Volume 3 Chapter 5 (2/2)
”Wha, what?”
”&h.e.l.lip; No, it's the first time you've ever said someone else's name, so I was surprised, that's all.”
After school, I'd stopped by the Rose Mansion for the first time in forever, and this was the response I got. Youko, an honor student and a very caring person, finished reading some doc.u.ments and then said, ”So?”
”Nothing. I ran into a first-year named that this morning, that's all. I found out she's in the same cla.s.s as your sœur, so I wondered if you'd heard any rumors or something.”
”Sachiko's cla.s.s&h.e.l.lip;?”
She didn't seem to remember. I thought maybe there'd be information floating around, because of how strong of an impression she left, but that wasn't the case.
”If you don't know, whatever.”
I'd begun to leave, when Youko grabbed my arm.
”Since you've come this way, just stay for a bit. I'd wanted to point out before that you don't seem to understand your position as a bouton.”
But Youko's here, fully aware, so it shouldn't be a problem if I'm gone. Is what I thought, anyways.
”I didn't become a bouton because I wanted to.”
”But you accepted it, by becoming Rosa Gigantea's sister, did you not?”
”She wasn't Rosa Gigantea then.”
”What a quibble. My head hurts just thinking about next year.”
Youko put a hand to her head and sighed.
Of course. Because other than herself, none of the bouton were dependable.
Rosa Foetida en bouton Eriko does what she's supposed to, but she always looks bored. And I happily skip. When the three of us lose the ”en bouton” from our names, the Yamayurikai may seriously collapse.
But that's alright. Because my head hurts thinking about next year, too.
”Anyways, stay a bit, at least until someone else comes.”
Youko wouldn't let go of my arm.
”Even if I get away, it's not your responsibility.”
”But I still don't want to have let you get away, when I was by myself.”
”Mmm.”
I sat down in a chair. Not necessarily for Youko, but because just standing was getting tiresome. Either way, Youko said ”thank you,” and looked through doc.u.ments again.
After about five minutes, I could hear the creaking sound of someone climbing the stairs.
”Oh wow, what a rarity.”
My onee-sama, Rosa Gigantea, arrived with Youko's sister, Ogasawara Sachiko.
That was a rare combination, too. When she got to the door, onee-sama held out Sachiko like a newfound doll.
”We ran into each other in the hallway, so we came here together. Sachiko-chan's like a cute j.a.panese doll, so I can't help wanting to be with her.”
As onee-sama said, Sachiko was undoubtedly beautiful. I knew about her from before high school, because she was a year under me. Of course, knowing about her simply meant I'd seen her once, as I'd never bothered to meet her.
In her case, she was a famous figure in school because of her appearance and her stature as a young woman of a rich family. When Youko made Sachiko her sister, I thought, why would she bother with such a pain-in-the-a.s.s person? But it was obviously because if Youko didn't do it, no one else would have had the courage to do it.
”I'm sorry to show up with a Western face, onee-sama.”
”Oh, are you sulking? Oh you fool, Sei's face is Sei's face, I picked you because of your face, after all.”
”Sorry, and thanks.”
I felt satisfied. I loved hearing ”I picked you because of your face” from my onee-sama. People can't see who you are on the inside, so when they praise you on your outside, it's a lot more persuasive.
”Sit down.”
As Sachiko sat down next to Youko, I moved myself to the seat next to onee-sama. I don't like an intimate atmosphere, but I didn't dislike the Rose Mansion. Maybe she knew it, because onee-sama never told me to show up at meetings or tea parties. In my case, I'd show up if I wanted, and I'd not show up if I didn't. So she knew it would be a waste of breath.
Yes. Onee-sama has always been good at handling me.
When I entered high school, I received a lot of sœur proposals, but I turned them all down. I just wanted to be left alone, but everyone kept clamoring, why don't you pick an onee-sama. When I began thinking that was becoming extremely annoying, Rosa Gigantea en bouton showed up.
She said she liked my face. I want to keep seeing your face, so be by my side. And with that, I decided to be her sister.
Having been told why I'd been liked, I felt a lot more at ease.
That's why sometimes I showed up at the Rose Mansion and sat down, for her sake. I didn't like meetings, but I just needed to sit there and pretend I was listening.
Using Youko and Sachiko and onee-sama's voices and giggles as a BGM, I silently sang ”Maria-sama's soul.” As for why I decided to sing that, it was because it's the first song that flowed through my head. As long as it was a song I knew, I wouldn't have minded a modern j.a.panese ballad, either.
I wasn't fond of conversing with girls my age. That's why I spent time during recess reading novels. I knew I was an enigma in my cla.s.s.
Rosa Chinensis and Rosa Foetida arrived, so the meeting began. ”Maria-sama's soul” ended with nice timing, so I began thinking about the girl I met in the sanctuary that morning, instead.
Kubo s.h.i.+ori.
As Youko said, I thought it was surprising I became interested in someone else.
