Part 14 (1/2)

”You're always up there.”

”I would have been with you in Newport on the Fourth.”

”You should have spoken up before I made plans.”

”If I hadn't been afraid of being turned down, I would have.” Stalemated, they stared at each -other. She finally let out a breath and turned apologetic eyes to Judd. ”Im sorry,” she murmured. ”I didn't mean this to happen.” ”Obviously,” Judd said. He was still trying to absorb the fact that she'd been born in the Notch. It was the missing link all right. The fact that he'd had to learn it from Kevin, rather than Chelsea, made him livid. ”You're angry,” she said a while later. She was shaken. Not only had the dinner with Kevin ended badly, but the drive back to the condo with Judd had been made in utter silence. She felt as though all she had feared and tried to avoid were about to come true. He tossed his blazer to a chair. ”d.a.m.n right I'm 312 'be P89WOns Of Chcisea Kme Why didn't you tell me?” au se I didn't think it was relevant.” @k:.'.'Wou didn't?” He hooked his hands on his hips er w an ncredulous stare. It was what @!--,.Al*jpught you to the Notch.”

nown about Plum Granite if ”Plum Gruaindinte't bhraovueghkt me there.”

wo hadn't been nosing around the Notch, and you have been nosing around the Notch if you been born there. How much more relevant anything be?”

He was right, he was right, but that was only half didn't story. Trying to stay calm, she said, ”I ' it was relevant to our relations.h.i.+p. My biologihistory is a private thing.” d what we do isn't?” He straightened, actually his back as though the added distance from might help him see things more clearly. ”You're me at night, totally naked, totally open, totally t In your s.e.xuality-and you are that, Chelsea. -s one of the things that turns me on. So am I miss- something here? Is all that just an animal nse to a chemical attraction? I thought we'd .4. C beyond that. I thought were friends”

”.e are,” she cried. Hearing him talk about their ations.h.i.+p, about it being more than just s.e.x, to the urgency she felt. She had to make him 3 v., erstand. ”But we didn't start off that way. At the ning it was all physical. Somewhere it changed. Aon't know where it did, but it did. Suddenly we friends, and you didn't know something basic bar '*Wes ut me, and I didn't know how to tell you.” I You're as articulate as any woman I've ever Aill -But this was different!” she argued. ”Telling you 313 Barbwa Demnsky about it would have been telling you that I hadn't been completely honest, and I didn't know how you'd respond to that. I was afraid you'd be angry. It looks like I was right.” ”I'm not angry. I'm hurt. I thought you trusted me.”

”I do.”

”Not enough to tell me something very important about yourself.” ”I do,” she said more quietly, and felt a twisting inside. ”I do trust you.” She held her breath, then let it out slowly. ”It's just that I don't want things to change.”

”Why would your being born in the Notch change anything?” His eyes were dark, begrudging. ”It sure as h.e.l.l won't ease the ache I get in my gut every time I look at you.”

”Something else might,” she whispered. She swallowed, buried her hands under her arms for the comfort of it, then forced -the words out because she felt she owed him that. ”I'm pregnant, Judd. It happened at the beginning of May, the one time I was ever with Carl. By the time I knew it for sure and went to tell him, he and Hailey had decided to get married. She was already pregnant.”

”Pregnant?” The word echoed. ”You're pregnant? r” Dumbly he looked at her stomach. She felt a touch of hysteria. ”I didn't plan for us to happen. I didn't expect it at all. I didn't think pregnant women were capable of feeling the things you make me feel.” His eyes met hers. ”You're pregnant?” Her heart was in her throat. She tried to swallow it down, but it stayed right there. So she simply nodded. 314 Me Pa.s.sions of OWSea Kmw that from me, too?” His deep voice was th disbelief. ”Didn't feel it was relevant D-id you think it'd just go away?” e it sound so absurd that she felt doubly :,for not telling him sooner. expect us to last. What we had was just By the time it was more, I was feeling like a nt to tell you. I kept telling myself to do voice shrank. ”I'd have told you soon. I have had any choice.”

!shed still, he looked at her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, then Then he pushed a hand through his hair away. ”s.h.i.+t.” ' affect you, Judd,” she said quickly.

”If thinks it's yours, I'll set them straight.” e to the window and looked out over the @@ralsed her voice to carry across the room. doesn't know. I don't know how to tell him but putting a wedge between Hailey and him. ,,@,Ifather doesn't know, either. He wanted me to ',ty Carl.

He'll be disappointed. Then. he'll tell and then Carl's parents. It'll be a mess.” e hadn't planned to say all that. Judd wouldn't any answers.

He barely knew the people and besides, it wasn't his problem. ut she didn't know what to do. She needed help. e continued to stand at the window with his s on his hips and his back to her. She could see Aension in his shoulders and wanted to cry. ' time, she tried to reach him.

e best thing seemed to be to leave Baltimore, : was Norwich Notch, just waiting. The tim- rfect. I was sure that meant something. So ked up and moved. No one knew me there. It 315 Barbara Delfilmw was like a haven. I found the farmhouse and bought the Pathfinder. I met you and Donna and Hunter. I figured that I could give birth to my baby and find out who my birth parents were, and then decide what to do and where to go at the end of the year.” Her voice crinkled and shrank. ”I never meant to deceive you. I didn't tell you the first time, because I wanted you so badly. Maybe I was wrong. But I'm not sorry. I'm sorry you're hurt, but I'm not sorry for the time we've had. I'd do it again, Judd.

