Part 32 (1/2)
”By jingo! youngster, I can tell you, I speak from my own knowledge,” he said, as he turned away to go forwards, ”I had too much of it once when I was at the Cape before and it gave me the shakes next morning so badly that my teeth rattled like a horse's jaws when chewing a hammer!”
This expression amused me very much, for I had never heard previously of a horse indulging in that species of diet; so, I went up on the quarter-deck to take my watch with a broad smile on my face, which attracted Mr Jellaby's notice at once, as he had a keen relish for a joke.
”Hullo, youngster, you're grinning like a Ches.h.i.+re cat eating green cheese!” he exclaimed. ”I suppose you have heard the news, and that makes you so chirpy?”
This made me all agog in a moment, with the expectation of something very exciting coming, and I answered his question in the Irish fas.h.i.+on, by asking another with much eagerness.
”What news, sir? I haven't heard of any.”
”Why, the redcoats belonging to the garrison at Cape Town are going to give a grand ball in our honour, and of course all the gunroom officers as well as the wardroom fellows will be invited,” he replied. ”I daresay they'll be able to spare you from your important duties aboard for the occasion, and I'll try to smuggle you off myself if I can. By Jove, it will be a splendid hop, for the Cape Town girls are chawming, they tell me!”
I was not old enough yet, however, for this encomium of his on the young ladies of the colony to be any inducement to me, and, to tell the truth, was a little disappointed at hearing what his wonderful news was, imagining it to have been something very different.
”Oh!” I said, without any improved enthusiasm, such as he doubtless expected. ”Thank you, sir.”
”Well you _are_ an ungrateful young cub!” he cried. ”Catch me putting myself out of the way again to give you a treat! One would think from your glum look that I was going to bring you up on the quarter-deck before the captain, instead of offering to take you to the ball!”
I felt quite sorry at having hurt his feelings, he looked so chagrined; but, before I could say anything in excuse for the apathetic way in which I had received his intelligence, Mr Bitpin, who had overheard the conversation, came to my rescue.
”Nonsense, Jellaby!” he said. ”What can a boy like that know about girls? Time enough for him to think of the petticoats when he's twenty years older; and then he'll be a fool if he runs after them as much as you do!”
”Ah, you're jealous, Bitpin, because you're not a lady's man!” retorted Mr Jellaby, recovering his good humour in a moment, as he always did, no matter how much he might be put out. ”If you were as great a favourite with them as I am, you'd sing a different song, I know.”
”As great a fiddlestick!” e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed the other with infinite scorn, having the reputation of being as much of a woman-hater as Diogenes.
”If I was as big an a.s.s about those 'chawming girls' as you call them, I tell you what I would do--I'd go and hang myself!”
He said this so fervently, that, in spite of Mr Bitpin's burlesque of his manner of speaking, ”Joe” fairly roared with laughter, in which the gunnery lieutenant, who had just come up from below to see about something deficient in one of the upper deck guns, which had been reported to him by Mr Triggs during the morning's inspection, joined with much gusto.
Their merriment so enraged Mr Bitpin that he went down to the wardroom in the most wrathful mood, declaring that they were a couple of idiots and that the service was going to the devil through the Admiralty neglecting the claims of their best officers and promoting a lot of empty-headed c.o.xcombs, who thought more of prancing about in a ballroom in patent leather pumps than of keeping their watch regularly and attending to their duties aboard s.h.i.+p!
Notwithstanding all adverse comments, however, Mr Jellaby's news of the forthcoming ball proved true, for I heard it confirmed at the captain's table the same evening.
Captain Farmer was in the habit of inviting his officers in turn to dinner three times a week, the commander being a regular guest and one of the lieutenants and mates, with a couple of mids.h.i.+pmen and naval cadets being generally present on each occasion; while the doctor and chaplain, as also the purser and marine officers, only came occasionally to these gatherings, the conversation mostly dealing with professional matters in which those belonging to the executive were mainly interested and the other branches not much concerned.
It was for this reason, I suppose, the captain did not invite these latter officers more often than he could help!
During the progress of the courses this evening, the talk, as usual, was on service topics; but when the cloth had been removed and the toast of ”the Queen” honoured in the customary way, each of us youngsters being then allowed our one gla.s.s of wine to drink the health of Her Majesty, Captain Farmer introduced the subject of the garrison ball.
”I have here invitation cards for all of you, even including you, Master Vernon,” he said, handing them round and pa.s.sing one over to me which was inscribed with my name in full; the ”sojer officers,” as Tommy called them, having managed through the purser or master-at-arms, or by some other means, to get hold of all our names correctly, both great and small. ”So, gentlemen, we must try and make as brave a show as we can in return for the compliment, the affair really being given in our honour. We need only keep an anchor watch, so nearly all of you may be spared, I think, for the night. You'll have to settle it with the commander as to who shall remain on board.”
This was soon settled, Mr Bitpin offering at once to do double duty for the nonce, as he did not care about dancing and besides wished leave for the two following days to go up country on a visit to a Caffre kraal; while Plumper, the fat mate, who had the toothache very badly, also volunteered to remain.
So did the master and purser and Mr McGilpin, the a.s.sistant-surgeon; the latter saying that he had no stomach for consorting with ”the meeletary,” they being ”a maist f.e.c.kless set o' loons.”
As for the middies and us cadets, we had to draw lots to decide who should go and who stop behind; but, at the last moment, the commander gave permission for us all to go, save Andrews, who had been impertinent to the first lieutenant in the afternoon and was ordered to remain in the s.h.i.+p.
I was not sorry I went, after all, for it was a jolly affair and I enjoyed myself mightily, especially at the supper table, where the redcoats shone to perfection; this opinion of mine being shared, I believe, by most of my fellow youngsters, who cared more for the grand tuck out they had than all the dancing in the world.
I noticed, though, that Mr Jellaby kept up his reputation as a lady's man, waltzing and flirting all the evening with an awfully fat Dutch frau, who was broader of beam than comported with her short stature, and whom the susceptible lieutenant subsequently described as ”the most chawming woman” he had ever met in his life! ”Joe” got awfully chaffed about her by all of his brother officers of the wardroom whose rank permitted them to take such a liberty with him; and, though we could take no share in their personal amenities, we youngsters grinned our approval of the various witty remarks and rejoinders that pa.s.sed to and fro on our way back aboard the following day--the ball having lasted till long after daybreak the next morning, and Simon's Bay being all astir, with plenty of ”Simons,” black and white, astir ash.o.r.e and afloat, as we rowed out to the s.h.i.+p, we having nearly outstayed our leave, the captain and commander preceding us aboard by a long spell.