Part 78 (1/2)
”Wait, is this from that doctor dude? The one Simone said got in trouble because of you? The white boy?”
”What doctor dude?” Charles frowned. ”White boy?”
”Daddy, you said you wanted to help. I told you before. I need to get to Charleston.”
”You can't leave town, Kim.” Diane stepped in. ”Simone needs you and we got to deal with this place. Besides, you ain't right. You know this.”
Charles looked from his wife to his daughter.
”I can go with her,” Anne volunteered.
”Ain't n.o.body ask you.” Diane rolled her eyes.
”Ma...just stop.”
”Wait. Wait.” Charles waved them silent. ”Di? It might do her some good to take this trip, to see this person.” He frowned at Kim. ”Matt-Matt? Besides, you and I will be here. We'll get them moved out and settled.” He nodded to Kim. ”Whatever you need, I'll take care of it. When do you want to leave?”
”No!” Diane said.
”Soon real soon.” Kim smiled. ”Anne how soon can you go? We may be down there a week or so. Is that okay?”
”What about Kitt? She need you!” Diane reminded her. ”How you gone run out on your sister? And don't front for them. You know I know what you going through. You get down there and that dude don't want you or the boys. What then? I tell you what'll happen, you gone want to use.”
”Wow! Would you calm down? I'm fine. I'll talk to Simone. If she's okay with it, then I'll go. Okay? Trust me just like I've been trusting you since I got out.”
Diane looked away. Charles touched her mother's back and her mother flinched. She walked out. He shook his head. ”Let me deal with your mother. I need some alone time with her.”
The way in which he made the request gave Kim pause. Her father seem to fixate on her mother too soon. But she couldn't get tangled in their love and war struggle. Her father's eyes returned to her. ”When Simone get's home,” He checked his watch, ”we can all sit down and talk.”
The boys laughed, chasing each other around the box. Kim nodded. Again she found it hard to look away from the gift. She thought Mathew hated her. She wanted him to hate her because it kept the silent hoping for more at bay. So what did this mean? That he missed her boys? That he still cared? That he needed closure? Maybe, just maybe Mathew didn't want closure. Maybe he wanted something more?
”Want another?” Scott asked.
Mathew dropped his head back. His eyes closed. The half empty bottle of his fifth beer was slick and cool in his palm. He lifted it in his hand with a mock toast.
”I'm good.” He gave a lopsided grin.
And he was.
An ice-cold one after a day of fis.h.i.+ng and card playing while rolling on the Atlantic waves, was just what the doctor ordered. Mathew inhaled the salty sea air, letting it fill his lungs. The light breeze stirred a mist of cool spray from the ocean that covered him as the sun sunk lower in the clear sky. And his boat swayed. It rocked and bobbed in the deep turquoise blue waters with the rhythm of the sea. He loved sailing and fis.h.i.+ng. He loved the commune when off land just as much as he loved being a surgeon. This is where he found serenity.
”Wow, man, that mackerel. What you think it weigh?” Scott plopped down on the cus.h.i.+on in his deck chair in jeans, a sweat and grime stained s.h.i.+rt that he wiped his hands over each time he skinned a fish. His foot kicked the steel clamp to the hatch of the cooler, causing the catch of the day to slosh in the murky waters that kept them contained.
Mathew shrugged. ”Don't know, twenty maybe thirty pounds.”
”Big f.u.c.ker,” Scott chuckled.
”Yeah, big f.u.c.ker,” Mathew repeated.
They were maybe fifty miles offsh.o.r.e. With the day almost gone and the beer supply depleted, it was time to head back in. Still neither made a move or called it. He checked his watch and finally gave in. ”Guess we need to take it in soon.”
”Yeah, suppose so. Marlene expected us back at six, but maybe we should talk a little first,” Scott said.
Mathew's gaze slipped over to his brother in-law. ”Something botherin' you?”
Scott rested his beer on his knee. He removed his USC cap to wipe at his sweaty brow with the back of his hand. Then he pulled it down on his head again. ”You know your sister. She worries and that means I worry.”
”Here it comes.”
”You got that big trial or whatever pending. Heath done come up there by the house and mention it on more than one occasion,” Scott said.
Mathew nodded. ”So that's what this fis.h.i.+ng trip was about? She thinking that I won't show and you come out here to the ocean to convince me not to back out?”
”Nah, she convinced you gone beat it. Me too. Ain't no doctor better than you, Matt, they knows it.”
”I don't follow,” Mathew answered with a frown.
”She say you hankerin' for something more. Something in New York City?”
Now Mathew did follow. After Barbara's, visit he opened up to his sister. He had to. Keeping his feelings inside was making his bitterness terminal. So he confessed more and more of his desires. The secret wish was that Kimberly Jensen had truly been the one. He told her a little more than he should have of his inner struggles to keep from returning to New York to fight for her, and reasoned that her recovery meant that he stay away.
”Only thing I'm hankerin' for is another beer,” he joked. He retrieved one of the few left from the fridge, giving a toss to the empty one in the trash.
Mathew dropped back on the railing of the boat, crossing his arms over his bare sun-drenched chest. The weight of his family's concerns was becoming a heavier burden than his lovesick heart. He'd already had this talk with his sisters and four of his brothers. It was tiring. ”I know you mean well, Scott. But it's done. In two days, this whole mess is over. I'll either be a doctor or a fisherman. By the looks of that mackerel, I might consider the career change.”
”You saying it's over between you and her? No hope?” Scott asked, steering him back to the topic.
”What does that matter?”
Scott never looked his way. He tugged on the bib of his cap, adjusting it lower on his forehead. Mathew waited. His brother in-law was the only person to give him the s.p.a.ce needed after Barbara and Elaine. He was surprised that even Marlene got him to press this issue. ”I thought we understood each other, Scott. You, of all people, know a woman is the last thing I need.”
”Thing is,” Scott cleared his throat, ”when a woman's under your skin, she just is. If you think pretending it's different will work, well, I think you should just be sure. I was a hard-a.s.s before I understood what your sister meant to me. Almost lost her once. Don't know where I'd be if I hadn't swallowed my pride.”
”But this is different.”
”I'm sure it is. Matt, when this is said and done, you gonna need to start again and get over things.” He cut him a look. ”Man to man. It's time to let some of that stuff with Barbara and Elaine go. You say she the one you want in New York City? Then you go after her and tell her. If she ain't, then you let her go too, but don't leave it hangin'. That's not movin' on. Life is short. That's all I'ma say about that.”
”You don't know her. There's things between us that we can't get past.”
”Cause she black?”
Mathew looked out to the sea. Her color was never an issue. He didn't think his color was an issue. He wished it were. Somehow he felt he could compete with the taboo of interracial dating rather than a dead husband she could never let go of.
”No. It's not her race or mine.”
Scott looked over. ”Then you just a chicken s.h.i.+t.”