Part 41 (2/2)

”No,” I say, pulling papers from my satchel. ”I talked to Missus Stein this morning.” I tell her everything I know, about the deadline, about ”The Pile.”

”Alright, so . . .” Aibileen is counting days in her head, the same way I have been all afternoon. ”So we got two and a half weeks stead a six weeks. Oh Law, that ain't enough time. We still got to finish writing the Louvenia section and smooth out Faye Belle--and the Minny section, it ain't right yet . . . Miss Skeeter, we ain't even got a t.i.tle yet.”

I put my head in my hands. I feel like I'm slipping underwater. ”That's not all,” I say. ”She . . . wants me to write about Constantine. She asked me . . . what happened to her.”

Aibileen sets her cup of tea down.

”I can't write it if I don't know what happened, Aibileen. So if you can't tell me . . . I was wondering if there's someone else who will.”

Aibileen shakes her head. ”I reckon they is,” she says, ”but I don't want n.o.body else telling you that story.”

”Then . . . will you?”

Aibileen takes off her black gla.s.ses, rubs her eyes. She puts them back on and I expect to see a tired face. She's worked all day and she'll be working even harder now to try to make the deadline. I fidget in my chair, waiting for her answer.

But she doesn't look tired at all. She's sitting up straight and gives me a defiant nod. ”I'll write it down. Give me a few days. I'll tell you ever thing that happened to Constantine.”

I WORK FOR FIFTEEN HOURS straight on Louvenia's interview. On Thursday night, I go to the League meeting. I'm dying to get out of the house, antsy from nerves, jittery about the deadline. The Christmas tree is starting to smell too rich, the spiced oranges sickly decadent. Mother is always cold and my parents' house feels like I'm soaking in a vat of hot b.u.t.ter.

I pause on the League steps, take in a deep breath of clean winter air. It's pathetic, but I'm glad to still have the newsletter. Once a week, I actually feel like I'm a part of things. And who knows, maybe this time will be different, with the holidays starting and all.

But the minute I walk in, backs turn. My exclusion is tangible, as if concrete walls have formed around me. Hilly gives me a smirk, whips her head around to speak to someone else. I go deeper into the crowd and see Elizabeth. She smiles and I wave. I want to talk to her about Mother, tell her I'm getting worried, but before I get too close, Elizabeth turns, head down, and walks away. I go to my seat. This is new, from her, here.

Instead of my usual seat up front, I slip in the back row, angry that Elizabeth wouldn't even say h.e.l.lo. Beside me is Rachel Cole Brant. Rachel hardly ever comes to meetings, with three kids, working on her master's in English from Millsaps College. I wish we were better friends but I know she's too busy. On my other side is d.a.m.n Leslie Fullerbean and her cloud of hairspray. She must risk her life every time she lights a cigarette. I wonder, if I pushed the top of her head, would aerosol spray out of her mouth.

Almost every girl in the room has her legs crossed, a lit cigarette in her hand. The smoke gathers and curls around the ceiling. I haven't smoked in two months and the smell makes me feel ill. Hilly steps up to the podium and announces the upcoming gimme-drives (coat drive, can drive, book drive, and a plain old money drive), and then we get to Hilly's favorite part of the meeting, the trouble list. This is where she gets to call out the names of anyone late on their dues or tardy for meetings or not fulfilling their philanthropic duties. I'm always on the trouble list nowadays for something.

Hilly's wearing a red wool A-line dress with a cape coat over it, Sherlock Holmes-style, even though it's hot as fire in here. Every once in a while, she tosses back the front flap like it's in her way, but she looks like she enjoys this gesture too much for it to really be a problem. Her helper Mary Nell stands next to her, handing her notes. Mary Nell has the look of a blond lapdog, the Pekingese kind with tiny feet and a nose that perks on the end.

”Now, we have something very exciting to discuss.” Hilly accepts the notes from the lapdog and scans over them.

”The committee has decided that our newsletter could use a little updating.”

I sit up straighter. Shouldn't I decide on changes to the newsletter?

”First of all, we're changing the newsletter from a weekly to a monthly. It's just too much with stamps going up to six cents and all. And we're adding a fas.h.i.+on column, highlighting some of the best outfits worn by our members, and a makeup column with all the latest trends. Oh, and the trouble list of course. That'll be in there too.” She nods her head, making eye contact with a few members.

