Part 2 (1/2)
”Yes.”
”Well, what do you think?”
I said, ”I don't know. What am I supposed to think?”
”Never answer a question with a question, for one thing.”
”My father used to tell me that's the only way to answer a rhetorical question.”
Duke slurped his coffee and grimaced. ”Ugh. It gets worse every day. But don't tell Sergeant Kelly I said so.” He looked at me speculatively. ”Can you operate a flamethrower?”
”Huh?”
”I'll a.s.sume that's a 'no.' How fast can you learn? By the end of the week?”
”I don't know. I guess so. Why?”
”I need a backup man. I thought you might want the job.” I started to protest-Duke ignored it. ”This time it's not just a scouting foray; it's a search and destroy. We're going back to do what we should have done yesterday. Burn some worms.” He waited for my answer.
”I don't know,” I said at last.
His eyes were steady. ”What's the problem?”
”I don't think I'm much of a military type; that's all.”
”No, that isn't all.” He fixed me with his steely gray eyes and waited.
I felt transparent before him. I tried to glance away, but I felt drawn back to his face. Duke was grim, but not angry-just patient.
I said slowly, ”I came out here to study the worms. This ... doesn't exactly fit my expectations. n.o.body told me I'd have to be a soldier.”
Duke said, ”You're getting military credit for it, aren't you?”
”Service credit,” I corrected. I'd been lucky. My biology background had qualified as a ”needed skill”-but just barely.
Duke made a face. ”So? Out here we don't draw lines that thin. There's no difference.”
”I beg your pardon, Duke, but there's a lot of difference.”
”Eh? How so?”
”It's in my contract. I'm attached as a scientist. Nowhere does it say I have to be a soldier.”
Duke leaned back in his chair. ”Better take another look at that contract, boy-the 'special duties' clause.”
I quoted from memory-we had studied it in school; Duke raised his eyebrows, but let me continue. ” 'In addition, the employee may be required by the employer, as represented by his/her immediate, or otherwise, superiors, to perform any special or unique duties for which he is properly and duly equipped, whether by training, nature or other; and which relate or pertain to the basic obligation as herein detailed-' ” Duke smiled. I continued, ” '-except where those duties are in direct conflict with the intent of this contract.' ”
Duke was still smiling. ”That's right, McCarthy-and the duties I'm asking of you are not in direct conflict. You're not under a 'peaceful intention' clause, are you?”
”Uh, I don't know.”
”You're not. If you were, you'd have never been sent up. Every man here has two jobs-his own and killing worms. Do I have to say which one takes priority?”
I said slowly, ”What does that mean?”
”That means,” said Duke, ”that if the mission is military, everyone is a soldier. We can't afford to watch out for deadheads. I need a backup man. You want to study worms, learn how to operate a flamethrower.”
”That's what you mean by 'special duties,' huh?”
He said calmly, ”That's right. You know I can't order you, McCarthy. Any operation requiring a risk to life has to be entirely voluntary. And not the old-fas.h.i.+oned 'I'll take you, you, and you' kind of volunteering either.” Duke put down his coffee cup. ”But I'll make it easy on you. You have till tomorrow to choose. When you do, go see Shorty. Otherwise, you're s.h.i.+pping out on Thursday's chopper. Got that?”
I didn't answer. ”Did you get it?”
”I got it!” I snapped.
”Good.” Duke stood up. ”You already know what you're going to choose, Jim-there's no question about that. So quit obsessing over it and get on with the job. We don't have the time.”
He was right, and I knew it, but it wasn't fair, his pressuring me.
He caught the meaning of my silence and shook his head. ”Get off it, Jim. You're never going to be any readier than you are now.”
”But I'm not ready at all!”
”That's what I meant. If you were, we wouldn't need to have this conversation. So ... what is it?” I looked up at him. ”Yes...?”
”Uh-I'm scared,” I admitted. ”What if I screw up?”
Duke grinned. ”There's a very simple test to know if you've screwed up. If you have, you've been eaten. Everything else is success. Remember that.”
He picked up his coffee cup to carry it back to the kitchen. ”I'll tell Shorty to expect you. Wear clean underwear.” Then he turned and left, leaving me staring after him.
FOUR.
LEGALLY, I was already in the army. Had been for three years. Sort of.
You were automatically enlisted when you showed up for your first session of Global Ethics, the only mandatory course in high school. You couldn't graduate without completing the course. And-you found this out only afterward-you hadn't completed the course until you'd earned your honorable discharge. It was all part of the Universal Service Obligation. Rah.
The instructor was somebody named Whitlaw. n.o.body knew much about him. It was his first semester here. We'd heard some rumors though-that he'd once punched a kid for mouthing off and broken his jaw. That he couldn't be fired. That he'd seen active duty in Pakistan-and still had the ears of the men and women he'd killed. That he was still involved in some super-secret operation and this teaching job was just a cover. And so on.
The first time I saw him, I believed it all.
He stumped into the room and slammed his clipboard down onto the desk and confronted us. ”All right! I don't want to be here any more than you do! But this is a required course-for all of us-so let's make the best of a bad situation!”
He was a squat bear of a man, gruff-looking and impatient. He had startling white hair and gun-metal gray eyes that could drill you like a laser. His nose was thick; it looked like it had been broken a few times. He looked like a tank, and when he moved, he moved with a peculiar rolling gait. He rocked from step to step, but he was surprisingly graceful.
He stood there at the front of the cla.s.sroom like an undetonated bomb and looked us over with obvious distaste. He glowered at us-an expression we were soon to recognize as an all-purpose glower of intimidation, directed not at any of us individually, but at the cla.s.s as a unit.