Part 64 (1/2)

”Don't stop him,” cried Coleman, ”I begin to see what he is aiming at.”

”Eh! of course you do, Freddy, boy,” continued Lawless; ”and it's not such a bad dodge either, is it? Your governor lays down the broad principle that the highest bidder shall be the purchaser, and on this ground backs the drysalter; now if I drive over this morning, propose in due form for your cousin's hand, and outbid the aforesaid drysalting individual, the governor must either sacrifice his consistency, or accept my offer.”

”Well, and suppose he does, what good have you done then?” asked I.

”Eh, good?” returned Lawless, ”every good to be sure; and first and foremost knocked over the drysalter--if I'm accepted, he must be rejected, that's a self-evident fact. Well, once get rid of him, and it's all plain sailing--I find a hundred reasons for delaying to fulfil my engagement; in a month's time I come into my property (the jolly old aunt who left it me tied it up till I was five and twenty--and the old girl showed her sense too, for ten to one I should have made ducks and drakes of it when I was young and foolish); very well--I appoint Freddy agent and receiver of the rents--(the fellow that has it now makes five hundred a year of it, they tell me); and then suddenly change my mind, jilt Miss Markham, and if Governor Coleman chooses to cut up rough, he may bring an action of 'breach of promise,' lay the damages at five thousand, and so get a nice little round sum to buy -427-- the young woman's wedding clothes when she marries Freddy. That's the way to do business, isn't it, eh?”

”'Pon my word it's a grand idea,” said Coleman; ”how came you ever to think of it? But, my dear Lawless, are you really in earnest about the receivers.h.i.+p?”

”In earnest? to be sure I am; I always intended it.”

”I'm sure I'm very much obliged to you,” replied Freddy, in a tone of grateful surprise; ”it's the kindest thing in the world; but about the first part of your plan, I don't know what to say.”

”You never can think of carrying out such a mad scheme,” remonstrated I; ”I thought, of course, you were only in jest.”

”Can you propose anything better, eh?” asked Lawless.

”Why, I don't know,” returned I, musing. ”Suppose Freddy were to go and tell his father of his attachment, and say that the receivers.h.i.+p, with a small share in the business, would enable him to support a wife comfortably--how would that do?”

”No use,” said Freddy; ”as long as that aggravating drysalter, with his two thousand per annum, is in the field, my father would consider it his duty to say 'No'.”

”Eh? yes, of course,” rejoined Lawless, ”fathers always do consider their duty to be intensely unpleasant on all such occasions, and it's a duty they never neglect either--I will say that for them. No! depend upon it, mine is the only plan.”

”Really, Frank, I don't see what else is to be done,” urged Freddy; ”the danger from the drysalter is great and imminent, remember.”

”Well, you and Lawless can settle it between you: you are a pair of eccentric geniuses, and know how you like to manage your own affairs better than a sober-minded man such as I am.”

”I tell you what, Mr. Sober-minded-man, I mean to take you with me on my expedition; I shall want somebody to pat me on the back--besides, your proper, well-behaved manner will give an air of respectability to the affair.”

”Really you must--” began I.

”Really I won't,” retorted Lawless; while Coleman, seizing me by the arm, drew me on one side.

”Frank, without any joke, I think this freak of Law-less's may enable me to get rid of my rival--this Mr. Lowe Brown--and I should take it as the greatest kindness if you would go with him, and keep him in order; of course I must not be seen at all in the matter myself.”

-428-- ”Well, if you are really in earnest, and want me to go, I'll do it,” replied I; ”though I don't see that I shall be of much use.”

”Shall I write and put Lucy up to it, or not?” rejoined Coleman meditatively.

”If you take my advice, you will not,” replied I; ”in fact, the success of your scheme depends very much on keeping her in the dark as to Lawless's not being a _bona fide_ offer. Either her simple woman's mind would dislike the trickery of the thing altogether, or she would excite suspicion by falling into the plot too readily. I would merely write her a cheering note, telling her that you were likely to get an appointment which would enable you to marry; urging her to be firm in her refusal of your abomination, Mr. Brown; hinting that a broken heart would be premature, if not altogether superfluous, and giving her a few general notions that the affair would end happily, without touching upon Lawless at all.”

”Perhaps it would be as well,” replied Freddy; ”at all events it will add greatly to the fun of the thing.”

”And let me tell you, that's a consideration by no means to be lost sight of,” put in Lawless, who had overheard the last remark.

”Depend upon it, it's a man's duty--partly to himself, partly to his neighbour--never to miss an opportunity of recruiting his exhausted and care-worn frame, and all that sort of thing, by enjoying a little innocent recreation: '_nec semper_'--what do ye call it?--'_tendit Apollo_,' eh?”

”That's quite my view of the case,” said Freddy, whose elastic spirits were fast recovering their accustomed buoyancy. ”I hate the dolefuls--Care killed a cat.”

”If that's the worst thing Care ever did, I'll forgive her, eh?” said Lawless, ”for cats are horrid poaching varmints, and make awful havoc among the young rabbits. Well, Fairlegh, have you made up your mind?”

”Yes,” replied I, ”I am at your service for this morning; but understand, I merely go as a spectator of your prowess.”