Part 8 (2/2)

I know of no more fitting close to this my view of Jesus, than a quotation from Ernest Renan's Apostrophe to Jesus. Ernest Renan was called an infidel because he abandoned the church of his fathers, and with it the deity of Jesus. But he found in Jesus the supreme model of all human life, the most perfect and complete reflection of the G.o.d-life in mankind the world has ever known.

”Repose now in thy glory, n.o.ble founder. Thy work is finished; thy divinity is established. Fear no more to see the edifice of thy labors fall by any fault. Henceforth beyond the reach of frailty, thou shalt witness from the heights of divine peace the infinite results of thy acts. At the price of a few hours of suffering, which did not even reach thy grand soul, thou hast brought the most complete immortality.

For thousands of years the world will depend on thee: Banner of our contests, thou shalt be the standard about which the hottest battle will be given. A thousand times more alive, a thousand times more beloved, since thy death than during thy pa.s.sage here below, thou shalt become the cornerstone of humanity so entirely, that to tear thy name from this world would be to rend it to its foundation. Complete conqueror of death, take possession of thy kingdom, whither shall follow thee, by the royal road which thou hast traced, ages of followers.”

LIBERTY

_MY NEW CHURCH RELATIONS AND SECOND CALL TO THE MINISTRY_

I have thus outlined, perhaps at greater length than was necessary, the processes thru which I pa.s.sed in my religious life from my early childhood to mature middle life. I have shown how I was born in the bondage of orthodoxy; and how I was ultimately driven to abandon, not only it, but religion altogether. I then outlined the processes thru which I pa.s.sed that led me to a satisfactory settlement in my own mind, of the problems embraced in the general and comprehensive term Religion, which I have tried to describe as ”My New Confession of Faith.” From the time I left the church and ministry until I reached the conclusions herein outlined, was about fifteen years. I reached them purely by my own investigations, not knowing that there was a church on earth that would accept me in its fellows.h.i.+p while holding them. I could not perjure myself by subscribing to a creed which I not only did not believe, but despised, merely for the sake of the social prestige or business advantage such church members.h.i.+p might give me, as I have known some to do, and was often importuned to do myself.

Whatever other shortcoming may be charged to my account, it can never be said of me that I was untrue to my own moral convictions in these matters; altho this tenacity to principle, or as it was often called, ”hard-headed stubbornness,” has more than once caused me embarra.s.sment, and put me at some disadvantage in business. I could not ”let the tongue say what the heart denied.”

My views of the church itself had also necessarily changed with my changed views of its theology. I no longer looked upon it as an inst.i.tution of supernatural sanct.i.ty and authority. To me it is simply The a.s.sembly. Any a.s.sembly of people gathered together for the wors.h.i.+p of G.o.d is a true church. It does not depend upon any particular form of organization, the maintenance and administration of any particular ordinances, or so-called sacraments. It does not depend upon ”Succession,”--Apostolic, Baptismal, Ordination, organization or otherwise. ”Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” This is all that is essential to a true church. It depends upon unity of purpose, rather than uniformity of belief. Hence, any a.s.sembly of people, anywhere, united together for the wors.h.i.+p of G.o.d, striving to live better lives themselves, and to help others to do the same, and thus make this world better and human life happier, meets all the essentials of a true church of G.o.d, regardless of any form of organization, ordinance, sacrament, creed, belief or ecclesiastical pedigree.

But for years,--as will presently appear,--I did not know that any church existed, that would come any way near meeting this definition.

I naturally supposed that any organization calling itself a church was based upon belief in the Bible as the infallible word of G.o.d, and the sole source of authority in all matters of religion. This I had completely abandoned and could never go back to it. In fact I did not trouble myself to inquire for a possible church fellows.h.i.+p. I supposed I was forever barred from any church members.h.i.+p whatever, except that I felt a welcome in attending the Reformed Jewish synagogue, where the preaching was on a high intellectual plane, sane and rational, dealing with modern problems instead of ancient creeds and dogmas; and I liked this. But I was not a Jew; and I knew I could never accept their theology. All I could ever expect was to be a welcome visitor, ”a stranger within the gate.”

However, I must go back a little. Some few years after I left the ministry of the Methodist Church, and while still living not far from the last church I served, a friend one day asked why I had left the Church and ministry. I told him very briefly a few of my doctrinal difficulties; to which he replied, ”Ashley, you are a Unitarian.” I thought but little of it. I was not really interested in churches any more anyway. But he handed me a pamphlet to read and told me he was a Unitarian back in Ohio where he came from. I read the pamphlet at his request. I do not now remember what it was, or just what it was about.

But I was impressed with the fact that the views therein expressed were very similar to my own; and if that was Unitarianism I was also probably a Unitarian. But still it aroused no special interest as there was no Unitarian church anywhere about. If there had been, I might then have been led to investigate further. But years went by, and all the perceptible effect was that I would occasionally think how nearly I must be a Unitarian, until I finally determined that if I ever had an opportunity I would investigate the matter further.