I surprised myself with how aggressive I was.
To start with, I decided to wake up early and wait for s.h.i.+ori at the school gate. s.h.i.+ori had to go through the gate, as she used the bus at M Station. The reason why I picked the school gate, instead of the station or the bus stop, was because I decided it was the most probable place for her to pa.s.s through.
It was childish, I knew. I was filled with the hope of seeing her happen to walk through the gate, by chance. The possibility that she went to school together with a friend, or that I'd be rejected never crossed my mind.
In the end, that sort of unfortunate result didn't happen. Because s.h.i.+ori never walked through the gate.
The wave of black uniforms came to a halt. I even forgot to run to the school buildings, instead absent-mindedly watching the doorkeeper close a part of the gate.
Before thinking about the possibility of her being late or simply missing school, I lost confidence. Did she really exist? Youko didn't seem to remember the name Kubo s.h.i.+ori, and no one else was in the sanctuary at the time, so there was no way to prove she was Kubo s.h.i.+ori, a first-year student. But strangely enough, it seemed to suit her, being an otherworldly existence.
When it became lunch break, I peeked into the first-year pine cla.s.s. They must have been used to seeing a second-year, but this cla.s.s seemed more bemused by second-years, and didn't really bother helping them out.
”What's the matter, Sei-sama?”
Sachiko called to me from behind. She'd been out of the cla.s.s when I'd arrived, apparently.
”Is Kubo s.h.i.+ori in this cla.s.s?”
I couldn't help but ask for confirmation.
”Yes.”
Sachiko-sama tilted her head, wondering why I'd ask such a thing.
”Is she absent, today?”
I confirmed her existence, but I still didn't see her in the room.
”No.”
”Was she late?”
”She was in cla.s.s when cla.s.s began. And-”
Sachiko answered my next question.
”As for where she is now, I think the sanctuary.”
”Sanctuary&h.e.l.lip;”
”She's a devout Christian. So she's always praying in the morning.”
That answered everything.
s.h.i.+ori arrived at school earlier than I did, and was praying to G.o.d while I was waiting at the gate.
Even though I met her there yesterday, I'd never wondered why she was there and when she was there from. It wasn't like s.h.i.+ori had gone there to sleep, like I did, anyways.
And when I heard s.h.i.+ori was a devout Christian, I couldn't help but nod, so that's what. The ”whiteness” I saw in her was probably her faith.
”Shall I tell her Rosa Gigantea en bouton was looking for her?”
”That would be unnecessary.”
”You are going to the sanctuary now.”
”-Not really.”
Without thanking her, I turned away from Sachiko. It wasn't like I had fault with Sachiko. But she was sharp, despite having no ill intentions. I knew that, but it still felt unpleasant having my affection toward s.h.i.+ori seen through by a younger Sachiko.
After returning to my cla.s.s once, I thought again and changed direction. It would be childish to not go to the sanctuary just because Sachiko said it, and I didn't want to step into a noisy cla.s.sroom.
To begin with, I wanted to step out and get some fresh air. I walked out of the emergency exit, usually off limits. The fresh leaves were turning greener by the day, and their glitter beauty was so pleasant to the eyes it made cla.s.s seem extremely stupid.
I would have brought a book. I wanted to skip cla.s.s, imagining how wonderful it would be to spend time under this weather.
Consciously, or subconsciously, my legs carried me to the east. Maybe I could see s.h.i.+ori. But it was okay if I didn't. I didn't know what I'd say, if I did.
My feeling, at that point, was honestly to just look at s.h.i.+ori from afar. If I could watch s.h.i.+ori without her ever noticing me-.
I looked up and closed my eyes. It felt like I was melting into the greenery. I would become twigs, the fresh leaves, and the wind that ran through everything. I wanted to vanish, like that. I wanted Satou Sei to be exterminated from this world, without anyone knowing I was here at all.
When I opened my eyes, like a miracle, s.h.i.+ori was there. She was about ten meters ahead, and stopped a meter in front of me.
”Gokigenyou, Rosa Gigantea en bouton.”
She was there, like it was the most natural of things. I couldn't help but think that she was the opposite of me, loved by the world and accepted by the world. Maybe that was why I was drawn to s.h.i.+ori.
”I came to see you.”
I wanted to be saved by s.h.i.+ori. To purify this nonconforming soul, to return me to normalcy.
”I wanted to see you. Would this be a bother?”
I repeated myself. I was begging s.h.i.+ori with an expression I wouldn't dare show my mother. At some point, I'd thrown away the armor my soul wore, that which protected me. There was nothing I could do if I was rejected. I'd found something in s.h.i.+ori that I was willing to risk everything to get.
”How could I say it's a bother?”
With a calm voice, like a crystal-clear lake, s.h.i.+ori replied.
”I was just wanting to see you, too.”
I cried, surprising myself with how honest I was being. I wanted to thank G.o.d for giving me s.h.i.+ori.
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