Part 4 (1/2)

OFFICE s.p.a.cE.

”Office s.p.a.ce” is somewhat of an oxymoron these days. Office s.p.a.ce Office s.p.a.ce (1999) is also a hilarious movie. The following lines between the characters played by Jennifer Aniston and Ron Livingston reflect the contempt employees feel for the cubicle culture of today's office: (1999) is also a hilarious movie. The following lines between the characters played by Jennifer Aniston and Ron Livingston reflect the contempt employees feel for the cubicle culture of today's office: Peter: I uh, I don't like my job, and, uh, I don't think I'm gonna go anymore. I uh, I don't like my job, and, uh, I don't think I'm gonna go anymore.

Joanna: You're just not gonna go? You're just not gonna go?

Peter: Yeah. Yeah.

Joanna: Won't you get fired? Won't you get fired?

Peter: I don't know, but I really don't like it, and, uh, I'm not gonna go. I don't know, but I really don't like it, and, uh, I'm not gonna go.

I would imagine most introverts have fantasized about doing what Peter did-and some have pulled it off. But dropping out is not a viable option for most of us, and many of us spend at least part of our time at an office-without an office. The office of today has banished private s.p.a.ce in favor of freestanding modules cluttering ma.s.sive rooms: the dreaded an office. The office of today has banished private s.p.a.ce in favor of freestanding modules cluttering ma.s.sive rooms: the dreaded cubicle. cubicle.

In an article for Fortune Fortune (March 22, 2006), Julie Schlosser reviewed how cubicles were faring thirty years after Robert Propst released his prototype for the enclosure. The article, ”Cubicles: The great mistake,” noted that Propst, like inventors of tools used in warfare, despised the office culture that grew out of his contribution. Schlosser compared the cubicle to crabgra.s.s that persists in growing despite its lack of popularity: (March 22, 2006), Julie Schlosser reviewed how cubicles were faring thirty years after Robert Propst released his prototype for the enclosure. The article, ”Cubicles: The great mistake,” noted that Propst, like inventors of tools used in warfare, despised the office culture that grew out of his contribution. Schlosser compared the cubicle to crabgra.s.s that persists in growing despite its lack of popularity: Reviled by workers, demonized by designers, disowned by its very creator, it still claims the largest share of office furniture sales-$3 billion or so a year-and has outlived every ”office of the future” meant to replace it. It is the Fidel Castro of office furniture. Reviled by workers, demonized by designers, disowned by its very creator, it still claims the largest share of office furniture sales-$3 billion or so a year-and has outlived every ”office of the future” meant to replace it. It is the Fidel Castro of office furniture.

Office-less office employees, retail personnel, nurses, and administrative staff-to mention only a few-spend a great deal of their day within easy reach of others. Even those of us who have the luxury of a door often feel pressure to keep it open.

What kind of room do you have at work? Mentally go to that place, sit or stand wherever you sit or stand, and look around. What is your view? What feelings do you have as you look around? How well can you think think in this s.p.a.ce? in this s.p.a.ce?

Now exit reality and imagine your ideal works.p.a.ce. Don't think about your real job or even your profession for the moment. Just think about the kind of s.p.a.ce you would love to work in-your works.p.a.ce. As we did for your room, consider size, the view, the lighting, and what you want inside. I'll put in another bookmark so you can go off and do your thinking. You may want to jump back to the first bookmark and use the questions there to get you going. works.p.a.ce. As we did for your room, consider size, the view, the lighting, and what you want inside. I'll put in another bookmark so you can go off and do your thinking. You may want to jump back to the first bookmark and use the questions there to get you going.

This is where you left off while getting your supplies.

If you are resisting this exercise, protesting that you have no choice about your work setting, I'll say what I say to my clients: ”You have a choice about whether to like it. like it.” And introverts, in particular, have been told for too long to like it-from the team meetings to the happy hour after work. I'm not suggesting we start whining and feeling depressed about our work setting; we may already be doing both. What I am suggesting is that we do what we do best: seek inner clarity. As you compare your ideal and real work settings, you will start to get that clarity.

Whining is an indication of powerlessness, as when the child whines about going to school. Inner clarity is a source of power: the clearer you are about what you want, the more prepared you are to act when the time is ripe. And the time may be ripe now.