I'd do it again in a minute, if that was the only way to have what we've had. It's been good.” Her voice caught. Afraid she would burst into tears, she left him alone in the living room, which was where he spent the night. He was silent through the return trip to Norwich Notch, dropped her at Boulderbrook, then went on home. At least, she a.s.sumed he went on home. She didn't know for sure. He didn't come to her that night or the next, and he didn't stop by the office in between. Then the weekend came. It was endlessly lonely. By Monday morning she was beginning to regret she'd ever set eyes on Judd Streeter. 316 HELSEA KNEW HIS FOOTSTEPS. SHE HAD HEARD coming toward her in the dark of night over planked floor of her bedroom often enough to ize their sound on the spiral stairs. Stay cool, told herself. Still, her senses came alive.

[email protected],.'Uh-huh,” she said into the telephone. ”That's t. It's t6p-quality white granite, and yes, we can uc. e the amount you need.”

Judd's dark head e first, then broad, chambray-covered shoul- 1.6m, a lean torso, hips and legs gloved in denim. ' don't you come up and take a look? We're ng an open house on the weekend of September nth, but the quarries are operational six days a You're more than welcome to come whenevshe held up a finger to Judd. Her eyes lingered [email protected] his tall frame when he went to the far window. ”If Ow'd like specifics, I'll have our foreman give you a Wh don't you give me your number.” She jot- y It down, wrote ”Judd” at the top, and underlined P., ce. ”Alex Lappin is a fine developer. I'm flat- ed by his recommendation.” Judd tucked his ds in the back of his jeans. She wasn't sure what Barbara Delhzsky The Pa.s.sions of Cbelsen Kane that meant. ”The pleasure is mine.” Her own palms were damp. ”I'll look forward to it.” She hung up the phone, flattened her hands on her middle, and sat back on the chair. When Judd didn't turn, she said, ”That was a man named Phillip Bundy. He's an architect from Hartford. He's been hired to design the first of a series of megabanks, the rebirth of several failed banks now merged into one.

He's interested in the white from Haskins Peak. He'll be giving you a call.” Judd hung his head. She wasn't sure what that meant, either.

Anxious for him to know that she wasn't angry, that she could understand if he didn't want to touch her again, that what had happened between them wouldn't affect the business, she said as brightly as she could, ”I also heard from the Roskins Group. They want prices for a resort they're putting up on Cape Elizabeth.” ”Why a resort in this economy*” Judd asked in the kind of impa.s.sive voice that she'd first known him for-which meant that they were back to square one in their relations.h.i.+p.

She deserved it, she knew. Still, her heart fell. Needing greater effort to produce that bright voice, she said, ”People want to travel, just not as far as they used to. Cape Elizabeth is accessible. The facility is also being designed for conventions. Accessibility is a draw there, too.”

”Who's Alex Lappin?”

”A friend. I worked for him after I graduated from college. When it was clear that I wanted to draw, he hooked me up with an architectural firm. I worked as a draftsman there before I went to design school.” 318 ed for him to say something more. She his direction, some hint of his thoughts. What do you think?” she asked.

”Will an open wo [email protected] e rk?” He was silent. Then, ”Never been done before.' ”But do you think it will work?” -K. wgz,@-, Again he was silent. Then, ”Depends on who es. 7:: She sighed. Unable to help herself, she said, *Ahhh. We're in our Norwich Notch mode of speech ..., %[email protected],[email protected] I can understand why tradition is so big It would require such an effort to produce the s to express something new that by the time words were out, the idea would be pa.s.s6.” More ly she said, ”Talk to me, Judd.” e made a strangled sound and shook his head. w about to take that as a refusal when he niutred a bewildered, ”Why didn't I see it? Your ts are full. So's your waist.”

”Many women have full b.r.e.a.s.t.s and not-so-nar. waists. You didn't know me before. You had no basis for comparison.” He shook his head again. ”I should have seen it.”

my ou w ere too close.”

”You never had a period. I should have ques-- #oned that.”

”We haven't been together every night. Last time ..,:Iwas in Baltimore, I was gone for three nights. For all you knew, I had my period there.” He turned then, an imposing figure silhouetted by the window, and in a tight voice said, ”Were you planning to tell me it was Carl's?”

”Of course! The problem was telling you I was regnan t at all, not that it was Carl's. I'm not hamed of what Carl and I did. We were trying to V. 319 Barbwn Deffnmw make something work, with the absolute best of intentions. All things considered, I had more business being with Carl than I had being with you.” His gaze was relentless, his eyes hard as stone. ”You could have let me think it was mine.- ”I'd have gotten too fat too fast. The baby is due at the beginning of February.

You'd have known.”

