Part 5 (1/2)
You're too busy doing your own thing. You always have been. And now there's this fascination t town in New Hamps.h.i.+re. If you want a with tha house so badly, why don't you buy one up there?” Chelsea felt her throat tighten, reducing the . words to little more than a pleading whisper. ”I don't want a house up there. Let's not fight about it, Dad.”
”Well, it's the problem. That's what didn't work between you and Carl.
You're obsessed with that place.” She shook her head. ”Not true.”
”You're buying a business there.”
”It's an investment.”
”And a pretty poor one, from what Carl tells me. He says that's all you talk about.”
”Not true at all,” she declared. ”I make a point not to talk about it with Carl. I don't know why he told you that.” She put a quick hand on Kevin's arm. ”This is an investment. He chose not to join me in it, so I'm doing it alone. The deal is for a year. It's something new and exciting for me, just like your retirement is something new and exciting for you. Aren't I ent.i.tled to that, too?”
”You have a profession here.”
”I need more.”
”You always did. That's the trouble.”
”Maybe, but, if so, it's the way I am, and if, after 109 all, this time, Carl decides he doesn't like it, that'ss his problem.. ”It's your problem, too. You lose out.” She shook her head. ”I'm okay. I'm okay.” Kevin studied her-sadly, she thought, and wanted to cry-for another while before sighing. ”I wish I could believe that. But I worry, Chelsea.”
”Don't.
Please. I'm okay.”
”If your mother were alive, she'd be able to talk some sense into you.”
”I'm okay. Really I am. What I'm doing makes perfect sense to me. I wish I could make you understand.” But she couldn't. Things hadn't been the same between her father and her since Abby had died. Maybe they had never been what she had wanted to think they were. As with the Mahlers, Abby had been the link, the buffer, the interpreter of feelings and motivations. With Abby gone, Kevin had no patience with Chelsea. There were times when she felt he was distancing h iimself from-everything that reminded him of Abby, including her. At those times she felt abandoned. She tried to explain it to Cydra the next morning. They were running in the rain; she was feeling correspondingly gloomy. ”It's like the house money is a bribe to buy his freedom. Like if he gives it to me he won't feel guilty traveling all the time. I told him I didn't want the money. I told him I wouldn't take it. So he said if I didn't, he'd give it to the Mahlers. It was the one thing he knew I couldn't bear.”
Cydra chuckled, pulled her soggy baseball cap lower on her forehead, and ran on. ”Did I tell you they made me an offer for the ring?” Chelsea asked. ”It was absurdly high.” A payoff, pure and simple. 110 ift Pa.s.sions of Chelsea Amiw ”Are you selling?” g.” After sever-No way. That was my mother's rin their al strides she said, ”if I was perverse, I'd take money and use it to buy the granite company, slap them in the face with my birthplace.” Cydra grinned. ”It'd be poetic justice.”
”Except that I really do want the ring. It has priceless sentimental value.”
”Will they accept that?”
”I hope so-” She broke off when a car sped through a puddle and drenched them. They stopped running, Cydra swearing a blue streak at the disappearing car, Chelsea looking in dismay at her mudsoaked self. ”What a jerk.” Cydra continued to swear until Chelsea gave her arm a wet squeeze. ”He's gone. Don't waste your breath.”
”Why couldn't he stop and apologize?” Chelsea twisted rainwater from her ponytail, which hung from the hole in the back of her own baseball cap.
”Maybe he didn't realize what he'd done.” Cydra wrung out the hem of her singlet.. ”You're too forgiving.” Chelsea brushed at her shorts. ”No.
I'm just picking and choosing my fights. A n.o.body driving a car isn't worth the effort of anger when there's so much else going on in my life.
My whole system is screwed up. See this?” She pointed to her chin. ”I can't tell you when I last had a pimple.” Cydra looked closer. ”I don't see any pimple.”
”It's there. Believe me.”
”You're imagining it.”
”Am I imagining waking up five times every night? Or being late for my period?
The rhythm of my body is off.” She tossed her head toward the road.
RMrbwu DCHMWAly Cydra set off beside her. When the slap of their wet running shoes was once again in syncopation, she said, ”I wake up at night, too. I lie in bed wanting a big warm male body and feeling sorry for myself that it isn't there. it's h.e.l.l.” Chelsea thought of Judd Streeter and nearly told Cydra about him. Then she caught herself. Judd was a myth, embarra.s.sing, the more she thought of it ' what do you think of in the middle of the night?” Cydra asked. ”Carl. The library I've designed. Norwich Notch. My dad, my mom, the house. Plum Granite.
And the key, I think about the key. Did I tell you I took it to an expert?” Cydra darted her a surprised look. ”Learn anything new?”
