Part 21 (1/2)

Chelsea felt as though she'd been slapped in the face, but Kevin barreled on. ”Abby wanted grandchildren as much as I did, and you had plenty of opportunity to do it the right way. Instead you waited and waited. Is it time that got to you? Did you get desperate? Or did you just lose sight of what's right and what isn't? Did we teach you anything? For G.o.d's sake, Chelsea, what's going on in your mind?” Her insides were trembling. Yes, he was conventional, she had known that all her life. Still, there was the matter of the baby. ”Aren't you at all excited?”

”How can I be excited? You're living in the last place on earth where I want you to be, and now you're pregnant. I've lost you.”

* ”No, you haven't. I'll be back and forth as much as before. By next June I may be back in Baltimore for good.”

”You'd allow that?” Kevin asked Judd. ”If it was what she wanted, we'd work something out.”

Chelsea made a face at Judd. ”What are you talking about?”

”Is she refusing to marry you?” Kevin asked. ”We're still has.h.i.+ng that out,” Judd replied. The light suddenly dawned. ”Whoa,” she said, and backed away from both men. ”Whoa,” she said more forcefully, and glared at Judd. ”What do you think you're doing?” He reached for her.

”Chelsea-”

440 The Pa.s.sions Of chchwa KOM She took another step back and held up her hand. 0. ”It's for the best.”

”No. ” She faced her father. ”There's been a misunderstanding here, thanks to your narrow-mindedness and Judd's misguided attempts to deal with it. This baby isn't his. It's Carl's.”

”Carl's. ” Her insides had settled some. She felt an odd surge of strength. ”Carl and I were together just once. It was at the very end, a last-ditch effort to make things work. By the time I found out I Was pregnant, not only was Carl with Hailey, but she was pregnant, too.

That was why they got married so fast. And that was why I didn't go to the wedding.” Kevin looked dumbstruck. ”Carl's?”

”I'm not sorry he married Hailey. She's much better for him than I would have been.” She scowled at Judd. ”The. last thing I want is to be married simply for the sake of a child.” To Kevin she said, ”I haven't told Carl about the baby because there's no point. Someday he'll know, someday when it won't'be as risky to tell him. I've always loved Carl as a friend, Now he's given me something very beautiful, at least it's beautiful to me. It won't be to him, because it'll tick Hailey off and complicate their lives if I let it. I can't do that.” Her strength began to wane. ”That's one of the reasons I moved to Norwich Notch. I couldn't be there with Carl every day. I couldn't let him see what was happening to me.”

”He'd have divorced her,” Kevin argued. ”Tom and Sissy would have insisted on it.

He'd have married you.”

”I don't want that,” she cried in frustration.

”Dad, listen to me. Carl and I don't love each other that 441 way. I've been trying to tell you that for months, and you refuse to hear me. We were lousy as lovers. The spark wasn't there. If we had gotten married, it would have only been a matter of time before we resented the marriage and each other, and the baby. It's much better this way. I'm much happier.” Kevin stood before her with his coat still on, his shoulders slumped, his arms hanging helplessly by his sides, and a bewildered look on his face. ”I really am happier,” she said, and produced a watery smile. ”And I really am looking forward to having the baby. I'd be looking forward to it even more if I felt you were, too.” Knowing that she'd said all that was important, and that if she stayed she would burst into tears, she whispered, ”I'm tired,” and left the room. Night had fallen when she ventured back. There were no voices to draw her, only a single lamp in the living room, mirroring itself in the large windows that overlooked the sea. Judd was slouched in a corner of the sofa. His chin came up when her reflection appeared in the gla.s.s. ”Where is he?” she asked softly. ”Gone.” She had been afraid that would happen, but, lying in the dark of the bedroom, she hadn't known how to keep him.

Crossing the living room to the window, she put her forehead to the gla.s.s. A great emptiness filled her. She and the baby were diminutive in its midst. When Judd's arms came around her, she didn't fight. She needed the solace too badly to care what he thought of her. Turning in his arms, she buried 442 The Pa.s.sions of cheisen K=w against his shoulder and started to cry. She't meant to, but the tears just came, and there no stopping them. She clutched handfuls of his er, hanging on for dear life to the only subal source of comfort that existed in her world then..He didn't speak. He barely moved his arms. He held her tightly while she cried. In time her tears slowed. Her breathing grew less ow, with only the occasional shudder. You can go of him now, she told herself, but she didn't e The circle of his arms was a luxury that she n t ready to throw off yet. -'Sorry about that,” she whispered, turning her cheek to his chest. ”He hurts me so.” ”That's what I told him. I also told him other ,”things that maybe I shouldn't have. I may have ased him away.”

