Part 10 (1/2)
Angus feels Jill is transferring her defensiveness onto him by demanding ”What is?”
”Some of you don't seem to be used to our routines yet. The more things you can do without having to think about them the better.”
”I don't know if that's ever a good idea, doing things without thinking. I can't imagine telling my daughter to.”
”Round here it's essential. Let's keep discussion for another time, shall we? I need what I have to tell you to sink in.”
”G.o.d, that sounds masterful,” says Jake.
Angus wonders if he's deliberately exaggerating himself, and hopes Woody is. Jill lets out a giggle, most of it chopped off by shock, and Gavin emits a laugh that's even shorter and more mirthless. ”Any more comments anyone needs to get out of the way?” Woody asks and stares at them.
Angus can't help feeling forced to shake his head and offer what he hopes isn't too much of a smile or too little either, though everybody else keeps their response to themselves. ”Okay, then,” Woody says. ”I wish I could take all of you to see how we do it back home.”
”How do you?”
”Glad you asked, Angus. When you walk into a shop you want to feel the staff are eager to do everything they can for you, don't you? That's what I'm not always getting from some of you, and I don't only mean the ones around this table right now.”
”Some of us Brits, you mean,” says Gavin. 127 ”That's exactly right. Maybe it's the British cla.s.s thing, you feel serving is beneath you, but it isn't if you want to work for Texts. I'm starting to think it's one reason we aren't seeing enough customers. We need to make them feel this is the best bookstore they were ever in, which by G.o.d it is from what I've seen of the compet.i.tion. We have to make sure they keep coming back and tell all their friends.”
Angus doesn't want to feel delegated to ask, but the silence tugs his mouth open. ”How do we?”
”I know why you guys are feeling blue, but we don't want the customers to be. For a start you smile whenever you see a customer. Remind yourself they're the people that are keeping you employed and maybe that'll help. Go ahead. Like this.”
He jerks his fingers up on either side of his face as if to urge the corners of his mouth higher. His eyes are wide and ready to answer any question, his lips are parted to expose his gleaming teeth. All this might look more welcoming if his eyes weren't so red. His face puts Angus in mind of a clown's helpless mask, especially when it doesn't relent until everyone has attempted to match it. ”You all need to work on that,” Woody says as the expression sinks into his face. ”Okay, let's try what goes with it. From now on we greet every customer. Will anyone be uncomfortable saying welcome to Texts?”
It's him Angus can't say he's comfortable with, and so he says nothing. Woody's either happy or determined to take the silence for general agreement; certainly his smile is close to surfacing again. ”So I'm a customer,” he declares. ”Who's going to welcome me?”
He isn't gazing only at Angus, but Angus is unable to ignore the urgency that seems to be turning Woody's eyes even redder. He clears his throat, and the end of the noise catches on his first word. ”Welcome to Texts.”
”Couldn't hear you.” 128 ”Welcome to Texts,” Angus nearly shouts as his hot face swells around his mouth.
”Hey, I'm in the store, not out there in the fog. That's more enthusiastic, anyway, but what am I not seeing?”
Failing to grasp what he means gives Angus the impression that his brain is steeped in fog. Woody's eyes widen like wounds, and he jabs a chewed thumbnail at his face. Instantly the smile is back and toothier than ever. ”It's nothing without this,” it hardly wavers while he tells Angus.
Angus stretches his eyes and mouth wide and hauls the corners of his lips so high they start to tremble. ”Welcome to Texts,” he says, but so much of it is caught by the smile that he feels like a ventriloquist's doll.
”Not too bad. Practice every chance you get. You can rehea.r.s.e whenever you're not on the sales floor,” Woody says not just to Angus. ”Now who's going to try to top him?”
Angus wonders if he's expected to maintain the smile while everyone else competes. When n.o.body volunteers he lets it go, and feels his face shrink as Woody says ”Hey, it won't mean we're any less of a team. Helping each other improve makes you more of one.”
Jake stretches his arms wide as if he's about to embrace Woody. ”Welcome to Texts,” he says in a voice he might use to seduce or be seduced, and simpers enough for both.
”You may want to tone it down a shade, but it wasn't that funny, Gavin. Let's see yours.”
Gavin doesn't alter his smirk as he says ”Welcome to Texts” with no emotion at all. Before Woody can comment, Jill says it as if she's offering a child a treat and follows it with an expectant smile she turns on Ross. She must want to encourage him, but when he repeats the formula his smile looks not too far from tears; Angus suspects he's remembering Lorraine. ”Okay, it all needs work, especially the smiles,” Woody says. ”And once you've got it you need to have that att.i.tude every moment of your day to every customer.”
He searches their faces for it or mutiny before adding ”I 129 need one of you to take leaflets to all the stores. Who'll be fastest?”
Gavin opens his mouth, but Woody mustn't like his speed. ”You can do it, Angus. Go now before we start losing people.”
He means to the funeral. As Angus picks up a heap of leaflets from Connie's desk, Woody says ”Why don't you leave them on the cars out there too. Okay, your time starts now.”
