Part 37 (1/2)
”'Pon my word it's true, and what will you lay it's a lie?” sang Archer.
”Oh! if you had but seen him, Fairlegh; he looked like--hang me if I know anything ugly enough to compare him to.”
”Was he at all like me, sir?--umph!” inquired Mr. Frampton in his gruffest tone, putting on the broad-brimmed hat, and rising slowly from his seat as he spoke.
”The very apparition itself, by Jingo!” exclaimed Archer, starting back in alarm, half real, half affected, thereby nearly overturning Lawless, who was just behind him.
-244--”Hold hard there, young fellow; where are you jibbing to? You'll smash my panels in a minute, if you don't look out--eh?--why surely it's the old boy from Helmstone,” continued Lawless aside; ”Mr.
Frampton--sir, your most obedient.”
”Same to you, sir,” was the reply; ”glad to see your spirits don't seem likely to fail you, Mr. Lawless--laughing at me, all of 'em, impudent young dogs--what's t'other one's name, Frank? the one that took me for a ghost--umph!”
”Allow me to introduce you--Mr. Frampton, Mr. Archer, Mr. Green, Mr.
Lacy, Mr. Richards.”
The individuals named delivered themselves of a series of nods and jerks as I p.r.o.nounced their various patronymics, and Mr. Frampton took off his hat, and made a polite bow to each man separately; then turning to Archer, he said:--
”Pray, sir, may I inquire when and how you became so intimate with Noah's great-grandfather as to mistake me for him?--umph!”
”Well, sir,” said Archer, who was evidently taken somewhat aback by this direct appeal, ”it is an affair--that is, a circ.u.mstance--what I mean to say is--the thing, as you must see, was completely--in fact it was quite by accident, and promiscuously, so to speak, that I mistook you for the respectable antediluvian--I should say, for his ghost.”
”Umph! don't think I look much like a ghost, either. Not that there are such things in reality; all humbug, sir. A man goes and eats beef and pudding enough for two, has the night-mare, fancies next morning he has seen a ghost, and the first fool he tells it to believes him. Well, Mr.
Lawless, not made a ghost of yourself by breaking your neck out of that Infernal Machine of yours yet. Get his ex-majesty Louis Philippe to go out for a ride with you in that, and his life would be in greater danger than all the Fieschis in France could ever put it in. Umph!”
”The horses are in first-rate condition,” returned Lawless, ”enough to pull a fellow's arms off till they've done about ten miles; that takes the steel out of them a bit, and then a child may guide them. Happy to take you a drive, Mr. Frampton, any time that suits you--eh?”
”Thank ye, sir, when that time comes I'll let you know; but I hope to live a few years longer yet, and therefore you'll excuse my not accepting your kind offer. Besides, if Mr. Archer was to see the ghost of Noah's great-grand-father -245--in a tandem, he'd never get over it.”
Then came the aside: ”Umph! had him there, the young jackanapes”.
”Well, Fairlegh, are you coming with us?” asked Lacy; ”the list must be out by this time.”
”No; 'pon my word I can't,” replied I. ”I'm good for nothing this morning.”
”Serve you right, too,” said Lawless, ”for refusing the second bowl of punch last night. I told you no good would come of it, eh?”
”Positively we ought to be going,” interposed Richards; ”we'll bring you some news presently, Fairlegh, that will set you all right again in no time.”
”I only wish you may prove a true prophet,” replied I. ”Umph! if you'll allow me, I'll accompany you, gentlemen,” said Mr. Frampton; ”make one of your party, umph!”
Several of those thus appealed to exchanged glances of horror, and at last Archer, who was rather an exclusive, and particularly sensitive to ridicule, began:--
”Why, really, sir, you must excuse--”
”Umph! excuse? no excuses are required, sir; when you've lived as long as I have, you'll learn not to care in what company you sail, so as it's honest company. Noah's great-grandfather found out the truth of that, sir, when he had to be hail-fellow-well-met with tiger-cats and hippopotamuses in the ark--hippopotami, I suppose you cla.s.sical men call it--though, now I come to think of it, he never was there at all. But you will let an old man go with you, there's good boys,” continued Mr.
Frampton in a tone of entreaty; ”not one of you feels more interest in Frank Fairlegh's success than I do.”
”Come along, governor,” exclaimed Lawless, taking him by the arm, ”you and I will go together, and if anybody gets in your way, down he goes if he were as big as Goliath of Gath. You shall see the list as soon as any one of them, for you're a trump--a regular brick!”
”With a very odd tile on the top of it,” whispered Archer, pointing to the broad brim.