James Meyer, who specializes in placing IT (Information Technology) professionals, saw the loss of ident.i.ty that came with the cubicle culture, and has helped to usher in an increasingly popular option: telecommuting-commuting to work via computer. Working at home has become a standard part of the contracts Meyer negotiates for these highly skilled professionals. ”They're much happier,” says Meyer, who also works at home, ”only now they complain about coming in for a staff meeting.”

But IT specialists aren't the only employees working from home, also referred to as teleworking. teleworking. Here's an idea that environmentalists and conservative policymakers can agree on. In addition to saving energy and reducing pollution, spreading out work is being promoted as a solution to terrorism-take that Osama! A 2007 survey by CDW Corporation reported that forty-four percent of Federal employees now have the option to telework. And, as Meyer observed, telecommuters are happier employees. Results of a 2006 survey by Here's an idea that environmentalists and conservative policymakers can agree on. In addition to saving energy and reducing pollution, spreading out work is being promoted as a solution to terrorism-take that Osama! A 2007 survey by CDW Corporation reported that forty-four percent of Federal employees now have the option to telework. And, as Meyer observed, telecommuters are happier employees. Results of a 2006 survey by Money Money magazine and Salary.com, reported by Rob Kelley for CNNMoney.com, revealed that satisfied workers had the most work-from-home options and ”the most stressed workers were also least able to telecommute, with only a third saying it was an option for them at work.” The report also found that flexibility in hours and ease of getting time off made for happier employees. And these happier employees weren't slackers: the most satisfied employees actually worked eleven hours more per week than the least satisfied group! magazine and Salary.com, reported by Rob Kelley for CNNMoney.com, revealed that satisfied workers had the most work-from-home options and ”the most stressed workers were also least able to telecommute, with only a third saying it was an option for them at work.” The report also found that flexibility in hours and ease of getting time off made for happier employees. And these happier employees weren't slackers: the most satisfied employees actually worked eleven hours more per week than the least satisfied group!

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

-Robert Frost Schlosser's piece in Fortune Fortune also discussed the telecommuting trend, as well as the office located in a ”third s.p.a.ce”-usually a quiet coffeehouse. The home office and third s.p.a.ce alternatives were envisioned by the sixties' revolutionary Stewart Brand, author of also discussed the telecommuting trend, as well as the office located in a ”third s.p.a.ce”-usually a quiet coffeehouse. The home office and third s.p.a.ce alternatives were envisioned by the sixties' revolutionary Stewart Brand, author of The Whole Earth Catalog, The Whole Earth Catalog, who has worked out of a converted s.h.i.+pping container as well as a beached fis.h.i.+ng boat. who has worked out of a converted s.h.i.+pping container as well as a beached fis.h.i.+ng boat.

Even if the time is not not ripe for you to claim your own office s.p.a.ce, here are some ways you can bring a sense of ”mine” to the s.p.a.ce you have: ripe for you to claim your own office s.p.a.ce, here are some ways you can bring a sense of ”mine” to the s.p.a.ce you have: Take your breaks! When the clock says it's time for your break or for lunch, get out. Start a list of places you can go to reenergize. A client of mine lamented giving up smoking because she missed the ”smoke breaks.” Think of introvert time-outs as When the clock says it's time for your break or for lunch, get out. Start a list of places you can go to reenergize. A client of mine lamented giving up smoking because she missed the ”smoke breaks.” Think of introvert time-outs as breathing breathing breaks. If your break isn't long enough to allow a complete retreat, have a book or journal handy-both send the message, ”I want to be alone.” breaks. If your break isn't long enough to allow a complete retreat, have a book or journal handy-both send the message, ”I want to be alone.”

Work unconventional hours. If you can flex, try working earlier or later than your colleagues. Working a weekend day in exchange for a workday can be a refres.h.i.+ng switch: an empty office on the weekend, and a quieter world on a weekday. If you can flex, try working earlier or later than your colleagues. Working a weekend day in exchange for a workday can be a refres.h.i.+ng switch: an empty office on the weekend, and a quieter world on a weekday.