Angus grabs his coat and struggles to struggle into it without putting down the leaflets. A notion that the smile is threatening to resurface on Woody's face makes him clumsier still. He drops the leaflets and dresses himself and gathers them again before fleeing to the stairs. He's emerging onto the sales floor when Agnes says from the ceiling ”a.s.sistance to counter, please. a.s.sistance to counter.”
She's issuing a gift voucher to a large woman with a small head balanced on several chins above the ruff of a chunky sweater. A man whose grey ponytail sprawls over the fur collar of his shabby astrakhan overcoat is waiting at Information. As Angus dodges behind the counter the man swings his wrinkled face to him, fingering the dimple in his chin. ”Don't blame you wearing a coat in here, or were you getting out while the going's good?”
”Is it?” Angus says without knowing why.
”Fog's lifted a bit. Don't expect it's for long. Before you run, I'm Bob Sole. You've got a book for me at last.”
As Angus ducks to the Customer Orders shelf he's aware of having forgotten to smile at Mr Sole, let alone welcome him. None of the tags the half a dozen books are sprouting bears Mr Sole's name. ”Sorry, what was the book called?”
”It's Commons and Ca.n.a.ls of Ches.h.i.+re. Commons and Ca.n.a.ls of Ches.h.i.+re. Feller by the name of Bottomley wrote it. Adrian, if that's a help.” Feller by the name of Bottomley wrote it. Adrian, if that's a help.”
It doesn't seem to be. ”Did someone say it was here?”
”You sent me a card.” Mr Sole pulls it and a scattering 130 of tobacco out of his pocket. ”You won't mind me asking, but are you having a joke? This is the second time I've ordered it, and your mate I asked for it last time seemed to think something was a laugh.”
Angus remembers Gavin saying in the stafriendroom that they had a customer called R. Sole. At once he hopes he won't smile after all or unleash a sound to go with it. He hides as much of his face as he can by leaning over the card Mr Sole deals with a snap onto the counter. Seizing the phone lets Angus keep his face averted. He's about to summon help when Woody says in his ear ”Not on your mission yet? What's the problem?”
”We're supposed to have an order but I can't find it.” Angus is suddenly terrified of how he may react if he's asked for the customer's name, until Woody says ”I'm guessing it's Commons and Ca.n.a.ls of Ches.h.i.+re.” Commons and Ca.n.a.ls of Ches.h.i.+re.”
”That's it, but how--was ”I have it here in my office. Tell the customer I'm bringing it right now.”
Angus feels safe in hitching up his lips as he turns to Mr Sole. ”The manager's on his way with it for you.”
He has scarcely replaced the receiver when Woody darts out of the exit to the staffroom. Mr Sole swings around in the midst of a smell of stale astrakhan to peer at the thin drab book in Woody's hand. ”Making sure it wouldn't stray this time, were you?”
”Just glancing through it while we had it,” Woody smiles.
”Much about this neck of the woods?”
”Nothing I'd call important,” Woody says and turns so fast that Angus is uncertain whether his smile had already begun to vanish. ”I'm handling this. You shouldn't still be here.”
”Oh, right, that's right,” Angus gabbles, which brings to an end the sympathetic look Agnes was considering on his behalf. He fumbles the leaflets off the counter and clutches them to his bosom as he dashes out of the shop.
The sun has made no headway against the fog. If 131 anything, a sourceless dazzle aggravates the blindness that has erased most of the retail park. Vague folds of it waver on the tarmac like the skirts of a vast sluggish dancer. They must be why Angus feels he's being paced when he leaves Woody's stare through the window behind. As he dodges into Happy Holidays, a sodden grey veil is drawn over the far end of Texts.
Two girls in yellow sweaters with a large H on each breast are playing noughts and crosses behind the counter. Both raise their heads with eagerness that looks not unlike surprise, and the even blonder and slimmer girl says ”Where can we fly you off to?”
”I'm not going anywhere just now. We wondered next door if you'd mind taking some of our leaflets.”
”Don't bother wasting many.” As he drops about a dozen on the counter she says ”That's more customers than we've had all week.”
Angus leaves the girls with a version of Woody's smile as he backs out, but it seems not to impress them much. The fog has beaten a mindlessly mocking retreat far enough to reveal an old Skoda out beyond the splintered tree-stump. He makes for the car in case Woody notices it hasn't been leafleted. He lifts one creaky windscreen wiper and plants a leaflet under it, and is retreating towards the fog that has descended on the pavement when a voice behind him calls ”What's that you've stuck on my car?”
He skids around to glimpse a tall figure through the undamaged pair of trees. The figure blurs and almost vanishes on the way to tramping past the stretch of gra.s.s. The man is wearing white trainers, green trousers, a sc.r.a.ped leather jacket dangling several tatters, a black woollen hat from beneath which tufts of white hair are in the process of escaping. His small mottled face does its best to draw together around its swollen pockmarked nose as he bends his lanky form towards the car. ”Oh, it's you,” he says even more flatly than his Lancas.h.i.+re accent entails. ”You were after me.” 132 ”Who was?”
”Your lot here. Texts. Doesn't look as if it would have been worth the effort.”