”Babies have been known to be born prematurely.” She followed his thinking and shook her head, appalled. ”I would never have led you on that way. I'm not looking for a father for my child. I don't want one. I don't need one. I have the time and means to raise a child.

I also have the desire.” She gave a short laugh and grew momentarily introspective., ”That was the biggest surprise, I think. All these years I haven't wanted to have children. Then the doctor said I was pregnant, and suddenly the idea that I would have something alive, my own flesh and blood for the very first time in my life, was so ... comforting ... that I knew that even if the baby came out with all sorts of congenital problems, I'd want it.” . opens a whole other can of worms,” Judd announced, and came toward her reeking of anger. ”What gives you the right to come up here saying you're one thing and being another? Why the games? Have you gotten your kicks pulling a fast one on us? Does it tell you you're smarter than we are? Or better?” She held his gaze. ”No. All it says is that I want to know who I am and where I'm from, but that I don't know how to go about learning all that.”

”Why don't you just ask?”

”Who? I was born here thirty-seven years ago and given up for adoption.

That's no easy thing for a 320 The Paswons of Chelsea Apme her to do.”

She opened her hand on her storn- I can't even feel this baby moving yet, but if I re to carry it to term, give birth to it, and then er see it again, I'd be crushed.” Tile thought e brought tears to her eyes.

”People don't give flesh of their flesh because they want to. They do they have to, and there's almost always -N involved.” ow do you know?” he demanded. 11 ow because I've read nearly everything that's n written on the subject,” she said, feeling sudly stronger. No one could accuse her of not Ing h r homework or, worse, halfheartedly Al using the cause. ”What I don't know is why my h mother had to give me up and what kind of she suffered in the process. I don't know if she single or married, young or old, rich or poor. I is, Know if she was hidden away in the Corner, her baby in secret, then squirreled it off with no .4.w the wiser-or if she was tarred and feathered, : a pariah, like Hunter's mother-or if she a Farr, Jamieson, or Plum who conceived out of lock, spent her pregnancy in a bedroom in one the houses overlooking the green, then had me sked off because I was an embarra.s.sment to the ily.”

,.'J.-Barely allowing for a breath, she said, ”Where ld you have me start asking? People don't hand private information unless they trust you, and Notchers aren't quick to trust. I've been waiting ,.:people to warm to me, but that isn't happening. re aren't any records of my birth, my father saw -that. The local lawyer who handled the adoption ead, and the midwife was paid to be silent. All I she said, s.p.a.cing the words in frustration, 321 Nwham Dehnshy ”is that I was born in Norwich Notch.

The only material thing that I have of my birth parents is a silver key that was sent to my mother years ago. There was no note, and there's been no contact since. What would you have me do, hang that key on a string around my neck and wait for someone to claim it?”

”At the rate you're going,” Judd said, folding his arms over his chest, ”you could hang the queen's jewels on a string around your neck and no one will notice. The only thing they'll see is that belly of yours once it starts to swell. Do you have any idea what it'll be like to be an unwed mother in Norwich Notch? It'd be one thing if you were from the Corner. People expect girls from the Corner to get knocked up. But here on the green?

No way.” Chelsea rose slowly to face him. If he wouldn't understand, then he was no better than the townsfolk. She would fight them all, if she had to. ”What will they do,” she asked, ”stone me? Set me up on a scaffold in the center of town with a scarlet letter on my breast? That won't happen. I may have been born a n.o.body here and sent away for it, but I'm not a n.o.body coming back. This town needs me right now. Its fate lies with the granite company, and the granite company's fate lies with me. If I'm treated poorly because I'm pregnant, I'll turn around and leave.”

”And take a major loss on your investment?” Judd barked out a humorless laugh. ”Come off it.”

”You don't understand me at all, do you?” she asked, disappointed but not surprised. As intimate as they'd been physically, they had never shared hopes and dreams, loves and hates, highs and lows. ”My driving force in life is not to make money.

If it 322 The Pa.s.sions of Chatsm K=w rd devote full time to managing my portfolio, er than spending endless hours at a drafting I draw because I love to draw. I love the chalof creating a building. When I make financial tments, it's for the challenge of it, too. I don't the money.

I never have. Call that arrogant, if '. Call it wasteful, or decadent. But if I were iturn my back on Norwich Notch today and lose penny I've put into this project, I could live the results. Can the same be said for the peol . who live here?” ..ZYA-fr' -They didn't ask for your money.” 4”,,”No. But without it, without the granite company, 9d be in dire straits.' ”;You're the local savior, then?”

”o. I'm just the one with the money. That gives a certain amount of power.” She took a breath, Ispered, ”G.o.d, I hate that word,” and went on. t it ent.i.tles me to do things other people might do. Ofiver, Emery, and George monopolize the ber shop every morning, and lio one says boo. nter bombs around on the Kawasaki without ng picked up for disturbing the peace.

Jamieson Is win the Miss. Norwich Notch contest every even though other entrants may be prettier more talented. So Chelsea Kane is pregnant. ' her right. Anyone who chooses to punish her -it better be prepared for the consequences.”

”'He stared at her for the longest time. She stared t back but saw no softening in him. ,.,.,Gonna announce that in church?”