In the summer of 1912, business relations led me to move to Dallas, Texas. Pa.s.sing on the street one day, I noticed the sign, First Unitarian Church. A new inspiration came to me. I now had an opportunity to investigate just how near my religious convictions coincided with those of this church. When the church opened after the summer vacation I began to attend its services, only occasionally at first, reading in the meantime much of its literature kept at the church for free distribution. I became intensely interested and by the spring of 1913 I was a regular attendant. The more I read the more I found myself in substantial accord with what I understood to be the salient points of twentieth century Unitarianism. I found especially these points that impressed me very deeply: It had no creed. It had no specific statement of beliefs. It had no doctrinal standard or test of religious faith as a condition of church members.h.i.+p. It not only permitted, but encouraged the greatest freedom of thought and the most searching investigation of all subjects presented for consideration, believing firmly that truth had nothing to fear from such a course. I found it had no test of members.h.i.+p but that of human character. I found a man was judged by what _he is_, and not by what he thinks or believes. I found its service to be reverent and dignified, but free from useless ceremonial. The preaching by Rev. George Gilmour, its minister, I found to be profound and scholarly, yet deeply spiritual and inspiring, dealing primarily with present-day religious and social problems rather than creeds, dogmas or beliefs. I was profoundly surprised and much gratified to find a church and people and minister so broad, so liberal and so fraternal as I found this First Unitarian Church in Dallas. I soon found that whether I agreed with all other Unitarians or not, I at least had here a free and cordial fellows.h.i.+p for the wors.h.i.+p of G.o.d and the service of man, without any ecclesiastical harness to put on, or any strings to limit me to prescribed bounds. A new light dawned upon me. The bondage of orthodoxy I had broken years ago. But I wandered for years in the desert of agnosticism, famis.h.i.+ng and unfed. I had found in my own heart the bread of life; but I had no table at which to spread it--and man being a social animal as well as a religious one, cannot live alone.

My name was soon on the members.h.i.+p roll of this church, where I hope it will remain until I am translated, no matter where else I may serve and place it. It was here that I first found my bearings and placed my feet on the solid rock of rational religion. The supreme satisfaction, the peace of mind, serene content, and supernal joy of this situation I shall not attempt to describe. Those that were born in a liberal faith and have never known anything else can neither understand nor appreciate it. It is indeed a new birth, a new light, a new life of freedom, fellows.h.i.+p and fraternity in a common service for G.o.d and humanity.

THE NEW CALL TO PREACH

I have before described what I once interpreted as a ”divine call to preach.” It was the new-born enthusiasm of one who felt himself ”a brand s.n.a.t.c.hed from the eternal burning” to proclaim the same deliverance to what he believed to be a lost and ruined world; to warn sinners to ”flee from the wrath to come.” It was then the consuming pa.s.sion of a soul on fire with zeal for the salvation of all mankind from what he believed to be an overwhelming and eternal destruction that awaited them, and might come upon them at any moment without warning.

And now, having tasted of the sweets of liberty, I desired ”to proclaim liberty thruout the land to all the inhabitants thereof,” the same liberty to those yet in the bondage of fear from which I had escaped and to those who were still wandering in the deserts of doubt, looking for a haven of rest, and not knowing that it was so near. I knew that the great ma.s.ses were inside of the houses in which they were born, with the doors all bolted and the windows fastened down. Not a ray of light is permitted to enter there, because a new thought might explode their delusions and disturb their repose. For these there is little hope.

But I knew there were yet thousands--I had met and talked with many of them--who, as I was for years, were wandering in the deserts, hungering for the bread of life, looking for a fellows.h.i.+p where they might have freedom of thought and conscience, and yet join with others of like minds in the free wors.h.i.+p of Nature's one great G.o.d.

I would address myself to these. I was so long one of them, I thought my experience might be of benefit. It would aid me in helping them. I would tell my story of bondage, of deliverance, of wandering in the deserts of doubt, of the dawning light, of the full blaze of the sun of liberty, of freedom and fellows.h.i.+p in the wors.h.i.+p of G.o.d and the service of mankind.

I have now spent five years in this service, the happiest and best years of my life. They have been crowned with some degree of success.

I am not yet old. I hope to be able to devote at least a score of years yet to this happy service. Having escaped from Bondage to Liberty myself, my only ambition now is to carry the message of deliverance to others, until they shall likewise find freedom in The Fatherhood of G.o.d, The Brotherhood of Man, The Leaders.h.i.+p of Jesus, Salvation by Character instead of Creed, and the hope of the Progress of Mankind Onward and Upward Forever. My only regret is that I did not discover this way of light and liberty long before, so that I might have had more years to devote to this happy service.

AN AFTERWORD

Dear reader, my story is finished. I have had but one motive in writing it: A hope that I may in some way help others who are still in the meshes of ecclesiastical bondage, or disturbing doubts, to find the way of light and liberty in a rational religious faith. To what extent I have succeeded or failed, only the future and my readers can determine. If you have derived any benefit from it; if I have been able to cast any ray of light along your pathway; if it has helped you to solve any problem that has perplexed you, I am fully repaid for the labor of writing it. I have not said nearly all that is in my heart, nor all I would like to say, but all the compa.s.s of this work would permit. But if I have stirred up in the mind of the reader a desire to know more of the questions so briefly discussed herein, and to press his investigations further for this purpose, I have little doubt as to what will be the ultimate result.

And just one more thing, dear reader: If this book has been of any benefit to you; if it has helped to clear up any doubts in your mind, and point the way toward light and liberty in your own life and experience, may it not do as much for others? It may be the saving of a life from Bondage to Liberty; to that ”peace that pa.s.seth understanding,” in a rational religious faith, based, not upon dogma or creed, but upon man's fundamental nature and need, interpreted and applied by that highest and best light that man has, ENLIGHTENED REASON, for the same G.o.d who is the Author of Religion is also the Author of Reason.

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