Claim the s.p.a.ce you have. Bring in an item from your room at home, something quirky that only you could think of. Clear clutter. Every so often, close your eyes and breathe. Let your body language communicate, ”I'm working.” Bring in an item from your room at home, something quirky that only you could think of. Clear clutter. Every so often, close your eyes and breathe. Let your body language communicate, ”I'm working.”

Find alternative s.p.a.ce AT the office. Retreat to a spare conference room to work on a project. Volunteer to make a run to the post office, library, or storage facility and savor the time in your car. In the sitcom Retreat to a spare conference room to work on a project. Volunteer to make a run to the post office, library, or storage facility and savor the time in your car. In the sitcom Scrubs, Scrubs, medical interns used the supply closet as a hideout when they needed to have a panic attack or a good cry. If you seek private s.p.a.ce, you are much more likely to find it. medical interns used the supply closet as a hideout when they needed to have a panic attack or a good cry. If you seek private s.p.a.ce, you are much more likely to find it.

Regardless of where you roam in the course of your day, don't forget to take your mind with you-the ultimate private s.p.a.ce. Practice being honest with yourself. Make note of what you like and don't like, what feels right and what feels wrong. Give mental s.p.a.ce to your desires. Seek clarity. Make revisions as needed. And be very, very kind to yourself. Your s.p.a.ce will expand. I promise.

Chapter 7:.

The Time to Think Men fear thought as they fear nothing else on earth, more than ruin, more even than death. Thought is subversive and revolutionary, destructive and terrible; thought is merciless to privilege, established inst.i.tutions, and comfortable habit. Thought looks into the pit of h.e.l.l and is not afraid.

-Bertrand Russell You have your day scheduled out, given over to the expectations of others. You brace yourself for what's ahead. Then you get a call. The day is cancelled; everyone who needed you is down with a three-day virus.

Is there anything more delicious? You know what I'm talking about. We don't like others to be sick, but we love love others to cancel. We become giddy at the prospect of ”found” time-time without plans or expectations. Time to think. Time between time. others to cancel. We become giddy at the prospect of ”found” time-time without plans or expectations. Time to think. Time between time.

Why is it so hard to plan this kind of time? We take a day off and then feel guilty that we're not getting enough done or not having enough fun fun - or both. Found time is a gift; planned time becomes a demand, which, paradoxically, is not time at all. I return again to Whitman's - or both. Found time is a gift; planned time becomes a demand, which, paradoxically, is not time at all. I return again to Whitman's Song of the Open Road Song of the Open Road and imagine him looking in every direction and inhaling ”great draughts of s.p.a.ce.” What if we could not only experience such s.p.a.ce but also inhale great draughts of and imagine him looking in every direction and inhaling ”great draughts of s.p.a.ce.” What if we could not only experience such s.p.a.ce but also inhale great draughts of time? time?

For an introvert, ample time would provide a cus.h.i.+on around activity-the mental s.p.a.ce we need to reflect, to make meaning, to find inspiration. There would be lots of ”time between time,” and introverts would thrive.

This option is not just available in fantasy or in the introvert's version of heaven. Just as we can reclaim our s.p.a.ce, we can indulge in time. First, let's look at what we're up against.

TIME POVERTY.

In America, time has become a commodity, and a scarce one at that. We invent more and more ways of saving time, only to find even more ways to spend it. When we say that ”time is money,” we make time a product-and produce, we must! When we say that ”time is money,” we really mean that money is more important more important than time: that time has value to the extent that it is redeemable in money. The introvert mode of thinking than time: that time has value to the extent that it is redeemable in money. The introvert mode of thinking first first is not valued, because the thinking time is not a tangible product. Even if the thinking time is is not valued, because the thinking time is not a tangible product. Even if the thinking time is on its way on its way to being a tangible product, we believe time is scarce, so we can't afford much of that kind of time. Those who think on their feet, or simply to being a tangible product, we believe time is scarce, so we can't afford much of that kind of time. Those who think on their feet, or simply use use their feet and their mouths, seem to be making good on the time-money trade. In our American ”just do it” society, their feet and their mouths, seem to be making good on the time-money trade. In our American ”just do it” society, doing doing takes the lead over takes the lead over knowing. knowing. Value is a.s.sociated with what you produce, what you show to the world. And, like cheap talk, credit cards allow us to show much, much more-whether or not we have anything real to back it. Value is a.s.sociated with what you produce, what you show to the world. And, like cheap talk, credit cards allow us to show much, much more-whether or not we have anything real to back it.

