Part 48 (1/2)
The result of this conversation was a _conversazione_, which certainly was on a much better scale, and better attended than the one collected by Doctor Feasible. Doctor Plausible had pumped a mutual acquaintance as to the merits of his rival, and had set to work with great diligence.
He ordered his carriage, and for two or three days previous to the one fixed, went round to all his friends, who had curiosities, foreign, indigenous, or continental, admired them, talked learnedly, expressed a wish to exhibit them to several gentlemen of talent at his next conversazione, pulled out a card for the party, and succeeded in returning home with his carriage stuffed with curiosities and monstrosities.
Negus and cherry-water were added to tea in the refreshment-room; and the conversazione of Doctor Plausible was p.r.o.nounced by those who had been invited to both, infinitely superior to that of Doctor Feasible. A good-natured friend called upon Doctor and Mrs Feasible with the news.
They pretended indifference, as they bit their lips to conceal their vexation. As soon as he took his leave--
”Well, my dear,” said Mrs Feasible, ”what do you think of this? Very unhandsome on the part of Doctor Plausible! I was told this morning that several of our acquaintances have expressed a wish to be introduced to him.”
”We must not give up the point, my love. Doctor Plausible may make a splash once; but I suspect that his horses eat him out of house and home, and interfere very much with the butcher's bills. If so, we who keep no carriage can afford it better. But it's very annoying, as there will be an increase of expense.”
”Very annoying, indeed!” replied the lady. ”Look at his card, my dear, it is nearly twice as large as ours. I begged it of Mr Tomkins, on purpose to compare it.”
”Well then, my dear, we must order others, and mind that they measure an inch more than his. It shall cost him something before we have done, I'm determined.”
”You heard what Mr Smithson said? They gave negus and cherry-water.”
”We must do the same. I've a great mind to give ices.”
”Oh! my love, remember the expense.”
”Very true; but we can ice our negus and cherry-water. Rough ice is only two-pence a pound, I believe.”
”Well, that will be an improvement.”
”And there shall be more, or I'll be in the Bench,” replied the Doctor in his wrath.
The next _conversazione_, for which cards were issued by Doctor Feasible, was on a superior scale. There was a considerable increase of company. He had persuaded a country baronet; secured the patronage of two ladies of rank (with a slight blot on their escutcheons), and collected, amongst others, a French count (or adventurer), a baron with mustachios, two German students in their costumes and long hair, and an actress of some reputation. He had also procured the head of a New Zealand chief; some red snow, or rather red water (for it was melted), brought home by Captain Ross; a piece of granite from the Croker mountains; a kitten in spirits, with two heads and twelve legs, and half-a-dozen abortions of the feathered or creeping tribes. Every thing went off well. The two last fees he had received were sacrificed to have the party announced in the Morning Post, and Doctor Feasible's triumph was complete.
But it was not to last long. In ten days Dr Plausible's cards were again issued, larger than Doctor Feasible's, and with a handsome embossed border of lilies and roses. Male attendants, tea and coffee, ices and liqueurs were prepared; and Dr Feasible's heart failed him, when he witnessed the ingress and egress of the pastrycooks, with their boxes on their heads. Among his company he had already mustered up five celebrated blues; four ladies of quality, of better reputation than Dr Feasible's; seven or eight baronets and knights; a bishop of Fernando Po; three or four general officers; and a dozen French and German visitors to the country, who had not only t.i.tles, but wore orders at their b.u.t.ton-holes. Thus far had he advanced when he met Newton Forster, and added him to the list of the invited. In about two hours afterwards Dr Plausible returned home to his wife, radiant with smiles.
”My dear, who _do_ you think has promised to come to-morrow night?”
”Who, my love?”
”Prince Fizzybelli!”
”You don't say so?” screamed the lady with her delight.
”Yes, most faithfully promised.”
”What _will_ the Feasibles say?” cried the lady;--”but--is he a real prince?”
”A real prince! O yes, indeed is he! well known in Tartary.”
”Well, Dr Plausible, I have good news for you. Here is a note from Mr H---, in answer to yours, in which he promises you the loan of the wax figure from Germany, of a female in the first stage of par--partu--I can't make out the word.”
”Excellent! most excellent!” cried the doctor, rubbing his hands; ”now we _shall_ do.”
Newton, who had some curiosity to see a _conversazione_, which to him was a _terra incognita_, did not fail to go at the appointed hour. He was ushered up stairs into the drawing-room, at the door of which he was received by Mrs Plausible, in blue and silver. The rooms not being very large, were extremely crowded, and Newton at one moment found himself jammed against some curiosity, and at another treading on the toes or heels of people who accepted his apologies, looking daggers; and with a snarling, ”don't mention it.”
But a thundering knock at the door was followed by the announcement of his Highness Prince Fizzybelli--Prince Fizzybelli at the door--Prince Fizzybelli coming up--Prince Fizzybelli (enters).