Part 4 (1/2)

'ShallIdrive?'Isaidmildly,makingitabsolutelyherownchoice.

Sheputbothherhandsinherlapandlookedstraightoutthroughthewindscreen.Herfacewaspaleabovetheorangedress.

'Ithoughtyouwerebothdead.'

'Iknow.'

'Istillfeelchurnedup.It'ssilly.'

'It'snotsilly.AndIexpectyou'refondofDaveTeller.'

'He'ssentuspresentsandthings,sincewewerelittle.'

'Aniceman.'

'Yes.'Shesigheddeeplyandafterapausesaidcalmly,'Ithinkitwouldbebetter,ifyoureallydon'tmind,ifyoudriveback.'

'OfcourseIwill.'

Wechangedplaces,andwentbacktoLondonwithmorecarspa.s.singusthanwepa.s.sed.AtChiswickroundaboutIsaidIwoulddrivehertoherflatandgoonhomebytaxi,butwithasidewayslaughingglanceshesaidnotaxiwouldstopformeinherfather'sclothes,andthatshewasfeelingbetterandcouldquiteeasilydothelastlapherself:soIrolledroundthefewcornerstoPutneyandstoppedoutsidemyownfrontdoor.

Summerduskfilledthequietstreets.Nooneabout.Lynnielookedoutofherwindowupwardsatthetallhouse,ands.h.i.+vered.

'You'recold,'Isaid,concernedforherbarearms.

'No...Ihaveacardiganintheback...Iwasjustthinkingaboutyourflat.'

'Whatabout.i.t?'

'It'sso...empty.'Shegaveahalflaugh,shruggingitoff.'Well,Ihopeyouwon'thavenightmares,aftertoday.'

'No...'Icollectedmythingsandgotoutofthecar,andshemovedoverintothedriver'sseat.

'Willtheyhavesavedanydinnerforyouatthehostel?'Iasked.

'Notahope,'shesaidcheerfully.'ButIexpectthere'llbesomecakeandmilkabout,thereusuallyis.'

'Wouldyoucaretoeatwithme?Notupthere,'Iaddedhastily,seeingthebeginningsofwell-brought-upsuspicion.'Inarestaurant,Imean.'

'I'vemymothertothankformybeastlymind,'shesaidunexpectedly.'Ireallyamratherhungry,andIdon'tseeatallwhyIshouldn'thavesupperinyourflat,ifyou'vegotanyfood.'Andwithoutmoreadoshegotoutofthecarandlockedit,andstoodexpectantlybesidemeonthepavement.

'Therearesometins,'Isaid,reflecting.'Waitherejustasecond,wouldyou.Ijustwanttohavealookroundtheback.'

'Roundtheback?'

'Forburglars,'Isaidsardonically.ButIwenttolook,asusual,atthepowder-coatedbottomflightofthefireescape.Noonehadbeenupordownallday.

Lynnieclimbedthestairstothefourthflooraseasilyasbefore,andhavingcheckedviaawell-placedpaperclipthatmydoorhadn'tbeenopenedsinceIhadshut.i.tthatmorning,Iputthekeyinthelockandletusin.

Thegreenplasticlampshadeinmysitting-roomscattereditsuncosyglareoverthetidyroom,switchingthesoftgreylightoutsideintosuddenblack,andevokingtheforlornnessofinst.i.tutionbuildingsonwinterafternoons.Itwouldn'tbemuchtrouble,Ithought,togooutandbuymyselfaredshadeinthemorning,andseeifitpropagatedrosythoughtsinstead.

'Sitdown,'Isuggested.'Areyouwarmenough?Switchtheelectricfireonifyou'dlikeit.IthinkI'llgoandchange,andthenwecandecideaboutgoingout.'

Lynnienodded,b.u.t.tookthingsintoherownhands.WhenIcameoutofthebedroomshehadalreadyinvestigatedmymeagrestorecupboardandhadlinedupapacketofsoup,someeggs,andatinofanchovies.

'Soup,andanchoviesonscrambledegg,'shesaid.

'Ifyou'dreallylikethat,'Isaiddoubtfully.

'Ican'tcookmuchelse.'

Ilaughed.'Allright.I'lldothecoffee.'

Therewereburntspecksintheeggswhenshehadfinished,whichharmonizednicelywiththesc.r.a.pedoffoverdonetoastandthebrownanchovystrips,andtherehadbeenaslightoveremphasisonpepper.

'Noone,'shesighed,'isgoingtomarrymeformycordonbleu.'

Therewereplentyofotherreasonswhyshe'dbefendingoffsuitorsknee-deepinayearortwo:acurvyfigure,delicateneck,babyskin;thetouch-me-notexpression,theawakeningsocialcourage,thequickcompa.s.sion.Noonewasgoingtocareifshecouldn'tcook.Butshewasn'tsecureenoughtobetoldsoatthatmoment.

'Whenwereyouseventeen?'Iasked.

'Theweekbeforelast.'

'Youdidn'twastemuchtimepa.s.singthedrivingtest.'

'I'vebeenabletodrivesinceIwaseight.Petercan,too.'Shefinishedhereggsandstirredtwoheapedteaspoonfulsofsugarintohercoffee.'Iwashungry.Funny,that.'

'It'salongtimesincelunch.'

'Aterriblylongtime...'Shesuddenlylookedmestraightintheface,whichshehadmostlybeenavoiding,andwithdevastatinginnocencesaid'I'msogladyou'realive.'

Iturnedahopelesswinceintoalaugh.'I'msogladDaveTelleris.'

'Bothofyou,'shesaid.'Itwastheworstthinginmywholelifewhenyoudidn'tcomeup.'

Achilduntouchedbytragedy,Ithought.Apitytheworldwa.s.sucharoughplace,wouldcatchherbyherprettyneckonedayandtearhergutsapart.Nooneeverescaped.Tohavegottoseventeenunlaceratedwasmerelyamatterofluck.

Whenwehadfinishedthecoffeesheinsistedondoingthedishes,butwhenshehunguptheteatowelIsawallhermother'swarningspourback,andsheglancedatmeandquicklyaway,andstoodstifflyinthecentreoftheroom,lookingnervousandembarra.s.sed.

'Whydon'tyouhaveanypicturesonyourwalls?'shesaidjerkily.

Igesturedtothetrunkinthecorner.'Therearesomeinthere,butIdon'tlikethemverymuch.Notenoughtobotherwithhangingthemup...Doyouknowit'safterten?I'dbettertakeyouhomeorthehostelwillshutyouout.'

'Ohyes,'shesaidingreatrelief,andthenhearingherownvoice,addedinconfusion.'Imean...Ididn'tknowifyouwouldthinkmeveryrude,das.h.i.+ngoffa.s.soonaswe'dfinishedeating.'

'Yourmotherisquiterighttotellyoutobecautious,'Isaidlightly.'LittleRedRidingHoodcouldn'ttellawolffromhergrandmother...andyoucanneverrelyonawoodcutterturningupinthenickoftime.'

Therigiditydissolvedlikemist.'Youdosaysomeextraordinarythings,'shesaid.'Asifyoucouldreadmymind.'

'Icould,'Ismiled.'You'dbetterputthatcardiganon.Itwillbecoldoutside.'