”And finally, the most exciting change: we've decided to name this new correspondence The Tattler. The Tattler. After the European magazine all the ladies over there read.” After the European magazine all the ladies over there read.”

”Isn't that the cutest name?” says Mary Lou White and Hilly's so proud of herself, she doesn't even bang the gavel at her for speaking out of turn.

”Okay then. It is time to choose an editor for our new, modern monthly. Any nominations?”

Several hands pop up. I sit very still.

”Jeanie Price, what say ye?”

”I say Hilly. I nominate Hilly Holbrook.”

”Aren't you the sweetest thing. Alright, any others?”

Rachel Cole Brant turns and looks at me like, Are you believing this? Are you believing this? Evidently, she's the only one in the room who doesn't know about me and Hilly. Evidently, she's the only one in the room who doesn't know about me and Hilly.

”Any seconds to . . .” Hilly looks down at the podium, like she can't quite remember who's been nominated. ”To Hilly Holbrook as editor?”

”I second.”

”I third.”

Bang-bang goes the gavel and I've I lost my post as editor. goes the gavel and I've I lost my post as editor.

Leslie Fullerbean is staring at me with eyes so wide, I can see there isn't anything back there where her brain should be.

”Skeeter, isn't that your your job?” Rachel says. job?” Rachel says.

”It was was my job,” I mutter and head straight for the doors when the meeting is over. No one speaks to me, no one looks me in the eye. I keep my head high. my job,” I mutter and head straight for the doors when the meeting is over. No one speaks to me, no one looks me in the eye. I keep my head high.

In the foyer, Hilly and Elizabeth talk. Hilly tucks her dark hair behind her ears, gives me a diplomatic smile. She strides off to chat with someone else, but Elizabeth stays where she is. She touches my arm as I walk out.

”Hey, Elizabeth,” I murmur.

”I'm sorry, Skeeter,” she whispers and our eyes hang together. But then she looks away. I walk down the steps and into the dark parking lot. I thought she had something more to say to me, but I guess I was wrong.

I DON'T GO STRAIGHT HOME after the League meeting. I roll all the Cadillac windows down and let the night air blow on my face. It is warm and cold at the same time. I know I need to go home and work on the stories, but I turn onto the wide lanes of State Street and just drive. I've never felt so empty in my life. I can't help but think of all that's piling on top of me. I will never make this deadline, my friends despise me, Stuart is gone, Mother is... I will never make this deadline, my friends despise me, Stuart is gone, Mother is...

I don't know what Mother is, but we all know it's more than just stomach ulcers.

The Sun and Sand Bar is closed and I go by slow, stare at how dead a neon sign seems when it's turned off. I coast past the tall Lamar Life building, through the yellow blinking street lights. It's only eight o'clock at night but everyone has gone to bed. Everyone's asleep in this town in every way possible.

”I wish I could just leave here,” I say and my voice sounds eerie, with no one to hear it. In the dark, I get a glimpse of myself from way above, like in a movie. I've become one of those people who prowl around at night in their cars. G.o.d, I am the town's Boo Radley, just like in To Kill a Mockingbird. To Kill a Mockingbird.

I flick on the radio, desperate for noise to fill my ears. ”It's My Party” is playing and I search for something else. I'm starting to hate the whiny teenage songs about love and nothing. In a moment of aligned wavelengths, I pick up Memphis WKPO and out comes a man's voice, drunk-sounding, singing fast and bluesy. At a dead end street, I ease into the Tote-Sum store parking lot and listen to the song. It is better than anything I've ever heard.

. . . you'll sink like a stone For the times they are a-changin'.

A voice in a can tells me his name is Bob Dylan, but as the next song starts, the signal fades. I lean back in my seat, stare out at the dark windows of the store. I feel a rush of inexplicable relief. I feel like I've just heard something from the future.

At the phone booth outside the store, I put in a dime and call Mother. I know she'll wait up for me until I get home.

”h.e.l.lo?” It's Daddy's voice at eight-fifteen at night.

”Daddy . . . why are you up? What's wrong?”

”You need to come on home now, darling.”

The streetlight suddenly feels too bright in my eyes, the night very cold. ”Is it Mama? Is she sick?”

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