Part 6 (2/2)
”Ah! you cannot. It's impossible!” she answered in a low, hollow voice, all life having left her face. She was sitting in the armchair, leaning forward slightly, with her face still beautiful, but white and haggard.
”If I could explain, then you might find some means to escape, but I dare not tell you. Chance has thrown us together--an evil chance--and you admire me; you think perhaps that you could love me, you--”
”I do love you, Aline!” I burst forth with an impetuosity which was beyond my control, and springing to my feet I caught her hand and pressed it to my lips.
”Ah!” she sighed, allowing the hand to remain limp and inert in mine.
”Yes, I dreaded this. I was convinced from your manner that my fascination had fallen upon you. No!” she cried, rising slowly and determinedly to her feet. ”No! I tell you that you must not love me.
Rather hate me--curse me for the evil I have already wrought--detest my name as that of one whose sin is unpardonable, whose contact is deadly, and at whose touch all that is good and honest and just withers and pa.s.ses away. You do not know me, you cannot know me, or you would not kiss my hand,” she cried, with a strange glint in her eyes as she held forth her small, white palm. ”You love me!” she added, panting, with a hoa.r.s.e, harsh laugh. ”Say rather that you hold me in eternal loathing.”
”All this puzzles me,” I cried, standing stone still. ”You revile yourself, but if you have sinned surely there is atonement? Your past cannot have been so ugly as you would make me believe.”
”My past concerns none but myself,” she said quickly, as if indignant that I should have mentioned an unwelcome subject. ”It is the future that I antic.i.p.ate with dread, a future in which you appear determined to sacrifice yourself as victim.”
”I cannot be a victim if you love me in return, Aline,” I said calmly.
”I--love you?” She laughed in a strange, half-amused way. ”What would you have? Would you have me caress you and yet wreck your future; kiss you, and yet at the same moment exert upon you that baneful power which must inevitably sap your life and render you as capable as myself of doing evil to your fellow-men? Ah! you do not know what you say, or you would never suggest that I, of all women, should love you.”
I gazed at her open-mouthed in amazement. Such a speech from the lips of one so young, so beautiful, so altogether ingenuous, was absolutely without parallel.
”I cannot help myself. I love you all the same, Aline,” I faltered.
”Yes, I know,” she replied quickly, with that same strange light in her eyes which I had only noticed once before. At that instant they seemed to flash with a vengeful fire, but in a second the strange glance she gave me had been succeeded by that calm, wistful look which when we had first met had so impressed me.
The idea that she was not quite responsible for her strange speeches I scouted. She was as sane as myself, thoughtful, quick of perception, yet possessing a mysteriousness of manner which was intensely puzzling.
This extraordinary declaration of hers seemed as though she antic.i.p.ated that some terrible catastrophe would befall me, and that now the influence of her beauty was upon me, and I loved her, the spell would drag me to the depths of despair.
”A woman knows in an instant by her natural intuition when she is loved,” she continued, speaking slowly and with emphasis. ”Well, if you choose to throw all your happiness to the winds, then you are, of course, at liberty to do so. Yet, if you think that I can ever reciprocate your love you have formed an entirely wrong estimate of my character. One whose mission it is to work evil cannot love. I can hate--and hate well--but affection knows no place in my heart.”
”That's a terrible self-denunciation,” I said. ”Have you never loved, then?”
”Love comes always once to a woman, as it does to a man,” she replied.
”Yes, I loved once.”
”And it was an unfortunate attachment?”
She nodded.
”As unfortunate as yours is,” she said, hoa.r.s.ely.
”But cannot I take your lover's place?” I bent and whispered pa.s.sionately. ”Will you not let me love you? I will do so with all my heart, with all my soul.”
She raised her fine eyes to mine, and after a moment's pause, added--
”I am entirely in your hands. You say you love me now--you love me because you consider my beauty greater than that of other women; because I have fascinated you.” And sighing she slowly sank into her chair again. Then she added, ”You wish me to be yours, but that I can never be. I can be your friend, but recollect I can never love you--never!”
Then, putting forth her white hand she took mine, and looking into my face with a sweet, imploring expression, she went on--
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