”No. He left because of me.” Her throat constrict- She gave it a minute before she spoke again. ”It's ,@@been like this nearly since Mom died. I think he looks at me and remembers her. I think he'd be happy to have us change places.”

”No,” Judd said, smoothing strands of hair from her temple. ”I don't think he loves me anymore.

Maybe he never did. He never liked the idea of adopting a child. It was Abby who wanted it. Given that they couldn't have their own, he would probably have been content going through life with none.”

”He loved you, Chelsea.”

”Not enough.”

”Enough to survive your teenage years.”

”Mom was there then. She was the buffer. With Mom gone, it's like there's nothing left.” 443 AW&Mv Deungaly ”No. It's Norwich Notch. And the baby. He needs time to adjust.” Chelsea wanted to believe that. She wanted to believe that Kevin would come around. ”I want him to be there on the baby's first birthday, and second birthday, and third birthday, but I doubt he'll even come when it's born.”

”He needs time.”

”Well, I don't have time,” she cried. ”I'm pregnant, d.a.m.n it, and this baby keeps growing. It isn't going to wait around to be born until Dad wises up.

What is wrong with him?” Judd made a soothing sound. He combed her hair back with a steady hand. With the other he held her close. She let out a breath. When she took in a new one, she gathered a bit of him along with it. She loved his smell. It was fresh, faintly citrus, outdoorsy, male.

She had missed it. ”So what do I do? Do I keep trying? Do I invite him for Thanksgiving? Or do I bow out of his life and let him forget that he ever adopted a daughter?”

”Never that,” Judd stated. ”Maybe it's what he wants.”

”You wouldn't be saying that if you'd been here before. He was agitated. People who don't care don't get agitated. He needs you more than ever now that your mother's dead, but he wants you on his terms. He wants you to follow his rules.”

”I've never done that well. So where does that leave me? I want family. Holidays are meant for family, and we're approaching that season. I don't want to be alone.”

”You won't be.

If you don't do anything with Kevin, you can spend the holiday with Leo and me.” 444 The Faswons of Chelsea Amm thelsea raised her head. She hadn't forgotten -he'd said to Kevin, the way he'd been willing to responsibility for her baby, the way he'd Rmplied he would marry her if she wanted. She I dn't believe he would actually go as far as that-it a pretty dumb suggestion-still, the gesture uched her deeply. Cautiously she said, ”Are we ends, then?” Judd wasn't a smiler, which was why the tiny movement at the corner of his mouth was so pre- ... cious. ”We're friends.”

”Are you still angry at me for being pregnant?”

”Yes. But that 's okay. We can still be friends. If Thanksgiving comes and you don't have other plans, you'll celebrate the holiday with us. Dad loved your apple pie, crisp crust and all. Try pumpkin, and even if he doesn't remember another thing In his life, he'll love you forever.” The scene with Kevin notwithstanding, the weekend in Newport was just what Chelsea needed. She slept for hours, ate plenty once she started, and found a comfortable companion in Judd. She wasn't so naive as to think things wouldn't change once ' they returned to the Notch and the demands of their lives recommenced. But this was a welcome vacation. She hadn't had one like it in months. It was just as well that she relaxed then, because she hadn't been back at Boulderbrook for five mink utes when she knew something was amiss. She walked into her bedroom and immediately noticed things out of place. ”Someone's been herei” she said, and yelled for Judd, who called Nolan, who arrived at the farmhouse soon after. 445 Deffasky Chelsea led them both into the bedroom. ”Someone was here while I was gone. Someone's been handling my things. See those pictures on the dresser? I arrange them just so. It's a quirk. But they're out of place. Same thing with the books by the bed. I always put the one I'm reading on top, but it's not there now. And my portfolio? I always stand it up with the monogram facing out. It's been reversed.”

”Was the door locked when you came home?” Nolan asked. ”Locked solid,” Judd answered.

”No sign of forced entry.”

”But someone's been here,” Chelsea insisted.

She could feel it, could smell it. It was devastating. ”Is anything missing?” Nolan asked as he walked around, taking note of what was where, checking the windows for broken latches, the floor for something that might have been dropped. ”The only thing of any substantial monetary value wasn't touched,” Chelsea told him. That was Abby's ruby ring, which she kept in a small locked box in her sweater drawer. She had looked for it the instant she'd come in. Seeing that it hadn't been taken, she hadn't looked farther. It occurred to her to do so now..

