Chapter 79 (1/2)

WARNING: NSFW

As he lied down on his bed at night, He Nuo felt a bit insomniac. When Shi Yan sent him back, he had said that he would come look for him tomorrow, so after he ate dinner at home he quickly finished the revision papers that he was supposed to work the next day. After he finished most of them, it was already 1am. He thought that he would dream of Zhou gong1, yet he felt unexpectedly energetic and didn’t feel the least bit sleepy. Within the lonesome silence, He Nuo’s mind was as clear as a mirror. With the recurrence of today’s (actually yesterday’s) office event, he could no longer escape the problem that he had always been reluctant to delve into.

No matter how simple-minded he may be, he had still taken physiological classes before and understood ethics and morality, so he knew that what he did with Shi Yan was shameful and wrong. When Shi Yan had done something like that to him (he can’t think or even say the word ‘rape’, not even in his heart), it made him feel deeply humiliated and had even pushed his sense of inferiority up to the surface. But what Shi Yan was doing to him now no longer brought him shame or pain, and instead gave him pleasure. Being near Shi Yan felt like bathing in the warm sunshine during winter, and feeling the warm breeze that blew on the grass in autumn. His resistance to Shi Yan’s embrace seemed so vague now.

It was the first time for the ignorant He Nuo to step into the palace of desire. Even though he knew that they did was considered ‘self-consoling’, it was better known as ‘masturbation’. Their school had issued a popular science booklet in his first year which described the growth and development of adolescents. The book had emphasised over and over again that self-consolation was a normal thing to do for adolescent boys, so they need not feel pressure nor shame for doing it. But He Nuo was deeply influenced by his inheritance of the thousand-year education that dictated “lust as the mastermind behind ten thousand evils”, so how could he comfortably masturbate? And the more serious problem is: right now he and Shi Yan were comforting each other. He felt like he was doing something wrong, something obscene.

But who was obscene? He wasn’t, and neither was Shi Yan. His thoughts were all muddled and chaotic, where did the fault lie? It wasn’t appropriate to say that Shi Yan was acting like a hoodlum, because he didn’t feel like he was being bullied by Shi Yan. It actually felt more pleasurable when Shi Yan does it for him than when he does it himself. He recalled how Shi Yan brought some warm water afterwards that night and that huge handkerchief again, and how he didn’t want Shi Yan to wipe him down. But he couldn’t even raise his hand to start cleaning himself up in front of Shi Yan. After Shi Yan generously helped him wash away the foul liquid, he wiped off the liquid on his own body too. By the time He Nuo fell asleep, he was still unable to dispel the clouds above him that were concealing the answers to his doubts.

After he had lunch on a Sunday, Shi Yan came to He Nuo’s house and lied down on his bed the moment he entered the room. He Nuo specially sat on the stool in front of his table, but it didn’t take long before Shi Yan patted the space next to him and asked him to go over. He Nuo didn’t want to stick so close to Shi Yan, so he didn’t go over. Shi Yan went over and forcibly dragged him to the bed, so He Nuo leaned close to the bed’s headboard. Shi Yan asked, puzzled, “What’s wrong with you? Why are you being so awkward?”

He Nuo hesitated, “I don’t want to.”

“What don’t you want?” Shi Yan didn’t understand him.

“I don’t want………..” He Nuo searched for the words to say.

When Shi Yan saw the blush of shame on his face, he knew what he was talking about so he deliberately questioned, “What? What don’t you want?”

“Let’s not do that anymore, it’s so obscene.”

Shi Yan was stunned, then he laughed aloud. He Nuo was dumbfounded by his laugh, he didn’t understand why Shi Yan reacted that way. Shi Yan yanked He Nuo over and pressed him down beneath him. He couldn’t help smiling as he said, “Who did you call obscene? You? Me?”

He Nuo shook his head. Shi Yan’s eyes had a mischievously evil glint, “It’s not you, it’s me!” As he spoke, he grabbed He Nuo’s legs, “If you hadn’t mentioned it I would’ve forgotten it, didn’t our grand master scold Laozi for being a local hoodlum in front of Laoshi the other day? Looks like you’re getting really bold.”

He Nuo managed to dodge the attack of his demonic claws, but he couldn’t escape being pressured down by his huge figure that was as heavy as Mount Tai, so he was thoroughly subdued by Shi Yan and couldn’t budge an inch. This was when Shi Yan rubbed his hand in a clockwise direction across his pants, and after he had provoked the bulge between his legs erect, he gently whispered into He Nuo’s ear, “Does it feel good?”

“Un.”

“You don’t like this?”

He Nuo didn’t answer him. Shi Yan blew into his ear and He Nuo shuddered, “I like it.”

“Do you hate this?” Shi Yan gently bit his ear, then began to lick and suck on it.

“I don’t hate it.” He Nuo’s voice was trembling. The heat between his legs rose.