Part 27 (2/2)

Thor was in two minds about his performance. The up-and-over swing always made good television, but it was a pity he couldn't have dragged it out a little longer. What choice did he have? The green guy was just about to mention the video and then the various browsers would have tagged the comment and before you know it everyone's linked back to the old site.

He was about to turn to Zaphod to check his manager's reaction when he picked up a faint thought from about fifty feet below his feet. And the thought was either: Shark eye knothead or Zark. I'm not dead.

Zaphod whistled the first bar of 'Blinko in the Baybox', an old Betelgeusean epic shanty concerning a p.r.i.c.kled mollusc and his time spent in captivity.

'Whaddya think, Ford? Did he do enough?'

Ford whistled the second bar back at him. 'I don't know. I never felt like there was a threat. There was no drama.'

'You're right. It was all over too quickly.' Zaphod looked around. 'I wonder if there is anyone else in the market for a hammer in the head.'

Thor jogged across the field. 'What do you think? Nice up-and-over, wasn't it? I lost my temper a bit though, let the green guy rile me up. Don't worry, Zaph, it won't happen next time.'

'Next time?'

'Yes, next time. The green guy isn't dead.'

'What? Are you sure?'

'Yes, I'm sure. He's climbing out of that hole now, thinking nasty thoughts.'

'How much did you give him?'

'I don't know, maybe fifty per cent, something like that.'

Zaphod whistled another few notes of 'Blinko'. 'Fifty? Really? Did anyone ever survive that before?'

'No one that didn't have a seat at the long table.'

Zaphod beckoned to his client to shrink himself down a little. 'Tell me, Thor, honestly, can you finish Wowbagger off? Can you do it?'

Thor hunkered down. 'Zaph, I can finish off this entire planet with seventy-five per cent.' He stretched his rotator cuff. 'You might want to move everyone back a little though.'

Wowbagger crabbed one elbow out of a crack in the earth.

My suit is ruined, he thought. And that big ape didn't even break the skin. And that big ape didn't even break the skin.

Trillian felt broken. Her soul had been split by the hammer blow and she would never be the same.

We had one day together and it was the most important day of my life.

Had she done the right thing, Trillian wondered. Could she even pretend to herself that she had made the right choice?

Beside her, Random was perched on the fence, busily taking no notice of her mother's sacrifice.

'Hmmph,' she grunted suddenly. 'The b.u.g.g.e.r is still alive. I knew it.'

For only the third time in her life, Trillian Astra fainted.

A vast cone-shaped s.h.i.+p of white alloy poked through the nebula, its once-smooth fuselage pockmarked by two centuries of s.p.a.ce debris impact. No more than one tenth of its eight hundred tripropellant rockets were functioning and there was barely enough life support to keep the crew breathing. The fresh food supply was utterly exhausted and there had been nothing but recycled fluids to drink for several months.

The entire crew was fatigued and starving. Their morale was low and none of them had ever known a home besides this gigantic s.h.i.+p they were contracted to voyage in until their mission was finally complete.

The captain, a once corpulent giant of a man, had shrunk to scarecrow proportions, but he was a hero to his people. His eyes flashed green fire when the day's work was good, and deep red when a duty was neglected or an officer mistreated his men. The crew loved him and would follow him into h.e.l.l if need be.

His name was Eddon Cho and today was the day when he could finally complete the mission entrusted to him by his father, and maybe live a little of his own life.

'Navigator, tell me again,' he called across the bridge to young Vishnal Li Senz, only seventeen and already an excellent pilot.

'We're here, Captain. There can be no doubt about it. The orbit is a little weird but the air is breathable.'

Cho nodded. It was just as well, because once they landed, they wouldn't be taking off again, ever.

'Very well, take us down. Careful with the compensator and send any extra spark of power we have to the Verifyer.'

Li Senz swallowed. 'The Verifyer? My G.o.d. Are you certain, Captain?'

'I'm certain,' Eddon Cho responded grimly. 'We only get one shot at this. Now take us down.'

Li Senz cracked his knuckles, then wrapped his fingers around the manual control.

'May the Unbreakable Guarantee protect us,' he said.

Around the s.h.i.+p, his prayer was echoed by over two thousand souls.

On the surface of Nano, the crowd was feeling a little cheated. Perko St Waring Speckle was showing a new and not altogether attractive side of his personality after a few coffees and a build-up of antic.i.p.at-o-acid in his wings.

'Is that it?' he called. 'Is that the entire show? Lame-o. Pathetic.'

Hillman Hunter was none too impressed either.

'I mean, it was a good hit, that up-and-over action, but the cheesers' guy is getting back up. What good is that to me?'

Buff Orpington had tears on his cheeks. 'He'll do it all right. Just you wait and see. Thor is just warming up, that's all. Working out the kinks.'

'He'd better work them out fast, or we'll all be adoring the big Cheese.'

The surface chatter was abruptly halted by the sight of nearly a hundred spiralling rings of light descending through the atmosphere. The rings incrementally revealed themselves to be the rear engines of a gargantuan s.h.i.+p which eased itself earthwards, shedding s.h.i.+eld panels as it dropped. Several of the engines sparked and burned out, dropping the s.h.i.+p in erratic jolts until it finally touched down in a nearby lake, flash-boiling it to a misty shroud.

'Oooh,' said Ford Prefect. 'Spooky.'

There was almost complete silence for several moments until a slender robot arm, muscled with power cables, popped from a hatch in the strange s.h.i.+p's belly. At the tip of the arm was a blinking sensor that moved rapidly towards the crowd, quickly circ.u.mventing the cows hoping for a meat-eater.

Further and further the arm went, telescoping from the body of the s.h.i.+p, over Wowbagger's head, through Thor's legs, dodging away from Zaphod, who made a lunge for it. Stopping finally in front of Random.

'Random Dent?' it asked in a real robotic voice, back from when robots were robots and didn't have personalities of their own.

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