Likewise, our technology allows us to do much, much more-whether or not we have the knowledge to back it. But just as the credit card sucks away the borrower's cash and freedom, excessive doing leaves the mind vacant, clueless, and increasingly dependent on, well, ”doing.” We sit down to think, we become anxious, we pop up again and get busy to restore the feeling feeling that we're going somewhere. We have no idea where, but at least we're going there. that we're going somewhere. We have no idea where, but at least we're going there.

To achieve, you need thought. You have to know what you are doing and that's real power.

-Ayn Rand THE TICKING BOMB MODEL.

Introverts have a hard time keeping up, and this may be our salvation-and society's society's salvation. Introverts shut down when there's too much stimulation. We don't have much choice. A red light flashes, ”OVERLOAD,” and we know it's time to pull back and think. The only problem is, we don't have salvation. Introverts shut down when there's too much stimulation. We don't have much choice. A red light flashes, ”OVERLOAD,” and we know it's time to pull back and think. The only problem is, we don't have time. time. Or at least that's what we're told. Or at least that's what we're told.

We have built an entire mythology around the idea that there is no time, using phrases like ”running out of time” without thought. Do we really run out of time? Or do we run time out? out? And who thought of the term ”deadline”? Are we really supposed to be motivated by fear, by the idea that there is not enough, by poverty? When I published my first book and we were doing my final revisions, I was floored when the editor nonchalantly informed me of the ” And who thought of the term ”deadline”? Are we really supposed to be motivated by fear, by the idea that there is not enough, by poverty? When I published my first book and we were doing my final revisions, I was floored when the editor nonchalantly informed me of the ”drop dead date”-the date when everything, absolutely, had to be in. This was a real industry term! But the a.s.sociations between unproductive time and death don't stop there. Stop to reflect, and you are ”killing time.” Such violent language is enough to make anyone anxious! date”-the date when everything, absolutely, had to be in. This was a real industry term! But the a.s.sociations between unproductive time and death don't stop there. Stop to reflect, and you are ”killing time.” Such violent language is enough to make anyone anxious!

In our culture, time is chopped up into portions. Time starts and stops, and all along the time bomb ticks. We feel immense guilt if we don't produce in the allotted time chunk. Work starts when the clock says it's time, and it is imperative that you start, too. In our society, time is rigid, stingy, and running out.

It is useful to make agreements about time, and I'll be the first to admit that having a ”deadline” helps-but then again, it's the only system I know. But do we really need to be threatened? Have we lost all trust in the creative process?

FROM DEADLINE TO BIRTH TIME.

What if we called the target date the ”birth time” instead? Birthing happens when the project-the baby-is ready. ready. Most of the work happens inside, naturally. The pressure builds until that little life Most of the work happens inside, naturally. The pressure builds until that little life has to has to come out. But, as opposed to a come out. But, as opposed to a deadline, deadline, the pressure is the pressure is internal. internal. A terrified woman in the throes of labor may want to call the whole thing off, but the creative process takes over, and she is soon looking into the eyes of a completely new human being. A terrified woman in the throes of labor may want to call the whole thing off, but the creative process takes over, and she is soon looking into the eyes of a completely new human being.

Introverts have direct access to this internal power-the power to birth fully formed ideas, insights, and solutions. People ask me how I'm able to come up with enough material to fill a book. I tell them, ”I've been writing this all of my life.” An introvert who sits back in a meeting, taking in the arguments, dreamily reflecting on the big picture, may be seen as not contributing-that is, until he works out the solution that all the contributors missed.

The birthing model not only allows time to think, but it allows time to stay alive. We can't really kill time, and we can't really chop time up. We just don't have that much control. Time is time. It will be there whether we run ourselves ragged or sit on the dock of the bay. And, for introverts especially, this is very good news.

