Part 76 (1/2)
”That's good,” replied Hal half-heartedly.
”Yes, _sir_,” pursued the advertising manager: ”I can smell money in the air to-day. And, by the way, I've got a tip that, for a little mild apology, E.M. Pierce will withdraw both his suits.”
”I'll think about it,” promised Hal. He was rather surprised at the intensity of his own relief from the prospect of the court ordeal. At least, he was getting his price.
McGuire Ellis was, for once, not asleep, though there was no work on his desk when Hal entered the sanctum.
”Veltman's quit,” was his greeting.
”I'm not surprised,” said Hal.
”Then you've seen the editorial page this morning?”
”Yes. But what has that to do with Veltman's resignation?”
”Everything, I should think. Notice anything queer about the page?”
”No.”
”Look it over again.”
Hal took up the paper and scrutinized the sheet. ”I don't see a thing wrong,” he said.
”That lets me out,” said Ellis grimly. ”If you can't see it when you're told it's there, I guess I can't be blamed for not catching it in proof.
Of course the last thing one notices is a stock line that's always been there unchanged. Look at the motto of the paper. Veltman must have chiseled out the old one, and set this in, himself, the last thing before we went to press. How do you like it? Looks to me to go pretty well with our leading editorial this morning.”
There between the triumphal c.o.c.ks, where formerly had flaunted the braggart boast of the old ”Clarion,” and more latterly had appeared the gentle legend of the martyred President, was spread in letters of shame to the eyes of the ”Clarion's” owner, the cynic profession of the led captain, of the prost.i.tuted pen, of all those who have or shall sell mind and soul and honor for hire;--
_”Whose Bread I Eat, his Song I Sing.”_
CHAPTER XXIX
CERTINA CHARLEY
Mr. Belford Couch was a man of note. You might search vainly for the name among the ma.s.sed thousands of ”Who's Who in America,” or even in those biographical compilations which embalm one's fame and picture for a ten-dollar consideration. Shout the cognomen the length of Fifth Avenue, bellow it up Walnut and down Chestnut Street, lend it vocal currency along the Lake Sh.o.r.e Drive, toss it to the winds that storm in from the Golden Gate to a.s.sault n.o.b Hill, and no answering echo would you awake. But give to its ill.u.s.trious bearer his familiar t.i.tle; speak but the words ”Certina Charley” within the precincts of the nation's capital and the very asphalt would find a viscid voice wherewith to acclaim the joke, while Senate would answer House, and Department reply to Bureau with the curses of the stung ones. For Mr. Belford Couch was least loved where most laughed at.
From the nature of his profession this arose. His was a singular career.
He pursued the fleeting testimonial through the mazy symptoms of disease (largely imaginary) and cure (wholly mythical). To extract from the great and s.h.i.+ning ones of political life commendations of Certina; to beguile statesmen who had never tasted that strange concoction into a.s.severating their faith in the nostrum's infallibility for any and all ailments; to persuade into fulsome print solemnly asinine Senators and unwarily flattered Congressmen--that was the touchstone of his living.
Some the Demon Rum betrayed into his hands. Others he won by sheer personal persuasiveness, for he was a master of the suave plea. Again, political favors or ”inside information” made those his debtors from whom he exacted and extracted the honor of their names for Dr.
Surtaine's upholding. Blackmail, even, was hinted at. ”What does it matter?” thought the deluded or oppressed victim. ”Merely a line of meaningless indors.e.m.e.nt to sign my name to.” And within a fortnight advertising print, black and looming, would inform the reading populace of the whole country that ”United States Senator Gull says of Certina: 'It is, in my opinion, unrivaled as a never-failing remedy for coughs and colds,'” with a picture, coa.r.s.e-screen, libelously recognizable.
Certina Charley was not a testimonial-chaser alone. Had he been, Dr.
Surtaine would not have retained him at a generous salary, but would have paid him, as others of his strange species are paid, by the piece; one hundred dollars for a Representative, two hundred and fifty dollars for a Senator, and as high as five hundred for a hero conspicuous in the popular eye. The special employee of Certina was a person of diverse information and judicious counsel. His chief had not incorrectly described him as the diplomat of the trade.
No small diplomacy had been required for the planning of the Emergency Committee scheme, the details of which Mr. Couch had worked out, himself. It was, as he boasted to Dr. Surtaine, ”a clincher.”
”Look out for the medicos,” he had said to Dr. Surtaine in outlining his great idea. ”They're mean to handle. You can always buy or bluff a newspaper, but a doctor is different. Some of 'em you can grease, but they're the scrubs. The real fellers won't touch money, and the worst of 'em just seem to love trouble. Merritt's that kind. But we can fix Merritt by raising twenty or thirty thousand dollars and handing it over to him to organize his campaign against the epidemic. From all I can learn, Merritt has got the goods as a health officer. He knows his business. There's no man in town could handle the thing better, unless it's you, Chief, and you don't want to mix up in the active part of it.
Merritt'll be crazy to do it, too. That's where we'll have him roped.