Part 4 (1/2)

So saying, the master of the house took Mr. Won't-Leave inside and they both went into the kitchen, while the mistress of the house, at the command of her husband, pretended to be ill.

Now Mr. Won't-Give was a good liver, and prepared, with the a.s.sistance of Mr. Won't-Leave, several good dishes. And then the difficulty was to drive the fellow out, for the long-maintained rule of never feeding a single Brahman must not be broken that day. So, when the cooking was all over, the master of the house gave to Mr. Won't-Leave a kasu (copper coin), and asked him to bring some leaves from the bazar (for plates), and he accordingly went. Mr. Won't-Give, meanwhile, came to his wife, and instructed her thus:--

”My dearest wife, I have spared you the trouble of cooking to-day. Would that we could get such stupid fools as this every day to cook for us! I have now sent him out to fetch us some leaves, and it won't look well if we shut our doors against him or drive him away; so we must make him go away of his own accord. A thought has just come into my mind as to how we can do it. As soon as he comes you shall commence to quarrel with me. I shall then come to you and beat you, or, rather, the ground near you, with both my hands, and you must continue your abuse and cries. The guest will find this very disgusting, and will leave us of his own accord.”

Mr. Won't-Give had just finished when he saw Mr. Won't-Leave returning with the leaves. The wife, as pre-arranged, abused her husband right and left for his great imprudence and over-liberality in feeding the Brahmans. Said she:

”How are we to get on in the world if you thus empty the house of everything we have in feeding big-bellied Brahmans? Must you be so particular as to invite them, even when I am sick?” These, and a thousand similar expressions, were now launched at the husband's head. He pretended not to hear it for a time, but at last, apparently overcome by anger, he went in and with his hands gave successive blows on the floor. At every blow on the floor the wife cried out that she was being murdered, and that those who had mercy in their hearts should come to her rescue.

Mr. Won't-Leave, from the court-yard of the house, listened to what was taking place inside, but not wis.h.i.+ng to interfere in a quarrel between husband and wife, left matters to take their own course, and got into the loft, where he hid himself, fearing that he would be summoned as a witness to the quarrel.

After a time Mr. Won't-Give came out of the room where he had been beating the floor, and to his joy he could not find the guest. He cautiously looked round him and saw no signs of Mr. Won't-Leave. Of course, having had no reason to think that his guest would be sitting in the loft, he did not look up there; and even if he had done so, he would not have found him, for he had hidden himself out of sight.

Mr. Won't-Give now carefully bolted the door, and his wife came out and changed her dirty cloth for a clean one. Said her husband to her:

”At last we have succeeded in driving him out; come, you too must be hungry; let us have our dinner together.”

Two leaves were spread on the ground, and all the dishes were equally divided into them. Meanwhile Mr. Won't-Leave was watching all that took place below him and, being himself very hungry, was slyly watching for an opportunity to jump down. Mr. Won't-Give, gloating over his trickery, said to his wife:

”Well, my love, did I not beat you without hurting you?” to which she replied:

”Did I not continue to cry without shedding tears?” when suddenly there fell on their ears:

”And did I not come to have my dinner without going away?” and down jumped Mr. Won't-Leave, from the loft, and took his seat in front of the leaf spread by Mr. Won't-Give for his wife. And Mr. Won't-Give, though disappointed, was highly pleased at the cleverness of his guest.

This story is cited as the authority for three proverbs that have come into use in Tamil.

”Novamal aditten.”

”Oyamal aluden.”

”Pokamal vanden.”

which represent the exchanges of politeness between the husband, the wife, and the guest, quoted in the foregoing paragraphs.

VII.

VAYALVALLAN KAIYAVALLA.

MR. MIGHTY-OF-HIS-MOUTH AND MR. MIGHTY-OF-HIS-HANDS.

In two adjoining villages there lived two famous men. The one was called Mr. Mighty-of-his-mouth [52]--one that could accomplish wonders with words alone. The other was called Mr. Mighty-of-his-hands [53]--one who could make no use of that glib instrument the tongue, but was able to bear burdens, cut wood, and perform other physical labour.

It so happened that they agreed to live together in the house of the Mr. Mighty-of-his-mouth, to try and see which of them was the superior. They accordingly kept company for several months, till the great feast of the nine nights (navaratri) came on. On the first day of the feast Mr. Mighty-of-his-hands wanted to sacrifice a goat to the G.o.ddess Kali. So he said to Mr. Mighty-of-his-mouth,

”My dear friend, we both are mighty in our way, and so it would be shameful for us to buy the goat, that we want to sacrifice, with money. We should manage to get it without payment.”