Part 13 (1/2)

”'...Such people,'” he went on but began to kiss her at the same time, ”'...are always pa.s.sive, always fail to move forward at the critical moment ... and always have to be given a shove in the back before they move a step...”' He kissed her neck fervently.

”Pah!” She turned around and slapped him in the face. ”We have a contract! Don't tell me that you want to break it!”

He rose. His face was red. ”I am quitting.”

”Get out, then.” Her tone was sharp.

”But ... you were bored to death and falling asleep yourself.”

”How dare you accuse me of being bored with Mao study! I am not sleepy! You are the problem! Your mind is getting dirtier every day. I am sure you are not here to study Maoism but to enjoy bourgeois indulgence.”

He was insulted. In a quick motion he came and grabbed her shoulders. ”Why did you insist on making us a team if you are so holy? Why? To keep me here for what? For the pleasure of your eyes? What do you want from me? You know, deep down, you know that we are not interested in Mao but in each other. Our difference is that you won't admit it while I do. I am not ashamed of how I feel. You can't deal with your feelings. I guess being a national icon is more important than being yourself ... But why drag me along? Why not let me go? Does it give you pleasure to set my feelings on fire and watch me burn?”

”Evergreen, the truth is”-she took a gasp of air-”that I am not burning any less. We have to learn to conquer our weakness. Together we must help each other.”

”Wild Ginger, you must not ignore the fact that I don't take being a Maoist as the mission of my life.”

”That's not correct, Evergreen. All you need to win is a strong will.”

Losing all patience, he shouted, ”I despise your will! Your preaching reminds me of those who bound the feet of their girls and castrated their boys!”

”What did I do? What harm have I caused you?” she asked tearfully.

”I can't go on with you.” He let her go and turned his face away.

”You've disappointed me.” Her tone was cold.

He tried to stay composed but his emotion betrayed him. His facial muscles began to twitch.

She stood up. Her lips moved as if trying to say something. But no sound came out.

He got up, walked toward her.

She stepped back.

He began to open his s.h.i.+rt, b.u.t.ton by b.u.t.ton.

”What ... what are you doing?” Her syllables slurred.

He gave no answer but unfastened his belt.

Before she turned away, he stepped out of his pants.

”Animal!” She shut her eyes.

He was erect.

”Traitor! Coward!” she shouted.

He jumped on her and pushed her down under his knees.

She struggled, trying to push him away.

He began to rip off her clothes. Her Mao jacket was pulled open.

Inside the closet, I became short of breath. What should I do? Do I jump out to help?

His hands went to explore her body.

She fought fiercely. But she didn't call my name. I was waiting.

She scratched the skin on his neck.

Finally she got a chance and bit his right shoulder.

He groaned. As if inflamed by the pain he was determined to take her.

They rolled on the floor. They were about eight yards away from me. Wild Ginger was pressed down on her back. He was on top of her. His nose was pointing directly at me.

She screamed.

I cracked open the closet door-my subconscious had taken the scream as a signal to act.

He raised his eyes and suddenly he saw me.

I froze.

We were eye to eye. Evergreen and I.

I couldn't move.

He withdrew.

She sat up, not noticing that Evergreen and I had discovered each other.

He sat himself on the floor like a balloon leaking air.

She b.u.t.toned up her clothes and started to fix her hair.

Evergreen got up and put his clothes back on. He went to the water jar and poured himself a bowl of water.

Wild Ginger went to the bathroom behind the wall.

I carefully closed the closet door.