Part 22 (1/2)
”Excuse me, you guys, I should take this.”
I felt Theo watching me, wondering. He didn't even know who Sam was, but it was probably pretty easy to figure out that he was someone important to me. And that was still the case, no matter what had happened at his apartment, no matter what our status. Sam would always be important to me.
I gave Theo a smile, then I took the phone in the hallway and answered it. ”Hey,” I said.
”Hey,” Sam said back.
We were silent. I walked down the hallway of the villa and into the breakfast room. It was a lonely room at that moment, only one weak lamp lighting the yellow wood tables and the blue plates stacked on a side table.
”So,” Sam said. ”How are you?”
”Well...” I sat down at one of the tables, put my elbows on its painted yellow top. What should I say? I'm freaking out right now, because I just got chased by some guys with guns, but other than that I'm peachy. ”It's been a little tumultuous.”
”Yeah, I know what you mean.” Sam exhaled. ”I've been so d.a.m.ned sad since I saw you. I mean, I feel like...I don't know...We broke up a while ago, but for some reason I feel like the other night...I guess I felt like that was...”
”Yeah, I know. For some reason it felt like that was it.” I swallowed hard, fought back a rush of tears.
Sam sighed again. ”I love you, Iz.”
”I love you, too.”
More quiet. The rain tapped, tapped, tapped on the windows.
”So what have you been up to?” Sam asked.
I paused, then ignored his question and instead spoke what was on my mind. ”We would have been married right now,” I said. ”And now we're down to this. Down to small talk.”
He said nothing. I said nothing. I think we both knew what the other was thinking. I was thinking that the reason we weren't married right now was Sam's fault, and he was thinking that although he'd done some things that were tough to get over, I should have gotten over them, and therefore, it was my fault.
But we'd had that conversation ninety-seven times before, so I just said, ”I'm in Italy.”
”You're kidding? That's great. What made you decide to go there?”
”I wanted to ask my aunt Elena some questions about my dad. And after seeing you at your apartment, I decided I needed a vacation.”
”Jesus, Red Hot, I'm so sorry about that.”
Red Hot was what Sam had always called me when we were dating. Now the nickname, coming from his lips, sounded wrong, awkward. ”I'm sorry,” he continued, ”that you had to see Alyssa.”
The image of her flashed across my brain, then returned to stab me a million times. ”Yeah, me, too.”
”I don't know how in the h.e.l.l that happened.”
I laughed. It sounded bitter. ”You don't know how that happened? You're dating your ex. You let her sleep in my T-s.h.i.+rt. That's how that happened.”
”Izzy, you're the one who stopped by without calling.”
”Yeah, Sam, because that's what we always used to do. I know we're broken up, but I didn't know I had to be careful of that.” I said that as if I were saying the worst word possible. And Sam knew that in my world, Alyssa was the worst thing I could have seen in his apartment.
Sam started to say something then stopped, then tried again. ”Look, I'm really sorry. But I'm not going to apologize for dating her. You and I are broken up. But it killed me that you had to see that.”
There was a pause. Neither of us knew what to say.
Finally Sam spoke. ”So who are you with in Italy?”
”Maggie's here.”
”And who else?”
Sam knew me so well. He knew when I was leaving something out.
”Well...” How to say this?
At that moment Theo appeared in the hallway outside the breakfast room. He looked at me with raised eyebrows, as if wondering if I was all right. He held up a thumb and gave a questioning expression. I nodded and returned the thumbs-up. I'm okay, I mouthed.
As Theo turned away, Sam spoke again. ”So who else are you with? Charlie?”
”No. I asked Charlie to come. But he's got a job.”
Sam coughed as if he was choking, then laughed. ”Charlie has a job?”
”I know, I know. I couldn't believe it, either. It's at WGN, the radio station.”
”Incredible.”
”I know.”
”So who are you with then?” He never was able to leave any detail unresolved behind when we were dating, and apparently he wasn't going to break that habit now.
”He's a friend of mine.”
Through the silence, I could almost hear Sam stewing.
”Who is he?”
In our life together I'd never wished that Sam and I had known each other less, had understood each other less, but now that's exactly what I wished for. I really didn't want this conversation. ”It's just someone I'm dating.”
”Huh. I guess I don't have to feel so bad about Alyssa.”
”I don't know about that. I wouldn't have had this person come to Italy if I hadn't seen what I'd seen in your apartment.”
”So it's my fault?”
”There is no fault here. He's a friend and he's visiting me. That's all.”
”What's his name?”