Part 31 (1/2)

”Hardly,” his face was pragmatic.

”And to which school do you belong?” I asked sourly. ”Do you want me to get the cure? Or am I to die miserably while you take tabs on my blood pressure, or do I merely lose an arm while you're sitting with folded hands waiting for the laboratory report?”

”In any case, we'll learn a lot about Mekstrom's from you,” he said.

”Even if you die.”

As caustically as I could, I said, ”It's nice to know that I am not going to die in vain.”

He eyed me with contempt. ”You're not afraid to die, are you, Mr.

Cornell?”

That's a dirty question to ask any man. Sure, I'm afraid to die. I just don't like the idea of being not-alive. As bad as life is, it's better than nothing. But the way he put the question he was implying that I should be happy to die for the benefit of Humanity in general, and that's a question that is unfairly loaded. After all, everybody is slated to kick off. There is no other way of resigning from the universe. So if I have to die, it might as well be for the Benefit of Something, and if it happens to be Humanity, so much the better. But when the case is proffered on a silver tray, I feel, ”Somebody else, not me!”

The next argument Phelps would be tossing out would be the one that goes, ”Two thousand years ago, a Man died for Humanity--” which always makes me sick. No matter how you look at us, there is no resemblance between Him and me.

I cut him short before he could say it: ”Whether or not I'm afraid to die, and for good or evil, now or later, is beside the point. I have, obviously, nothing to say about the time, place, and the reasons.”

We sat there and glared at one another; he didn't know whether to laugh or snarl and I didn't care which he did. It seemed to me that he was leading up to something that looked like the end. Then I'd get the standard funeral and statements would be given out that I'd died because medical research had not been able to save me and blah blah blah complete with lack of funds and The Medical Center charity drive. The result would mean more moola for Phelps and higher efficiency for his operations, and to the devil with the rest of the world.

”Let's get along with it,” I snapped. ”I've no opinion, no vote, no right of appeal. Why bother to ask me how I feel?”

Calmly he replied, ”Because I am not a rough-shod, unhuman monster, Mr.

Cornell. I would prefer that you see my point of view--or at least enough of it to admit that there is a bit of right on my side.”

”Seems to me I went through that with Thornd.y.k.e.”

”This is another angle. I'm speaking of my right of discovery.”

”You're speaking of what?”

”My right of discovery. You as an engineer should be familiar with the idea. If I were a poet I could write an ode to my love and no one would forbid me my right to give it to her and to n.o.body else. If I were a cook with a special recipe no one could demand that I hand it over unless I had a special friend. He who discovers something new should be granted the right to control it. If this Mekstrom business were some sort of physical patent or some new process, I could apply for a patent and have it for my exclusive use for a period of seventeen years. Am I not right?”

”Yes, but--”

”Except that my patent would be infringed upon and I'd have no control--”

I stood up suddenly and faced him angrily. He did not cower; after all he was a Mekstrom. But he did shut up for a moment.

”Seems to me,” I snarled, ”that any process that can be used to save human life should not be held secret, patentable, or under the control of any one man or group.”

”This is an argument that always comes up. You may, of course, be correct. But happily for me, Mr. Cornell, I have the process and you have not, and it is my own conviction that I have the right to use it on those people who seem, in my opinion, to hold the most for the future advancement of the human race. However, I do not care to go over this argument again, it is tiresome and it never ends. As one of the ancient Greek Philosophers observed, you cannot change a man's mind by arguing with him. The other fact remains, however, that you do have something to offer us, despite your contrary mental processes.”

”Do go on? What do I have to do to gain this benefit? Who do I have to kill?” I eyed him cynically and then added, ”Or is it 'Whom shall I kill?' I like these things to be proper, you know.”

”Don't be sarcastic. I'm serious,” he told me.

”Then stop p.u.s.s.yfooting and come to the point,” I snapped. ”You know what the story is. I don't. So if you think I'll be interested, why not tell me instead of letting me find out the hard way.”

”You, of course, were a carrier. Maybe you still are. We can find out.