Part 48 (1/2)

-325-- The scene at this moment would not have made a bad study for a painter. Oaklands, having struggled in vain to preserve his gravity, was in fits of laughter. f.a.n.n.y, who had from the first perceived the equivoque, was very little better, while my mother, completely mystified, sat staring at Lawless, whom she evidently considered a little insane, with an expression of bewildered astonishment, not unmixed with fear. As soon as I could contrive to speak (for Lawless's face, when he had discovered the effect he had produced, completely finished me, and I laughed till the tears ran down my cheeks), I explained to him that it was my sister, and not my mother, who was thinking of riding, while the notion of hunting originated wholly and solely in his own fertile imagination.

”Eh? What! she doesn't hunt?--ah! I see, put my foot in it pretty deep this time; beg pardon, Mrs. Fairlegh--no offence meant, I a.s.sure you.

Well, I thought it was a very fast thing for an old----I--that is, for a lady to do. I fancied you were so well up in the whole affair, too: most absurd, really; I certainly am not fit for female society. I think, when the hunting season's over, I shall put myself to one of those tip-top boarding-schools to learn manners for a quarter; the sort of shop, you know, where they teach woman her mission--(how to get a rich husband, eh, Frank?)--for three hundred pounds a year, was.h.i.+ng and church principles extra, and keep a 'Professor' to instruct the young ladies in the art of getting out of a carriage on scientific principles, that is, without showing their ankles. Didn't succeed very well with my sister Julia, though; the girl happens to be particularly clean about the pasterns, so she declared it was infringing on the privileges of a free-born British subject, vowed her ankles were her own property, and she had a right to do what she liked with 'em, and carried out her principles by kicking the Professor's s.h.i.+ns for him. Plucky girl is Julia; she puts me very much in mind of what I was when I was her age at Eton, and pinned a detonating cracker to old Botherboy's coat-tail, so that, what between the pin and the explosion, it's my belief he would have found himself more comfortable in the battle of Waterloo, than he felt the first time he sat down. Ah! those were happy days!”

Thus running on, Lawless kept us in a roar of laughter, till Oaklands, pulling out his watch, discovered it was time to return to the Hall, and prepare for dinner. It turned out, on examination, that the habit did require altering, so the ride was put off till the necessary repairs -326-- should be executed. As the next day proved too frosty to hunt, Lawless and I, under the auspices of the head-keeper, set to work to slaughter the supernumerary pheasants, Sir John and Harry joining us for a couple of hours, though Ellis would not allow the latter to carry a gun. We had a capital day's sport, and got home just in time to dress, and Sir John having contrived in the course of the afternoon to carry off my mother and f.a.n.n.y, we were a very comfortable little party. Sir John took my mother down to dinner, and Lawless paired off with f.a.n.n.y, an arrangement which, as his eccentricities evidently afforded her great amus.e.m.e.nt, I was not sorry for.

”Why, f.a.n.n.y,” whispered I, when we joined the ladies in the drawing-room, ”you are growing quite frisky; what a row you and Lawless were making at dinner-time! I have not heard you talk and laugh so much for many a day.”

”Oh! your friend is famous fun,” replied f.a.n.n.y--”perfectly irresistible; I a.s.sure you I am delighted with him--he is something quite new to me.”

”I am so glad you have asked Lawless here,” observed I to Oaklands; ”do you see how much pleased and amused f.a.n.n.y is with him?--he appears to have aroused her completely--the very thing we were wis.h.i.+ng for. He'll be of more use to her than all of us put together.”

”He seems to me to talk a vast deal of nonsense,” replied Harry, rather crossly, as I fancied.

”And yet 1 can't help being amused by it,” replied I; ”I'm like f.a.n.n.y in that respect.”

”I was not aware your sister had a taste for that style of conversation.

I confess it's a sort of thing which very soon tires me.”

”Splendid old fellow, Sir John,” observed Lawless in an undertone, seating himself by f.a.n.n.y; ”I never look at him without thinking of one of those jolly old Israelites who used to keep knocking about the country with a plurality of wives and families, and an immense stud of camels and donkeys: they read 'em out to us at church, you know--what do you call 'em, eh?”

”One of the Patriarchs, I suppose you mean,” replied f.a.n.n.y, smiling.

”Eh--yes, that's the thing. Noah was rather in that line before he took to the water system, wasn't he? Well, now, if you can fancy one of these ancients, decently dressed in a blue coat with bra.s.s b.u.t.tons, knee shorts and silk stockings, like a Christian, it's my belief he'd be the very moral (as the old women call it) of Sir John; uncommonly -327-- handsome he must have been--even better looking than Harry, when he was his age.”

”Mr. Oaklands is so pale and thin now,” replied f.a.n.n.y.

”Eh! isn't he just?” was the rejoinder. ”Many a man has been booked for an inside place in a hea.r.s.e for a less hurt than his; and I don't know that he is out of the wood, even yet.”

”Why, you don't think him worse?” exclaimed f.a.n.n.y anxiously. ”Nothing has gone wrong--you have not been told--are they keeping anything from me?”

”Eh! no! 'pon my word; Ellis, who is getting him into condition, say's he's all right, and will be as fresh as a colt in a month or two. Why, you look quite frightened.”

”You startled me for a moment,” replied f.a.n.n.y, colouring slightly; ”any little relapse renders Sir John so uncomfortable that we are naturally anxious on his account.”

”I am sure Lawless is boring your sister,” observed Oaklands, who had been sitting quite at the farther end of the drawing-room, cutting open the leaves of a new book. ”I know that worried look of hers so well:--I shall go and interpose on her behalf.--Lawless,” he continued, crossing over to him, ”the billiard-room is lighted up, if you like to challenge Fairlegh to a game.”

”Billiards, eh?” returned Lawless; ”why, really, if you had walked as many miles to-day as I have, I don't think you'd much fancy trotting round a billiard-table. Besides, I'm very well off where I am,” he added, with what was intended for a gallant glance towards f.a.n.n.y; ”here's metal more attractive, as the fellow says in the play.”

Oaklands' only reply was a slight curl of the lip, and, turning to f.a.n.n.y, he said, ”Are you at all inclined to take your revenge? We shall have time for a good game if we begin at once; will you come into the music-room, or shall I fetch the chess-men here?”

”Is it not rather late?” replied f.a.n.n.y hesitatingly.

”Not if we begin now,” returned Oaklands.

”Mr. Lawless was offering to show me some tricks with cards; as they will not take so long a time as a game of chess, perhaps that would be most advisable this evening.”

”Whichever you prefer; I will ring for cards,” replied Oaklands coldly.

He then waited until the servant had executed the order, and, as soon as Lawless had attracted public attention to his performance, left the room un.o.bserved.

-328-- Wonderful things did the cards effect under Lawless's able management--very wonderful indeed, until he showed you how they were done; and then the only wonder was that you had not found them out for yourself, and how you could have been stupid enough to be taken in by so simple a trick: and very great was Lawless on the occasion, and greater still was Ellis, who was utterly sceptical as to the possibility of performing any of the tricks beforehand, and quite certain, as soon as he had seen it, that he knew all about it, and could do it easily himself, and who, on trying, invariably failed; and yet, not profiting one bit by his experience, was just as sceptical and just as confident in regard to the next, which was of course attended by a like result.