Chapter 64 (1/2)

Shi Yan brought He Nuo to his father’s company hostel to eat. He gave his family a call to inform them that he wouldn’t be going back and asked them to settle the bill for them later. The blackened wounds on He Nuo’s hand that he was using chopsticks with made it difficult for Shi Yan to swallow this meal. When he was washing his hands before they ate, he had seen He Nuo’s eyebrows twitch from the pain. After the meal, he discovered that there was a serious injury on his left palm when he grasped He Nuo’s hand, “These were all caused while you were welding?”

He Nuo nodded, “I don’t really know how to use it, that’s why it got like this.” Since He Nuo was a temporary worker, he was not given any equipment. He Nuo didn’t have any gloves that could protect his hands, which was why his hands were in the state they are now. After the adults went to work in the afternoon, Shi Yan and He Nuo went back to He Nuo’s house. Shi Yan asked him to sort out all of his books and prepare to go back to school tomorrow. He Nuo actually didn’t believe him, but he didn’t want to brush his good intentions off so he pulled out the carton under his bed. Shi Yan went over and squatted down to help him.

Some medication entered his line of sight. Shi Yan picked them up to look at them and his voice went hoarse, “You’re urinating blood again?!”

“I’ve recovered.”

“When?”

He Nuo jumped up. His hematuria made him think of the college entrance examination, and the examination made him think of what had happened before it. He was really frightened — the cover that he had placed on the past that he didn’t want to recall was being taken off, and the memories that he had sealed off when he faced this person was now being dragged out by Shi Yan. He Nuo felt humiliated, inferior and a sense of dread.

The moment he saw this reaction, Shi Yan’s heart sank. He said the answer for him bitterly, “During the examination.” He walked towards He Nuo and only thought of embracing him. How much…did He Nuo suffer? He Nuo had backed up to his table and there was nowhere else he could retreat to. When Shi Yan hugged him, He Nuo refused him, “Don’t, don’t…” Yet he didn’t dare to exert too much strength as he was afraid of triggering Shi Yan’s madness.

“I’m sorry, He Nuo; I’m sorry, He Nuo……” The Shi Yan who has always swelled up with inordinate arrogance was apologising piously. He hated himself, he hated his carefree travels during the holidays, and he hated himself for not coming to look for He Nuo. Even if he was busy entertaining others, he could have still gotten away for a short while to come look for He Nuo. When he was with his buddies last time, didn’t he still take some time out to come take a look at He Nuo anyway? When it boiled down to it, Shi Yan was just avoiding He Nuo in his heart. What Shi Yan didn’t realise was that he didn’t hate that afternoon, and in the years to come, he had never said that he hated what had happened that afternoon. It was not that afternoon that he felt sorry for, but the relapse of He Nuo’s illness that he had caused, and how he hadn’t been by He Nuo’s side when he was all alone and had no one else to rely on.

Shi Yan’s pain transformed into a strength that he used to imprison He Nuo, a strength to knead He Nuo into his own blood and bones. He Nuo was strangled by him to the point that he began coughing like his waist was broken before Shi Yan came to his senses and released his grip a little. He looked into his clear pair of eyes, “He Nuo, I’m sorry.”

“No, it has nothing to do with you. If I didn’t lie to them, I might already be in college by now.” He Nuo went to pick his books up, Shi Yan squatted down by his side. He Nuo looked up again and said with a bit of difficulty, “Shi Yan, if my Pa scolds you, don’t get angry, you can just leave. And if they don’t agree to let me resume classes, could you not contradict them please?”

He Nuo was worried that with Shi Yan’s arrogant personality and how he was used to being the one issuing orders, he might end up getting into a dispute with his parents if they rejected him. He was worried for Shi Yan too. He thought that it was almost impossible for Shi Yan to convince his family, but he couldn’t stop Shi Yan from walking into this wall by himself, so he wanted to inject him with a preventive shot first.