”Just that it's probably one of a kind. She guessed it was Italian made, but she couldn't be sure.” After running in silence for a minute, Cydra said, ”Advertise.”
”Hmm?”
”In publications that reach Norwich Notch. You could put in a picture. See if anyone comes forward.”, I Chelsea had thought of that. Something in the local newspaper might be lost in the rush of the daily read, but there were monthlies, magazines that catered to people who had lost family members, or found artifacts that they wanted identified, or had oddities to trade. The key was indeed an oddity. ”Uh, Chels?”
”Hmm?”
”About the other.”
”What other?”
”Your period. How late are you?” 1 12 nw paswons of Chchwa Kmw Chelsea ran on, concentrating on the slap of her sneakers on the road. ”A few [email protected] *Oh,” Cydra said. ”Okay. That's nothing.” Fxcept that Chelsea was never late, and it wasn't just a day or two, it was five. She had checked the calendar, had counted and recounted to make sure u wasn't a miscalculation on her part. But she was truly five days late. When she stopped to think of why that might be, she started to shake. ”You're not worried, are you?” Cydra asked. ”Of course not. It's just a busy life.
Lots on my mind.” She felt Cydra's glance, then, after several more strides, felt it again. ”You're worried.” It wasn't a question this time. @@,-,”Think you're pregnant?” Chelsea thought of her one not-so-spectacular night with Carl. She couldn't imagine a pregnancy having come from that. She hadn't felt anything special at all. The, time of the month had been right for ,,h, er to conceive, but she still couldn't believe it. They'd done it once, just once. Then again, was it -mere coincidence that she'd had s.e.x for the first time in three years and was suddenly late for her period? ”I don't know,” she finally said, but the answer was an admission that she and Carl had gone all the way-”You finally did it,” Cydra breathed excitedly. ”d.a.m.n it, why didn't you tell me?”
”d.a.m.n it, because it wasn't any of your business.” Cydra grew quiet. Moving closer, Chelsea touched her arm. ”Hey, I'm sorry. I'm a little nervous about this.” They ran on silently for a bit before a more subdued Cydra said, ”It wasn't great, I take it.” 113 Barbara Deunshy The Pagslons or chefwa KOM ”Nope.”
”I knew it wouldn't be. You knew it wouldn't be. That's why you waited. If the chemistry had been right, you'd have done it ages ago. I tell you, letting it go for so long was a sign.” Chelsea agreed. ”You're not getting married.”
”Nope. ”
”Not even if you're pregnant?”
”Nope.” Marrying for the sake of a baby would be nearly as big a mistake as marrying to please their parents. ”Chels?”
”Hmm?”
”How, uh .. Without breaking stride, Chelsea shook rain from her hands. ”Don't [email protected] ”You didn't use anything?” Chelsea scowled. ”But you're so competent.” Cydra might well have been the little voice inside Chelsea that had been scolding her all week. ”We didn't plan on doing it,” she said crossly. ”We weren't prepared.”
”But you're responsible adults!”
”Even responsible adults blow it sometimes.” Cydra made a sound of agreement. ”Have you thought about what you'll do?”
”I don't think I'm pregnant.”
”Why don't you do a test?” They turned down the home stretch, approaching the health club. ”Because I don't think I'm pregnant.”
”How long will you wait to find out?”
”I could get my period tomorrow.” 114 If you don't?” I worry then.” the first of June, the papers for the Plum te partners.h.i.+p were on Bob Mahoney's desk. Plum, anidous for the money they promised, -already signed them. With Chelsea's signature, deal would be final. 0, _'Vhat held her back wasn't Carl's opposition or ', but her own private turmoil. She was definitely pregnant. Her doctor had con- ed it. She didn't feel or look any different than had, but when she thought about the beginnings the baby inside, her mind started to spin. She didn't know what to do about Carl.
She didn't *now what to do about Kevin. She didn't know what do about Norwich Notch. Becoming pregnant n't been in her plans. An abortion was out of the question. As an V,@adoptee, knowing she might well have been @'destroyed once, she couldn't give it a thought. Nor did she consider adoption for long, because as the hours of ago nizing progressed, one thing was clear. F”: She wanted the baby. She hadn't planned to have it, couldn't think of a more awkward situation, given the flatness of her relations.h.i.+p with Carl, but she wanted the baby. It was flesh of her flesh. She wanted it. ”If you want it,” Cydra asked, coming to a dead halt and calling out so that her voice would carry forward, ”what in the devil are you doing running?” Chelsea, too, stopped. ”The doctor said it's okay. Really. I asked.” Cydra was skeptical. ”Are you sure?” 115 Barbara Demnsky ”I want this baby. I wouldn't do anything to harm it.