Part 2 (1/2)
”What do I owe you?” asked Professor Certain, as soon as the door had closed.
”Nothing.”
”Oh, that won't do.”
”It will have to do.”
”Courtesy of the profession? But--”
The other laughed grimly, cutting him short. ”So you call yourself an M.D., do you?”
”Call myself? I am. Regular degree from the Dayton Medical College.” He sleeked down his heavy hair with a complacent hand.
The physician snorted. ”A diploma-mill. What did you pay for your M.D.?”
”One hundred dollars, and it's as good as your four-year P. and S.
course or any other, for my purposes,” retorted the other, with hardihood. ”What's more, I'm a member of the American Academy of Surgeons, with a special diploma from St. Luke's Hospital of Niles, Michigan, and a certificate of fellows.h.i.+p in the National Medical Scientific Fraternity. Pleased to meet a brother pract.i.tioner.” The sneer was as palpable as it was cynical.
”You've got all the fake tr.i.m.m.i.n.gs, haven't you? Do those things pay?”
”Do they! Better than your game, I'll bet. Name your own fee, now, and don't be afraid to make it strong.”
”I'm not in regular practice. I'm a naval surgeon on leave. Give your money to those poor devils you swindled to-night. I don't like the smell of it.”
”Oh, you can't rile me,” returned the quack. ”I don't blame you regulars for getting sore when you see us fellows culling out coin from under your very noses, that you can't touch.”
”Cull it, and welcome. But don't try to pa.s.s it on to me.”
”Well, I'd like to do something for you in return for what you did for my son.”
”Would you? Pay me in words, then, if you will and dare. What is your Vitalizing Mixture?”
”That's my secret.”
”Liquor? Eh?”
”Some.”
”Morphine?”
”A little.”
”And the rest syrup and coloring matter, I suppose. A fine vitalizer!”
”It gets the money,” retorted the other.
”And your soothing, balmy oils for cancer? a.r.s.enious acid, I suppose, to eat it out?”
”What if it is? As well that as anything else--for cancer.”
”Humph! I happened to see a patient you'd treated, two years ago, by that mild method. It wasn't cancer at all; only a benign tumor. Your soothing oils burned her breast off, like so much fire. She's dead now.”