Part 28 (1/2)
”But the world,--how would it judge of such a plan?”
”Cornelia, I should have thought you philosopher enough to despise the world and its judgments.”
”Perhaps,--but custom--”
”You may offend against custom, but not morality. Our love bears the highest consecration in itself. If you are thoroughly pervaded with its influence, you may trust yourself to it without fear. But what am I talking about? Ask your own heart whether you will make me of less importance than consideration for the opinion of the world,--whether you can inflict this sorrow upon yourself and your _Heinrich_.”
”And do you not take the same precautions, _Heinrich_? Do you not deny me before society for the sake of 'its despicable prejudices'?”
_Henri_ was embarra.s.sed for a moment; then he said, calmly, ”If I now make confessions to the influential circles which have the decision of my fate, it will be done while I am not compelled to be deprived of you. If I had only the choice of leaving you or giving up my plans, I should not hesitate a moment to do the latter. If you go to Herr Linderer's, you will place me in this alternative. I must either give you up for a long time, or prematurely acknowledge our relations and destroy my hopes for the future. Speak, my angel! If you demand the latter, be proud to prove that I love you better than you do me, and can make greater sacrifices.”
”No, no, my dearest! You shall not think me so selfish; I should be ashamed to accept such an one from you. I will stay in this house and refuse Herr Linderer's offer. People may say what they please; better they should suspect me than that you should doubt my love.”
”Those words were worthy of you, Cornelia!” cried _Henri_. ”What grat.i.tude can reward you as you deserve?”
Cornelia gazed into his eyes long and earnestly. ”Justify my confidence, _Heinrich_, and you will give me the highest, the only reward I ask. And now farewell for to-day.”
”Must I leave you? Ah, one moment more!”
Cornelia shook her head sadly. ”No, it cannot be; it is late, and I must rest; but you can go through the room with me,--will you?”
”Yes, my angel, I will go with you to the threshold of your room; and then turn away from the door of heaven like a condemned spirit.”
”Come,” said Cornelia; and slowly entered the room leaning on his arm.
There lay the corpse in the coffin, a wreath of blossoming myrtle on the head, and Cornelia's red roses on the heart. Her tears flowed again, her grief burst forth anew, as she looked down on the silent, pale, old bride.
”Oh, faithful guardian of my childhood!” she sobbed, ”will you leave your Cornelia alone? Open your lips once more and tell me, oh! tell whether I am doing right in what I have just promised my beloved one!
Ah, speak to me once, only once more, true, pure heart, which has been my refuge in joy and sorrow!”
”Have you forgotten that I am by your side, Cornelia?” said _Henri_, reproachfully.
She turned from the body, pressed a fervent kiss upon his lips, and allowed him to lead her through the apartment to her own room. Here she paused. ”Thanks, dearest Heinrich! farewell!”
”Must I leave you alone with your tears?”
”Oh, the would gush forth again whenever you went, no matter how long you might remain!”
”Do you not fear your own thoughts while you are in this excited mood?”
”Not in this cheerful chamber. It is protected by all the thousand dreams of love I have had here. There is your picture; where that is the icy breath of death cannot enter. Farewell!”
”Ah, if I might only sleep on the threshold before your door, I would never seek soft pillows!” Again he clasped her in his arms; then, with an effort, tore himself away. ”Good-night!”
”Good-night, Heinrich!” she cried in a tone which revealed all the wealth of ardent feeling she had repressed with so much difficulty; then disappeared in her own room and locked the door.
_Henri_ averted his face as he pa.s.sed the corpse. He had once more received a solemn lesson, and it was only when his agitated feelings began to grow calm that he was able to justly comprehend the importance of the last hour.
He returned home absorbed in thought, and the first thing he did was to cast aside the star-bedecked uniform. Then he paced up and down his room, while the most conflicting thoughts whirled through his brain.
Cornelia's sacrifice had shamed him deeply. Was he to misuse it, and abuse her confidence? Must he not reward her better?