Part 29 (1/2)

I said hopefully, ”I suppose as a Mekstrom I'll eventually be qualified to join you?”

Thornd.y.k.e looked blank. ”Perhaps,” he said flatly.

To my mind, that flat _perhaps_ was the same sort of reply that Mother used to hand me when I wanted something that she did not want to give.

I'd been eleven before I got walloped across the bazoo by pointing out to her that _we'll see_ really meant _no_, because nothing that she said it to ever came to pa.s.s.

”Look, Thornd.y.k.e, let's take off our shoes and stop dancing,” I told him. ”I have a pretty good idea of what's been going on. I'd like an honest answer to what's likely to go on from here.”

”I can't give you that.”

”Who can?”

He said nothing, but he began to look at me as though I weren't quite bright. That made two of us, I was looking at him in the same manner.

My finger itched a bit, saving the situation. I'd been about to forget that Thornd.y.k.e was a Mekstrom and take a swing at him.

He laughed at me cynically. ”You're in a very poor position to dictate terms,” he said sharply.

”All right,” I agreed reluctantly. ”So I'm a prisoner. I'm also under a sentence of death. Don't think me unreasonable if I object to it.”

”The trouble with your thinking is that you expect all things to be black or white and so defined. You ask me, 'am I going to live or die?'

and expect me to answer without qualification. I can only tell you that I don't know which. That it all depends.”

”Depends upon exactly what?”

He eyed me with a cold stare. ”Whether you're worthy of living.”

”Who's to decide?”

”We will.”

I grunted, wis.h.i.+ng that I knew more Latin. I wanted to quote that Latin plat.i.tude about who watches the watchers. He watched me narrowly, and I expected him to quote me the phrase after having read my mind. But apparently the implication of the phrase did not appeal to him, and so he remained silent.

I broke the silence by saying, ”What right has any man or collection of men to decide whether I, or anyone else, has the right to live or die?”

”It's done all the time,” he replied succinctly.

”Yeah?”

”Criminals are--”

”I'm not a criminal; I've violated no man-made law. I've not even violated very many of the Ten Commandments. At least, not the one that is punishable by death.”

He was silent for a moment again, then he said, ”Steve, you're the victim of loose propaganda.”

”Who isn't?” I granted. ”The entire human race is lambasted by one form of propaganda or another from the time the infant learns to sit up until the elderly lays down and dies. We're all guilty of loose thinking. My own father, for instance, had to quit school before he could take any advanced schooling, had to fight his way up, had to collect his advanced education by study, application, and hard practice. He always swore that this long period of hards.h.i.+p strengthened his will and his character and gave him the guts to go out and do things that he'd never have thought of if he'd had an easy life. Then the old duck turns right around and swears that he'll never see any son of his take the b.u.mps as he took them.”

”That's beside the point, Steve. I know what sort of propaganda you've been listening to. It's the old do-good line; the everything for anybody line; the no man must die alone line.”

”Is it bad?”