Part 18 (2/2)
Billy would have fallen asleep if he hadn't been so aware of the woman in his arms. He wanted to be sure she was all right. He wanted to know he'd brought her pleasure.
He wanted to be sure she had no regrets.
He waited until his breathing and hers had slowed and separated their bodies. At long last, he opened his eyes and found her staring back at him. With wonder. And fulfillment.
”We should be getting back to the house,” he said.
She lowered her gaze and bit her lip, then looked into his eyes and said, ”Billy, we need to talk.”
He felt like jumping up and running. He didn't want to hear what she had to say. Before he could move, she leaned forward and kissed his lips, gently and sweetly, and said, ”Please, Billy.”
He sighed in resignation. If she was going to leave him, there was nothing he could do to stop her. ”All right, talk,” he said brusquely. ”What is it you want to say?”
”You need to talk with your mother.”
When he tried to object, she put her fingertips against his lips.
”Please listen to me. She wants to apologize. She wants to-”
He grabbed her wrist and moved her hand away from his mouth. ”What difference can it possibly make?” he said. ”It's all over and done with. She can't change the past any more than I can.”
”She can say she's sorry.”
”Then what?”
”You forgive her, so she can die in peace.”
Billy snorted. ”Why should I?”
”Because she's your mother, and you love her,” Summer said.
”Have you forgiven your mother for what she did to you?”
Summer looked startled. ”What do you mean?”
”For having an affair with another man and conceiving you with him. For letting Blackjack believe you're his daughter. For letting you believe it. And for admitting the truth when she knew it would hurt you.”
”I...”
”I'll forgive my mother when you forgive yours.” Billy rose and reached for his pajama bottoms and dragged them on, then threw his jeans over his shoulder. She dragged on her pink undies.
He picked up her torn T-s.h.i.+rt and handed it to her. ”Sorry about that. Maybe it can be mended.”
”I'll throw it away and get-” Summer stopped and stared at him, stricken. She could no longer afford to throw things away and buy new.
”I'll mend it,” she mumbled.
He grabbed her hands and pulled her onto her feet, then took the T-s.h.i.+rt and stuck her arms in the holes, dressing her as though she were Will's age, then pulling the two sides together in front. ”I'm sorry,” he said. ”I'm sorry I got you into this.”
She leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed him on the mouth, her lips a little damp and incredibly soft. ”I knew exactly what I was doing, Billy,” she said. ”And I'm not sorry. So there.”
”I'm glad,” he said. ”Thank G.o.d you're taking birth control pills. At least we don't have to worry about you getting pregnant.”
She blanched. ”Uh-oh.”
”That doesn't sound good.”
”I only started taking pills because I was going to marry Geoffrey. I brought them with me because I thought I'd finish the month, but when you said it wasn't going to be a real marriage, I stopped taking them.”
”So where does that leave us?”
She shrugged. ”I have no idea.”
Billy shook his head. ”I never should have come out here with you.”
”It's not that bad.”
”Not that bad? I've seen how unhappy you are, Summer. I know you want out of this marriage. The last thing I want to do is get you pregnant!”
”I'm not sorry we did this,” she said, her temper flaring. ”And if you are-”
He pulled her close and pressed her cheek against his chest. ”You were wonderful. Tonight was a memory I won't forget. But we can't do this again, Summer. We can't be taking chances. I already have one kid I can barely afford to support. And your father's cut you off, so-”
”I can get a job-”
”Who'll take care of Will and my mom? We have to be realistic-”
”It's too hard-”
He pushed her an arm's distance away, grasping her shoulders so tightly he saw her wince. ”Life is hard. The sooner you understand that the better.”
Summer jerked herself free and snarled, ”Fine. We won't do this again. I wouldn't want to add to your burdens by getting pregnant.”
She turned and headed for the door.
”Summer,” he called after her.
She stopped but didn't turn around.
”Being with you was wonderful. Tonight was a memory I won't forget.”
She angled her head to look at him over her shoulder and said, ”Unfortunately, neither will I.”
Chapter 11.
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