Part 76 (2/2)

Baker smiled with admirable composure, and replied with crafty moderation, ”He is a gentleman, and believes every word he says; but it is all his delusions. Why, to begin, sir, his father has nothing to do with putting him in here; nothing on earth. (Alfred started; then smiled incredulous.) And, in the next place, there are no instruments of restraint here, but two pair of handcuffs and two strait jackets, and these never hardly used; we trust to the padded rooms, you know. And, sir,” said he, getting warm, which instantly affected his p.r.o.nunciations ”if there's a hinsect in the ouse, I'll heat im.”

Delusion is a big word, especially in a mad-house; it overpowers a visitor's understanding. Mr. Vane was staggered. Alfred, whose eager eyes were never off his face, saw this with dismay, and feeling that, if he failed in the simpler matter, he should be sure to fail in establis.h.i.+ng his sanity, he said with inward anxiety, though with outward calmness, ”Suppose we test these delusions?”

”With all my heart,” said Vane.

Baker's countenance fell.

”Begin with the instruments of restraint. Find me them.”

Baker's countenance brightened up; he had no fear of their being found.

”I will,” said Alfred: ”please to follow me.”

Baker grinned with antic.i.p.ated triumph.

Alfred led the way to a bedroom near his own; and asked Mr. Baker to unlock it. Baker had not the key; no more had Cooper. The latter was sent for it; he returned, saying the key was mislaid.

”That I expected,” said Alfred. ”Send for the kitchen poker, sir: I'll soon unlock it.”

”Fetch the kitchen poker,” said Vane.

”Good gracious! sir,” said Cooper; ”he only wants that to knock all our brains out. You have no idea of his strength and ferocity.”

”Well lied, Cooper,” said Alfred ironically.

”Fetch _me_ the poker,” said Vane.

Cooper went for it, and came back with the key instead.

The door was opened, and they all entered. Alfred looked under the bed.

The rest stood round it.

There was nothing to be seen but a year's dust

Alfred was dumb-foundered, and a cold perspiration began to gather on his brow. He saw at once a false move would be fatal to him.

”Well, sir,” said Vane grimly. ”Where are they?”

Alfred caught sight of a small cupboard; he searched it; it was empty.

Baker and Cooper grinned at his delusion quietly, but so that Vane might see that formula. Alfred returned to the bed and shook it. Cooper and Baker left off grinning; Alfred's quick eye caught this, and he shook the bed violently, furiously.

”Ah!” said Mr. Vane, ”I hear a c.h.i.n.k.”

”It is an iron bedstead and old,” suggested Baker.

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