitted no heat, and so they were safe to hold, though they weren't st.u.r.dy enough to stand up to poking and pulling. The older children, Jaesh, Trevick and Asiawyth, made a game of racing each other while carrying their light ball carefully enough that it didn't fall from their open palms. GJ joined in, but he tried to walk too fast and had to stop to scoop his light ball back into his hand.

After the children were tucked into bed, Gavin, Feanna, and Liera relaxed in the family room with a gla.s.s of wine. Rogan's b.a.s.t.a.r.d daughter weighed more heavily on his mind every time he looked at Liera or heard her speak or caught a sniff of her perfume. Feanna stared at him, her body stiff and her brow furrowed. He knew she wanted him to tell his sister-in-law about her husband's infidelity, but would Liera want to know? If he were in her shoes, he wouldn't. Not with Rogan dead.

”Liera,” Gavin said hesitantly. ”Let me ask you something as a woman. If you knew a secret about me that would hurt Feanna to know, would you tell her?” If she agreed with Feanna that a wife had a right to know everything about her husband, then he would tell her about Rogan's b.a.s.t.a.r.d child.

Liera looked at Feanna. ”No, I wouldn't. What would be the purpose in it?”