Part 15 (1/2)

AMY _blazes into desperate rebellion._

AMY. There's no child because I haven't chosen there shall be and there shan't be because I don't choose. You'd have me first your plaything and then Nature's, would you?

TREBELL. [_A little abashed._] Come now, you knew what you were about.

AMY. [_Thinking of those moments._] Did I? I found myself wanting you, belonging to you suddenly. I didn't stop to think and explain. But are we never to be happy and irresponsible ... never for a moment?

TREBELL. Well ... one can't pick and choose consequences.

AMY. Your choices in life have made you what you want to be, haven't they?

Leave me mine.

TREBELL. But it's too late to argue like that.

AMY. If it is, I'd better jump into the Thames. I've thought of it.

_He considers how best to make a last effort to bring her to her senses. He sits by her._

TREBELL. Amy ... if you were my wife--

AMY. [_Unresponsive to him now._] I was Justin's wife, and I went away from him sooner than bear him children. Had I the right to choose or had I not?

TREBELL. [_Taking another path._] Shall I tell you something I believe? If we were left to choose, we should stand for ever deciding whether to start with the right foot or the left. We blunder into the best things in life.

Then comes the test ... have we faith enough to go on ... to go through with the unknown thing?

AMY. [_So bored by these metaphysics._] Faith in what?

TREBELL. Our vitality. I don't give a fig for beauty, happiness, or brains.

All I ask of myself is ... can I pay Fate on demand?

AMY. Yes ... in imagination. But I've got physical facts to face.

_But he has her attention now and pursues the advantage._

TREBELL. Very well then ... let the meaning of them go. Look forward simply to a troublesome illness. In a little while you can go abroad quietly and wait patiently. We're not fools and we needn't find fools to trust in. Then come back to England....

AMY. And forget. That seems simple enough, doesn't it?

TREBELL. If you don't want the child let it be mine ... not yours.

AMY. [_Wondering suddenly at this bond between them._] Yours! What would you do with it?

TREBELL. [_Matter-of-fact._] Provide for it, of course.

AMY. Never see it, perhaps.

TREBELL. Perhaps not. If there were anything to be gained ... for the child.

I'll see that he has his chance as a human being.

AMY. How hopeful! [_Now her voice drops. She is looking back, perhaps at a past self._] If you loved me ... perhaps I might learn to love the thought of your child.