Part 19 (2/2)

What do you mean by--like you? I don't understand.

PAULA.

Love me.

ELLEAN.

Love is not a feeling that is under one's control. I shall alter as time goes on, perhaps. I didn't begin to love my father deeply till a few months ago, and then I obeyed my mother.

PAULA.

Ah, yes, you dream things, don't you--see them in your sleep? You fancy your mother speaks to you?

ELLEAN.

When you have lost your mother it is a comfort to believe that she is dead only to this life, that she still watches over her child. I do believe that of my mother.

PAULA.

Well, and so you haven't been bidden to love _me_?

ELLEAN.

[_After a pause, almost inaudibly._] No.

PAULA.

Dreams are only a hash-up of one's day-thoughts, I suppose you know.

Think intently of anything, and it's bound to come back to you at night. I don't cultivate dreams myself.

ELLEAN.

Ah, I knew you would only sneer!

PAULA.

I'm not sneering; I'm speaking the truth. I say that if you cared for me in the daytime I should soon make friends with those nightmares of yours. Ellean, why don't you try to look on me as your second mother? Of course there are not many years between us, but I'm ever so much older than you--in experience. I shall have no children of my own, I know that; it would be a real comfort to me if you would make me feel we belonged to each other. Won't you? Perhaps you think I'm odd--not nice. Well, the fact is I've two sides to my nature, and I've let the one almost smother the other. A few years ago I went through some trouble, and since then I haven't shed a tear. I believe if you put your arms round me just once I should run upstairs and have a good cry. There, I've talked to you as I've never talked to a woman in my life. Ellean, you seem to fear me.

Don't! Kiss me!

[_With a cry, almost of despair,_ ELLEAN _turns from_ PAULA _and sinks on to the settee, covering her face with her hands._

PAULA.

[_Indignantly._] Oh! Why is it! How dare you treat me like this?

What do you mean by it? What do you mean?

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