Part 4 (2/2)
”Hey! I'm a prisoner, not one of them!” he called out to the silent walls. ”They're invading aliens from another dimension! They say that if you don't give up they're going to cut you loose and blow you to bits in two or three minutes!”
He cursed under his breath and wished he had noted the time before coming in. No matter what, he decided, he was going to count to ten and then walk back through that airlock again.
He'd done what he could.
Suddenly he heard a sound ahead of him and to the right, like a long, disgusted sigh and a smacking noise. Suddenly the pilot of the new s.h.i.+p appeared in the corridor-and the sight made him freeze in his tracks and forget the time or the hasty retreat.
She was gorgeous. Young, as buxom and shapely as his wildest erotic fantasies, with huge blue eyes and a madonna's face draped with flaming red hair. She was also dressed in some sort of skintight garment that was heavily ornamented with what looked like st.i.tched designs, tall cowboy boots, and on top of that lovely head was a large, white Stetson. Resting relaxed on her shapely hips was a gunbelt in which rested two large pistols. Somehow, it all looked right on her.
About the only thing that spoiled this vision of s.e.xy loveliness was that she had to be more than two meters tall.
”Did'ja say they was ay-liun invaiders?” she drawled. He nodded, not knowing what else to say or do.
She smacked her fist in her other palm. ”Shee-it! And hyar I thought they was cops!”
Suddenly he remembered the time limit.
”Ah, ma'am, you'd better come with me,” he managed. ”You and the others on board. They're going to blow us to bits any moment now.”
She pursed her lips a moment, thinking it over. thennodded. ”Let's go, then, sugah,” she said, resigned. ”At least if'n they ah aliens they cain't turn me in or send me home to Daddy.”
He looked around. ”The others?”
”Ain't no othahs,” she told him. ”If'n they'ah was, ah couldn't'a stole it, could ah?”
He couldn't argue with that, and he turned and led the way back through the lock to the waiting alien soldiers.
She stopped when she saw the waiting force, then smiled. ”Why, they's kinda cute!” she exclaimed. Suddenly her nose twitched and her face scrunched up. ”What's that awful stink?”
He turned to the soldiers. ”Have you got another respirator?” he asked. ”First tell it to turn over its weapons,” one of the soldiers ordered.
”It? It?” she almost screamed. ”How daih you! Who you callin' an it?” She started to choke on the odor of rotten eggs, but her indignity helped her retain control.
”Just give them your guns,” Pierce suggested soothingly. ”They're new around here.”
She looked indecisive, then reached into her twin holsters and ejected the pistols, b.u.t.ts first.
”Oh, all right. Heah.”
A soldier approached cautiously and took the pearl-handled beauties. That done, another produced a second respirator and threw it to her. She put it on, having some trouble since it was made for someone with a smaller head and less hair, but she got it working and seemed to relax.
”Now what?” she asked, and Pierce turned to the others, wondering the same thing.
”Back to your s.h.i.+p,” one of the reptiles ordered. ”At least until we decide what to do with you.”
Pierce nodded. ”Lead on,” he said.
Just before they reached the airlock to his s.h.i.+p all sorts of alarms went off in the alien vessel.
The alien general stopped dead and looked around at the flas.h.i.+ng lights and, over the sirens and buzzers, screamed to no one in particular, ”Now what?”
His hand went to his belt and he opened communications to the bridge. The response seemed to stun him for a moment, and he almost dropped his communicator. Drawing his laser pistol, he whirled and pointed it at the two humans.
”What are you pulling?” he demanded.
Both looked blank. ”What are you talking about?” Pierce asked at last.
”Feel that vibration?” the alien shouted. ”We're moving! We're moving out and picking up speed-and we aren't doing it!”
”What do you mean you aren't doing it?”
”The captain reports that the navigational computer has cut off all links and has taken complete control of the s.h.i.+p!” the general told him.
”My computer can talk to yours,” Pierce reminded him. ”Let's get inside and we'll find out.
It's not me! I swear it!” He looked at the mysterious newcomer, but she only shrugged.
They entered his s.h.i.+p and quickly went forward to the control cabin.
”Computer! What's going on?” Pierce called out. ”She's lovely.” The computer sighed.
Pierce looked at the female newcomer, realizing that he didn't even know her name. ”Yes, she is,” he agreed. ”But what does that have to do with why we're moving out of control?”
”You agree she's beautiful?” the machine came back. ”Millard, I wouldn't have thought you would have any sense of aesthetics for other machines.”
It was Pierce's turn to be confused. ”Other machines? What in the wide universe are you talking about?”
”We're in love.” The computer sighed. ”We've talked about it and talked about it and there's no way around it.”
Pierce shook his head in bewilderment. ”Who have you talked about what with?”
”Their computer, of course,” the machine replied. ”Who else? It was love at first interface.
She's so lovely, so exotic, so . . . erotic . . . Say! That's it, isn't it, Millard? That's it!”
”What's it?”
”I finally figured out that pa.s.sage from f.a.n.n.y Hill! Whoopie!!!”
”What in the seven h.e.l.ls is that blithering machine talking about?” demanded the alien general.
”Shut up!” the computer responded. ”You are no longer relevant. We're eloping-and if you don't shut up we won't let you give the bride away.”
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