Volume Ii Part 23 (2/2)
”You need not care a rush for them now, Geoffrey, you are beyond the reach of their malice. Moncton is not aware of the return of Walters.
This circ.u.mstance will be a death-blow to his ambitious hopes. How devoutly they must have wished you in Heaven during your illness.”
”At one time, I almost wished myself there.”
”You were not too ill to forget your friend, Geoffrey,” and he rose and pressed my hand warmly between his own. ”How can I thank you sufficiently for your disinterested kindness. By your generous sacrifice of self you have made me the happiest of men. I am now on my way to Elm Grove to meet one, whom I never hoped to meet in this world again.”
”Say nothing about it, George. The sacrifice may be less disinterested than you imagine: I no longer regret it, and am heartily glad that I have been instrumental to this joyful change in your prospects. But why, my good fellow, did you conceal from me the name of the beloved.
Had you candidly told me who the lady was, I should not have wounded by my coldness a dear and faithful heart.”
”Your mind was so occupied by the image of Kate Lee that I dared not.”
”It would have saved me a deal of misery.”
”And destroyed our friends.h.i.+p.”
”You don't know me, George; honesty would have been the best policy, as it always is, in all cases. I could have given up Kate when I knew that she loved, and was beloved by my friend. Your want of candour and confidence may have been the means of destroying Margaretta Moncton.”
”Do not look so dreadfully severe, Geoffrey. I admit that truth is the best guide of all our actions. It was my love for you, however, which led me to disguise the name of Catherine Lee. You don't know what a jealous fellow you are, and at that time you were too much excited and too ill to hear the truth. What I did for the best has turned out, as it sometimes does, quite contrary to my wishes. You must forgive me, Geoffrey. It is the first time I ever deceived you, and it will be the last.”
He took my hand and looked earnestly into my face, with those mild, melancholy eyes. To be angry long with him was impossible. It was far more easy to be angry with myself; so, I told him that I forgave him from my very heart, and would no longer harbour against him an unkind thought.
I was still far from well, low-spirited and out of humour with myself and the whole world. I felt depressed with the mysterious and unaccountable dejection of mind, which often precedes some unlooked-for calamity.
In vain were all my efforts to rouse myself from this morbid lethargy.
The dark cloud which weighed down my spirits would not be dispelled. I strove to be gay; the laugh died upon my lips or was choked by involuntary sighs. George, who was anxiously watching my countenance, rose and walked to the window; and, tired of my uneasy position on the hard, crazy, old sofa, and willing to turn the current of my thoughts from flowing in such a turbid bed, I followed his example.
We stood for a while in silence, watching the groups which occasionally gathered beneath the archway of the little inn, to discuss the news of the village.
”You are not well, Geoffrey. Your journey has fatigued you. Lie down and rest for a few hours.”
”Sleep is out of the question in my present feverish state. I will resume my journey.”
”What, in the face of the storm which is rapidly gathering! Do you see that heavy cloud in the north-west?”
”I am not afraid of thunder.”
”It has a particular effect upon some people. It gives me an intolerable headache, hours before it is even apparent in the heavens.
To this cause I attribute your sudden depression of spirits.”
I shook my head sceptically.
”Then, do tell me, dear Geoffrey, what it is that disturbs you?”
”My own thoughts. Do not laugh, George. These things to the sufferer are terrible realities. I am oppressed by melancholy antic.i.p.ations of evil. A painful consciousness of approaching sorrow. I have experienced this often before, but never to such an extent as to-day.
Let me have my own way. It is good for me to combat with the evil genius alone.”
<script>