Part 10 (1/2)

The worthy coachman rose with alacrity to obey, and Jemima accepted the proffered cup of tea in the midst of a vain attempt to quiet the baby Richards, which happened to be unusually restive that night.

”To think, too,” continued Maryann with a laugh, ”that I should 'ave gone an' mistook the dear creetur at first for a cannibal!”

”Maryhann,” said Jemima, solemnly, ”I don't believe there's no such things as cannibals.”

”No more do I, Jemimar--did you speak, Mr Richards?” inquired Maryann, with a sudden a.s.sumption of dignity.

The coachman, who was devotedly engaged with his fifth slice of b.u.t.tered toast, protested solemnly that he had not spoken, but admitted that he had experienced a tendency to choke--owing to crumbs--just at the point when Maryann happened to allude to the cannibals. Maryann had a suspicion that the tendency to choke was owing to other causes than crumbs; but as she could not prove her point, and as the baby Richards took it into his head at that moment to burst into an unaccountable and vehement fit of laughter, she merely tossed her head, and resumed her observations.

”No, Jemimar, nothing will ever convince me that there are any savages so depravated as to prefer a slice of 'uman flesh to a good beefsteak, an' it's my belief that that himperent Irishman, Larry O'Ale, inwented it all to gammon us.”

”I quite agree with you, Maryhann,” said Jemima, who indeed always agreed with any proposition her friend chose to put forth; ”an' I 'old that it is contrairy to 'uman reason to imagin such beastliness, much less to do it.”

Here Richards had the temerity to observe that he wasn't quite sure that such things were never done; ”for,” said he, ”I 'eard Mr Osten himself say as 'ow he'd seen 'em do it, an' surely _he_ wouldn't go for to tell a lie.” At which remark Jemima advised him to hold his tongue, and Maryann replied, with an expression of scorn, that she wondered to 'ear 'im. Did he suppose Master Will didn't sometimes indulge in a little 'armless jesting like other people? She would have added more, but unfortunately the crumbs got into Richards' throat again, causing that sceptical man to grow red in the face, and give vent to sounds like mild choking.

”'Owever,” observed Jemima, ”it don't matter now, as Mr William and 'is bride are safe 'ome again, and if Mr O'Ale also was fond of a joke, like other people, there is no 'arm in that. Poor fellow, I 'ope 'e's well, an' Mr Bunco too, though he _is_ a Red Hindian.”

”'Ear 'ear!” said Richards, suddenly seizing his cup; ”let us drink their 'ealth, an' the 'ealth of all their comrades, for this is the last night of the year, an' by all accounts they won't likely be spendin' it in the midst o' such comforts an' blessin's as we does. Come, la.s.ses, drink it merrily, fill yer gla.s.ses, let the teapot circle round.”

The tone in which this proposal was made, and the fact that it _was_ the last night of the year, induced Maryann to respond, with gracious condescension:--

”Well, Richards, I'm agreeable.”

”Here, then,” said Richards, raising his cup on high, ”I give you the 'ealth of Mr Larry O'Ale, Mr Bunco, an' all absent friends--wis.h.i.+n'

'em luck, an' lots o' gold.”

”An' a 'appy deliverance from these 'orrible countries,” added Maryann.

”I agree with _you_, Maryhann,” said Jemima, draining her cup to the dregs in honour of the toast.

But how did Larry and his friends spend that last night of the year in the far-off golden land? Let Larry speak for himself, in a letter which was received by Will Osten, many months afterwards, and which we now give _verbatim et literatim_.

The letter in question was written in a remarkably cramped hand, on several very dirty sheets of blue ruled foolscap, folded with much care and crookedness, and fastened with a red wafer which bore the distinct impression of an extremely hard knuckle. It ran thus:--

”Grizlie bar gultch first janooary.

”Dear mister osten, i taik up my pen, the its litil i has to do wid sitch things, to let yoo no that this coms hopin' your al wel as it leeves us--barrin bunko who overait hiself last nite at super but hees al rite again, yool be glad to larn that we hav diskivered lots o goold.

wan day whin i wos up the straim i thowt id tri me luk in a hole, an faix didnt i turn up a nugit o puer goold as big as my hid. i tuk it down to the hous an' didnt we spind a nite over it! its glad i was we had no likker for i do belaive weed have all got rorin drunk, as it was, sure we danced haf the nite to the myoosik of a kitle drum--an owld tin kitle it was, but we didnt mind that, niver a taist, for the nugit kep up our sperits. Wel, we wint an turned up the hole kuntry after that, an' got heeps o goold. yool niver belaive it--there was nugits o' all sises from a pay to a pitaity. Kaptin dal wint to sanfransisky last munth an hees paid of the det to mister zooleeno, interest an all, so yoor free, an' theres a big sum in the bank, but i dont no ritely how much, but Kaptin dal is to rite yoo soon as to that an' a good many other things, he's too much exited about the nugit just now to midle wid the pen, so he's maid me his depity, dee see, an its that saim im allways willin to be, for im at all times as kool as a kook.u.mber, an had a first-rate eddikashun--good luk to the parish praist, anyhow--theres a good skreed to begin wid, an' so as theres enuff in this part o' me leter to kaip ye thinkin till dinner, ill just go out an have another dig in the straim an resoom me pen when i c.u.m bak.

”Wel, mister osten, as i wor saying, ive returned havin got nothin, bad skran to it, but a few small bits like a thimble, howsumeiver, that samell pay for sharpnin the tools, i now sit down to resoom me pen, as i said before i got up, but och! if ye heerd the row the other boys is goin on wid, yed find it as diffikilt to read this as i do to spel it.