Part 58 (1/2)
”You must not come here to beat Englishmen, I can tell you,” roared one of the waiters. ”What do we care for your foreign counts?”
”Sacre, canaille?” cried the other party, in a contemptuous voice, which I well knew.
”Ay, ca.n.a.l!--we'll duck you in the ca.n.a.l, if you don't mind.”
”You will!” said the stranger, who had hitherto spoken French. ”Allow me to observe--in the most delicate manner in the world--just to hint, that you are a d----d trencher-sc.r.a.ping, napkin-carrying, s.h.i.+lling-seeking, up-and-down-stairs son of a b.i.t.c.h--and take this for your impudence!”
The noise of the cane was again heard; and I hastened downstairs, where I found Count Shucksen thras.h.i.+ng two or three of the waiters without mercy. At my appearance, the waiters, who were showing fight, retreated to a short distance, out of reach of the cane.
”My dear count,” exclaimed I, ”is it you?”
”My dear Lord Privilege, will you excuse me? but these fellows are saucy.”
”Then I'll have them discharged,” replied I. ”If a friend of mine, and an officer of your rank and distinction, cannot come to see me without insult, I will seek another hotel.”
This threat of mine, and the reception I gave the count, put all to rights. The waiters sneaked off, and the master of the hotel apologised.
It appeared that they had desired him to wait in the coffee-room until they could announce him, which had hurt the count's dignity.
”We are just sitting down to dinner, count; will you join us?”
”As soon as I have improved my toilet, my dear lord,” replied he; ”you must perceive that I am off a journey.”
The master of the hotel bowed, and proceeded to show the count to a dressing-room. When I returned upstairs--”What was the matter?”
inquired O'Brien.
”Oh, nothing!--a little disturbance in consequence of a foreigner not understanding English.”
In about five minutes the waiter opened the door, and announced Count Shucksen.
”Now, O'Brien, you'll be puzzled,” said I; and in came the count.
”My dear Lord Privilege,” said he, coming up and taking me by the hand, ”let me not be the last to congratulate you upon your accession. I was running up the channel in my frigate when a pilot-boat gave me a newspaper, in which I saw your unexpected change of circ.u.mstances. I made an excuse for dropping my anchor at Spithead this morning, and I have come up post, to express how sincerely I partic.i.p.ate in your good fortune.” Count Shucksen then politely saluted the ladies and the general, and turned round to O'Brien, who had been staring at him with astonishment. ”Count Shucksen, allow me to introduce Sir Terence O'Brien.”
”By the piper that played before Moses, but it's a puzzle,” said O'Brien. ”Blood and thunder! if it a'n't Chucks!--my dear fellow, when did you rise from your grave?”
”Fortunately,” replied the count, as they shook each other's hands for some time, ”I never went into it, Sir Terence. But now, with your permission, my lord, I'll take some food, as I really am not a little hungry. After dinner, Captain O'Brien, you shall hear my history.”
His secret was confided to the whole party, upon my pledging myself for their keeping it locked up in their own b.r.e.a.s.t.s, which was a bold thing on my part, considering that two of them were ladies. The count stayed with us for some time, and was introduced everywhere. It was impossible to discover that he had not been bred up in a court, his manners were so good. He was a great favourite with the ladies; and his moustachios, bad French, and waltzing--an accomplishment he had picked up in Sweden--were quite the vogue. All the ladies were sorry when the Swedish count announced his departure by a P.P.C.
Before I left town I called upon the First Lord of the Admiralty, and procured for Swinburne a first-rate building--that is to say, ordered to be built. This he had often said he wished, as he was tired of the sea, after a service of forty-five years. Subsequently I obtained leave of absence for him every year, and he used to make himself very happy at Eagle Park. Most of his time was, however, pa.s.sed on the lake, either fis.h.i.+ng or rowing about; telling long stories to all who would join him in his water excursions.
A fortnight after my a.s.suming my t.i.tle, we set off for Eagle Park, and Celeste consented to my entreaties that the wedding should take place that day month. Upon this hint O'Brien spake; and, to oblige _me_, Ellen consented that we should be united on the same day.
O'Brien wrote to Father M'Grath; but the letter was returned by post, with ”_dead_” marked upon the outside. O'Brien then wrote to one of his sisters, who informed him that Father M'Grath would cross the bog one evening when he had taken a very large proportion of whisky; and that he was seen out of the right path, and had never been heard of afterwards.
On the day appointed we were all united, and both unions have been attended with as much happiness as this world can afford. Both O'Brien and I are blessed with children, which, as...o...b..ien observed, have come upon us like old age, until we now can muster a large Christmas party in the two families. The general's head is white, and he sits and smiles, happy in his daughter's happiness, and in the gambols of his grandchildren.