For almost twenty years, I have devoted my psychology practice to ”rehabilitating desire”: helping clients revive desires that have been a.s.saulted by external demands, and restoring their trust in their own desire-based motivation. Though we often think of desire in s.e.xual terms-and s.e.xual desire is a good example of this motivating energy-I use the term in its broader and richer sense. Desire is the seed of intrinsic motivation, the natural impulse to create, to expand, to grow.

People often argue that desire is inherently bad or burdensome, fostering either harmful behavior or greedy consumption. Harmful outcomes do sometimes occur, but they happen when desire is not given the proper attention-and time. A person bent on getting drunk probably does not want to consume toxins and eventually become sick and depressed; she desires a change in her state of mind. She didn't overindulge at all; she underindulged. underindulged. She did not give her desire enough time, thought, or attention. In fact, addictive behaviors usually have more to do with a need to She did not give her desire enough time, thought, or attention. In fact, addictive behaviors usually have more to do with a need to extinguish extinguish desire. The thinking is: ”If I binge, I won't ever be hungry again,” or ”If I build a huge house with everything I need, I will never have to move.” Why in the world would we want to eliminate our experience of hunger or stop exploring new horizons? Because time is running out, of course. We need to figure out how to make babies quicker! desire. The thinking is: ”If I binge, I won't ever be hungry again,” or ”If I build a huge house with everything I need, I will never have to move.” Why in the world would we want to eliminate our experience of hunger or stop exploring new horizons? Because time is running out, of course. We need to figure out how to make babies quicker!

The paradox is, when we use the desire model instead of the death model, everything is easier. Desire, when it is properly nourished, works like pregnancy and birth: once it gets going, there's no stopping it. But birthing requires the capacity to hold, to tolerate the growing pressure of what's inside and to patiently wait until it's ready. This holding capacity is the hallmark of introversion. This holding capacity is the hallmark of introversion. And it's extremely powerful. Here's how it works: And it's extremely powerful. Here's how it works: There is more to life than increasing its speed.

-Gandhi Step 1: Capture your wishful thinking. Pay attention to the times you say to yourself, ”I wish I could ________,” or ”Wouldn't it be nice if __________.” Sometimes the wish will be for something extravagant; other times you will feel the desire to solve a problem or master something you're working on. You may just want a break. Whatever it is, take note of it. Feelings of desire come up multiple times a day, but we often cover them over before we recognize them. You may want to keep a Desire Notebook. Putting your wishes in writing makes them visible and tangible, and helps you notice emerging themes. Pay attention to the times you say to yourself, ”I wish I could ________,” or ”Wouldn't it be nice if __________.” Sometimes the wish will be for something extravagant; other times you will feel the desire to solve a problem or master something you're working on. You may just want a break. Whatever it is, take note of it. Feelings of desire come up multiple times a day, but we often cover them over before we recognize them. You may want to keep a Desire Notebook. Putting your wishes in writing makes them visible and tangible, and helps you notice emerging themes. Warning: Warning: Be prepared for thoughts that interrupt your desiring. They may tell you that what you want is too much to expect, or mockingly ask you, ”Who do you think you are?” Don't let these thoughts trap you. Just return your attention to the desire. Be prepared for thoughts that interrupt your desiring. They may tell you that what you want is too much to expect, or mockingly ask you, ”Who do you think you are?” Don't let these thoughts trap you. Just return your attention to the desire.

Step 2: Look into the desire. When you catch a desire, stay with it. If the desire seems harmful, ask yourself what you're really going for. Cheating on your partner will hurt people (which undermines the desire), but the desire to cheat is telling you something. If you want pa.s.sion, why should you settle for a part-time solution that leaves you feeling guilty? Think bigger. Sometimes we focus our desires on an When you catch a desire, stay with it. If the desire seems harmful, ask yourself what you're really going for. Cheating on your partner will hurt people (which undermines the desire), but the desire to cheat is telling you something. If you want pa.s.sion, why should you settle for a part-time solution that leaves you feeling guilty? Think bigger. Sometimes we focus our desires on an obstacle obstacle to what we want. For example, you may say, ”I want this project done,” when you to what we want. For example, you may say, ”I want this project done,” when you mean mean ”I hate this project and want it out of my life forever.” Or maybe you just want the rest you will earn after completing the project. ”I hate this project and want it out of my life forever.” Or maybe you just want the rest you will earn after completing the project.