Part 8 (2/2)

She wrenched her head around to look at him. ”Don't. I'm not your sweetheart. I'm another man's wife. And you have a wife of your own.”

He hadn't even realized he'd used the endearment. He met her gaze and saw that what he'd been thinking ever since he'd heard that she'd lost the baby was mirrored in her tortured eyes. How capriciously the G.o.ds play with mortals. How unkind fate is.

She was free now. But he was not.

He saw something else in her gaze, something greater than regret. And suddenly knew what was causing her so much pain.

Guilt.

Maybe, like him, she'd wished that Jesse's child had never been conceived-and regretted her thoughts as much as he regretted the words he'd uttered aloud. Maybe she believed some prayer she'd spoken in the depths of her despair had been answered in this awful way. What if she'd later realized how much she'd wanted her child? And G.o.d had punished her for those earlier, uncharitable thoughts by taking it from her.

He didn't dare ask. He didn't want to know. It was disturbing enough to see her in such anguish.

His heart was thumping in his chest. He wished he could tell her that he'd never stopped loving her, that he still wanted her. But he had a wife. And maybe a child of his own on the way.

Ren's eyes welled with tears, and he watched as she gritted her teeth to still the quiver in her chin. ”You should leave,” she said. ”Jesse will be back soon.”

She was right. He had no business being here. She was another man's wife. He'd already let her go once. He had to leave her alone. He had to forget about her and go on with his life.

”I wish...” He could have bitten off his tongue when he saw the despair in her eyes as she stared up at him.

The sob seemed to be torn from someplace deep inside her. She tried to turn on her side away from him but cried out in pain and grabbed for her ribs. Blackjack lifted her upright, and her arms groped for his neck and held on tight as she buried her face in the crook of his shoulder.

He felt his heart swell with emotion as he listened to her m.u.f.fled sobs of grief. He kissed her temple, murmuring what comfort he could, realizing as he held her close-for what might be the very last time-that the loss of this child would force them apart every bit as surely as its birth would have done. Knowing Ren, she would never forgive herself for wanting him when she was pregnant with Jesse's child.

”What the h.e.l.l are you doing here?”

Ren jerked backward at the sound of Jesse's voice, crying out as her ribs protested.

Blackjack pulled her close again to spare her the pain of holding herself upright. He turned to face the man who'd married the woman he loved. ”I heard Ren was hurt. I came to see for myself.”

”Get away from my wife,” Jesse said, crossing into the room, headed straight for him.

”Jesse, please,” Ren cried.

Blackjack saw her face had been robbed of what little color it possessed. She looked frightened and ashamed. It was the shame that angered him.

She was struggling against his hold and whimpering with the pain it was causing her. He let her go and watched as she wrapped her arms around her ribs and held herself tight, as though she might splinter into pieces if she did not. Her eyes were squeezed closed, and her teeth bit hard on her lower lip.

He felt Jesse's hand grab at his shoulder and shrugged it off as he stood and confronted the other man. ”We can talk outside,” he said.

”We'll talk right here.”

Blackjack glanced over his shoulder at Ren. Her eyes were closed, but she could hear just fine. He didn't want her hurt any more than she already was. For her sake, he had to placate her husband.

”There's nothing between me and Ren,” he said.

”Right,” Jesse said, his lips twisted in scorn. ”She told me what happened between you two-after she cried out your name at the wrong time.”

He could see Ren from the corner of his eye. Her eyes were open now and wary, her face suddenly flushed. With mortification? With humiliation? How dare her husband reveal what must have been a very private-and awkward-moment between them?

He could understand Jesse's animosity better. But he wondered just how much of the story the other man knew. Whether she'd told him how they'd made love at the pond, and what a shattering experience it had been for both of them. How they'd spent the rest of the afternoon loving one another, when there had been no question of who he was. That he'd known even then that he wanted to spend his life with her. And that she'd known even then that she was pregnant with Jesse's child.

The child she had lost.

”What happened between Ren and me is in the past,” Blackjack said. ”I'm married now.”

”Then what are you doing here making love to my wife?”

”I came to offer my condolences and-”

”And to see if she'd be your wh.o.r.e again?”

”Watch your tongue,” Blackjack said, as adrenaline pumped through his veins. ”She's your wife.”

”And your lover!” Jesse accused.

Before he could reply, he heard another female cry-this time from beyond Jesse's shoulder. Jesse turned at the sound, and Blackjack saw Eve pressed against the doorjamb, her eyes stricken. He felt his stomach cramp as he realized the disaster his visit here had wrought.

”Eve, I-”

She didn't give him a chance to explain, simply whirled and ran.

He turned his anger on Jesse. ”I could kill you for that.”

”I only spoke the truth,” Jesse said stubbornly. ”You're a lowdown, wife-stealing-”

”See to your wife,” Blackjack said abruptly. ”She needs you.” He resisted the urge to vent his anger in violence, as he shoved his way past Jesse and went in search of his wife.

The promising start of his marriage had been spoiled. His wife, it turned out, was pregnant with his eldest son Trace. He hadn't seen Ren again for a long time, and when he had, she'd avoided looking at him. Her husband had remained jealous ever after. And though Eve had professed to love him, even after what she'd heard, her laughter had disappeared.

Over the years, though he'd never so much as spoken to Ren, Eve's resentment of the other woman had grown. He'd felt frustrated, unable to convince his wife that he had nothing to do with Lauren Creed. He'd spent nearly every night of his marriage in his wife's bed, but that one mistake had never been forgotten... or forgiven.

Four years ago, Eve had asked her lover-his own foreman-to hire someone to murder Ren. The gunman had mistaken his mark, and Jesse Creed had been killed instead.

Leaving Ren a widow and free to marry him.

Well, not quite free. Jesse had pa.s.sed on his animosity for all things Blackthorne to his children. Surprisingly, their two girls had ended up marrying two of Blackjack's boys. But he was going to have to find a way to make peace with her two sons. Otherwise, there could be no future for him with this woman.

No, he wasn't at all sure that he and Ren would end up together. But he had to try. The rest of his life would be infinitely long and lonely without her.

Blackjack felt his breath catch as the rising sun hit Ren's face through the kitchen window, illuminating her beauty. Nothing can keep me away from you now, he thought. Nothing and n.o.body.

”Mom? Are you in there? Are you all right?”

Blackjack saw the terror in Ren's eyes as she glanced toward the screen door. ”That's Sam.”

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