Part 3 (2/2)
”That will be very kind indeed,” replied I; ”but will not Dr. Mildman be angry with you about it?”
”Not he,” said Coleman, ”he never finds fault unless there's real necessity for it; he's as good a fellow as ever lived, is old Sam, only he's so precious slow.”
”I am glad you like him, he seems so very kind and good-natured,” said I, ”just the sort of person one should wish one's tutor to be. But about c.u.mberland and Lawless; what kind of fellows are they when you come to know them?”
”Oh, you will like Lawless well enough when he gets tired of bullying you,” replied Coleman; ”though you need not stand so much of that as I was obliged to bear; you are a good head taller than I am--let's look at your arm; it would be all the better for a little more muscle, but that will soon improve. I'll put on the gloves with you for an hour or so every day.”
”Put on the gloves!” repeated I; ”how do you mean?--what has that to do with Lawless?”
”Oh, you m.u.f.f! don't you understand?--of course, I mean the boxing-gloves; and when you know how to use your fists, if Lawless comes it too strong, slip into him.”
”He must bully a good deal before I am driven to that,” replied I; ”I never struck a blow in anger in my life.”
”You will see before long,” rejoined Coleman; ”but at all events there is no harm in learning to use your fists; a man should always be able to defend himself if he is attacked.”
”Yes, that's very true,” observed I; ”but you have not told me anything of c.u.mberland. Shall I ever like him, do you think?”
”Not if you are the sort of fellow I take you to be,” replied he; ”there's something about c.u.mberland not altogether right, I fancy; I'm not very strait-laced myself, particularly if there's any fun in a thing, not so much so as I should be, I suspect; but c.u.mberland is too bad even -26--for me; besides, there's no fun in what he does, and then he's such a humbug--not straightforward and honest, you know. Lawless would not be half such a bully either, if c.u.mberland did not set him on. But don't you say a word about this to any one; c.u.mberland would be ready to murder me, or to get somebody else to do it for him--that's more in his way.”
”Do not fear my repeating anything told me in confidence,” replied I; ”but what do you mean when you say there's something wrong about c.u.mberland?”
”Do you know what Lawless meant by the 'board of green cloth' this morning?”
”No--it puzzled me.”
”I will tell you then,” replied Coleman, sinking his voice almost to a whisper--”the billiard table!”
After telling me this, Coleman, evidently fearing to commit himself further with one of whom he knew so little, turned the conversation, and, finding it still wanted more than an hour to dinner, proposed that we should take a stroll along the sh.o.r.e together. In the course of our walk I acquired the additional information that another pupil was expected in a few days--the only son of Sir John Oaklands, a baronet of large fortune in Hertfords.h.i.+re; and that an acquaintance of Coleman's, who knew him, said he was a capital fellow, but very odd--though in what the oddity consisted did not appear. Moreover, Coleman confirmed me in my preconceived idea, that Mullins's genius lay at present chiefly in the eating, drinking, and sleeping line--adding that, in his opinion, he bore a striking resemblance to those somewhat dissimilar articles, a m.u.f.f and a spoon. In converse such as this, the time slipped away, till we suddenly discovered that we had only a quarter of an hour left in which to walk back to Langdale Terrace, and prepare for dinner; whereupon a race began, in which my longer legs gave me so decided an advantage over Coleman that he declared he would deliver me up to the tender mercies of the ”Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals,” for what he was pleased to call ”an aggravated case of over-driving a private pupil”.
We had not more than five minutes left when we arrived at Dr. Mildman's door, Coleman affording a practical ill.u.s.tration of the truth of the aphorism, that ”it is the pace that kills”; so that Thomas's injunction, ”Look sharp, gentlemen,” was scarcely necessary to induce us to rush upstairs two steps at a time. In the same hurry I entered my bedroom, without observing that the door was standing ajar rather suspiciously, for which piece of inattention I -27--was rewarded by a deluge of water, which wetted me from head to foot, and a violent blow on the shoulder, which stretched me on the ground in the midst of a puddle. That I may not keep the reader in suspense I will at once inform him that I was indebted for this agreeable surprise to the kindness and skill of Lawless, who, having returned from his pigeon-match half-an-hour sooner than was necessary, had devoted it to the construction of what he called a ”b.o.o.by trap,” which ingenious piece of mechanism was arranged in the following manner: The victim's room-door was placed ajar, and upon the top thereof a Greek Lexicon, or any other equally ponderous volume, was carefully balanced, and upon this was set in its turn a jug of water. If all these were properly adjusted, the catastrophe above described was certain to ensue when the door was opened.
[Ill.u.s.tration: page27 Caught in a Trap]
”Fairly caught, by Jove,” cried Lawless, who had been on the watch.
”By Jupiter Pluvius, you should have said,” joined in Coleman, helping me up again; for so sudden and unexpected had been the shock that I had remained for a moment just as I had fallen, with a kind of vague expectation that the roof of the house would come down upon me.
”I suppose I have to thank you for that,” said I, turning to Lawless.
”Pray, don't mention it, Pinafore,” was the answer; ”what little trouble I had in making the arrangement, I can a.s.sure you, was quite repaid by its success.”
”I'll certainly put on the gloves to-morrow,” whispered I to Coleman--to which he replied by a sympathetic wink, adding:--
”And now I think you had better get ready, more particularly as you will have to find out 'how to dress _jugged hair_,' as the cookery-books say”.
By dint of almost superhuman exertions I did just contrive to get down in time for dinner, though my unfortunate ”jugged hair,” which was anything but dry, must have presented rather a singular appearance. In the course of dinner Dr. Mildman told us that we should have the whole of the next day to ourselves, as he was obliged to go to London on business, and should not return till the middle of the day following--an announcement which seemed to afford great satisfaction to his hearers, despite an attempt made by c.u.mberland to keep up appearances, by putting on a look of mournful resignation, which, being imitated by Coleman, who, as might be expected, rather overdid the thing, failed most signally. -28--
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