Judd took over with Nolan. ”Any lead on who might have cut the phone line?” Chelsea opened the jewelry box on the dresser where she kept her everyday things. Nothing looked to be missing. ”We got a footprint,” Nolan said. ”A man's work boot, size twelve narrow. There are a hundred guys in town who wear twelve narrow work boots. I went walking through the Comer asking questions, but I 446 The Pa.s.sions Of Chelsea Kane more concern than anything else. Chelsea's pressed them. They like what she did for the veys. They credit her with saving the granite pany.” Chelsea opened the small rolltop desk that she'd ked up at a garage sale. She checked the drawers ide. Pa.s.sport, Neiman Marcus charge card, misellaneous papers-all were intact. ”I checked out our known troublemakers,” Nolan as saying as she turned to the night table, ”but hey've got alibis.” He scratched the back of his ead. ”This one's a strange one. We've got mysterius midnight calls, a truck running on the shoulder @,of the road at dawn, clipped telephone lines, a barn burning, and now a break-in with nothing stolen.” ”Something's been stolen,” Chelsea said. Heart -,pounding, she pushed things around inside the drawer, to no avail. Crushed, she looked at Judd. ”My key. It's gone.”

Judd wanted Chelsea to stay at his house, but she refused. She loved Boulderbrook. She wanted to be there. She refused to be chased from her own home. Besides, Judd had to concentrate on Leo. She did agree to have Buck stay with her for a while. He would let her know if there was a prowler about. She also agreed to draw a picture of the silver key for Nolan. The loss of the key devastated her, as did Kevin's continued silence. In the days following their confrontation in Newport, she kept hoping that he would calm down and rethink what he'd said, but he didn't call. Neither did the conveyer of children's voices, which was unfortunate, since the phone 447 Barbara Deunsky company had put a tap on the line. Whoever had been calling was shrewd. Either that, or whoever it was had tired of old pranks and was finding satisfaction dreaming up new ones. She kept wondering what he'd do next. So did Judd, which was one nice thing about her dilemma. He kept an eye on her, and although there were times when Chelsea wanted more, times when the lump in her belly couldn't divert her mind from the more private, hotter knot deep inside, the frustration of that was a small price to pay for being his friend. Donna had plans for Thanksgiving. She'd had them pretty much since Labor Day and had become more committed to them after Chelsea's experience with Kevin in Newport. She had a fight on her hands, she knew. Change didn't come easily to the Farrs. But they owed her a favor.

They owed her do. zens of favors, given all she put up with from Matthew.

She wasn't asking for a divorce, just a favor, and she didn't care if Farr holidays were sacred. She had paid in blood for the right to invite four extra people to dinner. Lucy Farr was the one to approach. A stiff-backed woman with a humorless disposition, she had spent the prime of her life just as Donna was doing, helping her husband run the store.

Never a leader, she was the kind of follower who could do well almost any task a.s.signed her. As was the case each November, her a.s.signment was the planning, preparation, and presentation of Thanksgiving dinner. She and Donna had an odd relations.h.i.+p. They weren't friends in the sense of enjoying one another's company, but they shared a mutual respect. 448 'be Pa.s.sions of Chel ”M ame imagined that Lucy sympathized with the work she did, having done it herself for so Donna also imagined that Lucy sympathized what Donna put up with from Matthew, though older woman never said a word, and Donna rstood why. Lucy was Matthew's mother. Her .ance by rights lay with him, regardless of how [email protected] urbing that was. As Donna saw it, two things in life gave Lucy pleare-her grandchildren and the crafts purchases e made for the store. For that reason Donna ose to approach her on a day when she returned ... dth an armload of wool scarves that had been and-loomed by a weaver in Peterborough. The arves were exquisite. Lucy was pleased. ”Very definitely the front window,” she told nna. ”You'll see to it?” Donna liked the scarves and could envision the isplay. ”Tomorrow morning,” she half signed, half poke, which was how she and Lucy communicated. he method was a compromise evolving. from .'s reluctance to sign and Donna's to speak. It rked.

”They'll be good for Christmas gifts. Lucy? ave you started making arrangements for anksgiving dinner?” ”Not yet,” Lucy said. ”It's still a month off.”

”How many are comine.” By Donna's calculations there would be thirty.

Lucy confirmed it. She looked up from the carves. ”Why do you ask?”

”I was wondering if I could invite a few friends.” Lucy frowned.

”Friends?” It wasn't that she didn't Inow what friends were, simply that Farrs-by-marrir -e didn't usually ask to bring them to Farr events.

donna pushed on, using alternately her hands 449 ffarbam Dehmpjw and her voice. ”Chelsea Kane is alone. She's important to the Notch. We should invite her.” ”Chelsea Kane is pregnant,” Lucy said with a stern look. ”All the more reason to have her. She's pregnant, and she has no family here.” Donna hurried on, afraid she would lose her nerve if she didn't. ”I want to invite Judd and Leo, too. And Nolan.” Lucy regarded her in disapproving silence. ”Any others?” she finally asked. Donna signed no. Lucy took another scarf from the bunch and examined its weave. ”You know I can't do it.”