Part 73 (1/2)

Charles finally tore his eyes away from his wife to meet Kim's. ”Sweetheart.”

”Don't do that. I'm not your sweetheart or baby-girl. I'm a stranger to you. Like Mama said, it was your choice. But d.a.m.n it, you owe me. You owe all of us the reason!”

”Kim, don't. We didn't come here for this. We came for Daddy's help,” Simone pleaded.

”No!” Kim shook her head hard. ”No! No! No! I'm done pretending. Do you hear me?” She glared at her sister and mother. ”I'm done, I can't. It's killing me. Pretending that what he did never mattered and pretending that Mama's addiction isn't mine.”

”What?” Charles sat forward. ”What do you mean your mother's addiction is yours?”

”Oh that's right, Daddy. You don't know, do you? I'm a drug addict. Different drug same story. Oxycodone, heard of it? It's usually used for-”

”I know what it is!” he shouted. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers and shut his eyes. ”How did this happen? When did this happen? You couldn't be on drugs. Is she?”

”I just got out of rehab. I'm a junkie.” Kim said with a snide smirk.

”Kim, stop,” Simone said, reaching for her hand. ”Not like this.”

”Took an overdose around my babies. Wait you don't know that either? I have sons, two of them. And a dead husband, oh and no job. And yes, yes I'm definitely a junkie. Get this!” She started to laugh. She knew he could see the restraint she imposed to keep her tears from dropping. ”You're going to love this, Daddy. I'm worse than Mom. She never could hold a job so her problem was just your daughters. But me? I did it at work. Can't step foot back into the hospital after what I've done.”

”That's enough, Kim,” Diane said.

”Lost my career over it. The man I love. Oops! That's news to you too. See Dennis was the man that I loved, but he's dead. Then I managed to fall in love again, but you know how that goes, Daddy. He left too. Men never stay. Especially when you are as messed up as the Wilson women.”

”Why didn't you tell me this was going on?” He looked to Diane.

”Don't look at her!” Kim demanded. ”Look at me! ME! You were supposed to be there. You swore you would. To h.e.l.l with this and you. We don't need you. It's too late!” She stood. ”Let's go.”

”Wait!” Simone pleaded.

”Wait.” Charles was to his feet. He took hold of Kim's arms. When she pushed back, he held her, brought her to him. Kim cringed inside. ”I'm sorry you were hurt, baby-girl. So sorry. It wasn't because I didn't love you. Never, not a moment or day has pa.s.sed that I haven't loved you.”

She shoved him off. ”Right, because when you love someone you walk out on them.”

”Look at me. Listen to me.” She did as he asked. ”You're right. Leaving was my fault. Blame me, but hurting yourself has to stop. Is that why you came today? To tell me about the overdose?” He tried again to bring her into his arms.

”Let me go.” She s.n.a.t.c.hed free.

Charles sighed. He dropped his hands. ”It's time they knew the truth, Di.”

”That you're a loser.” Diane mumbled. ”They already know that, Charles.”

Charles smiled at his wife. ”You know what I mean.”

Simone turned on the seat cus.h.i.+on to address her mother. ”You said he left us. You cried yourself to sleep for months. Is there something else, Mama?”

Diane's eyes never lifted from her lap. ”He did leave. The b.a.s.t.a.r.d.”

”That's not an answer,” Simone said.

”I left because I had to. I got caught up. I had to make a choice, a bad choice. A choice I couldn't undo, though I wanted to. Many times over the years I wanted to.”

”What does that mean?” Kim threw her hands upward. ”We're grown women now, Daddy, with problems of our own. We can handle yours. h.e.l.l we lived with Mama's.”

Charles looked to his wife again. As if the telling of the story was theirs and not his alone. This only infuriated Kim more. Even when Diane was sober she was consistent on one thing, her pain over his abandonment. If it were anything different surely her mother would have said something after all these years. Kim watched them both. She and Simone waited through the tension until their father finally spoke again.

”The job, the sanitation company I worked for was run by some bad people. People that I never wanted around any of you.”

”The sanitation department is run by the city of New York.” Kim corrected him. ”Who was the boogieman? Mayor Koch?” Kim waved his answer off.

”Yes it was. I mean is. But the union subsidized for certain jobs, off the books. It was the eighties, baby. We were in a recession. Things were tight for everyone.” He looked over again to Diane. ”We needed the money. Your mother wasn't well after you were born, Kim, but she got worst after Simone was born. Her depression, her medication, the alcohol. I was juggling it all and it was killing me.”

Diane finally looked up and met his stare. It was Charles's turn to look away. ”So I did things to make sure we had what we needed. There's always a price to be paid. Nothing in life comes easy, at least not for us.” Charles shook his head. ”My choices. Things went down. I was in the middle. They threatened my girls, all three of you. I had the choice between a bullet to the head or doing what they said and protecting you. So I protected you. I did everything to protect you, and that meant I couldn't be there. I know that's hard to understand but it's what had to be done. Right, Di?”

”Whateva,” Diane shrugged.

”You broke Mama's heart. You broke all of our hearts because your life was in danger? That makes no sense,” Simone said, looking between her parents.

”That's not what he's saying, Kitt.” Kim stepped toward him. She looked her father up and down. ”He chose to work for these people or with them if they kept away from us. He didn't do it to save his life. He sure as h.e.l.l didn't do it to protect us. He did it for this. All of this.” Kim looked around. ”Isn't that it? You did it to become the Charles Wilson.”

”I took care of you. I made sure you had what you needed,” her father said.

”We needed you!” Kim shouted at him. ”Mama's sick. She was sick, and she never stopped loving you. Never stopped reminding us how you left us. You think she handled it well? That we were better off? No calls? No nothing?”

”There's a lot more to it, Kim,” Diane sighed.

”It doesn't matter!”

”Hush now!” Diane snapped. ”It does. I'm sorry, baby, but it does. That night you said he put you to bed and went away. That was the night people came to the house with guns. Italians. They nearly killed him in front of me. They took him away.” Diane looked at Charles. ”I didn't know what happened to him for weeks and I couldn't call the police. I couldn't do anything. And when he did come back...”

”Wait, came back?” Simone interjected.

”He said it wasn't safe for us, but he found a way. Leave New York, and run with him. Maybe come back some day. I dunno. I was angry. The alcohol it always makes it worse. I told him no. He said he wouldn't leave without us. That's what he said then.”

”Then?” Kim frowned.

Diane shook her head. ”I made it worse. I wouldn't let him take you. He couldn't trust me to do what he wanted and I couldn't trust him not to hurt us again, lie to us again.” Diane gave her daughters a pained look. ”He sent money. He kept promising to make it right. He didn't! Two years later, I find out he had another woman, probably had her all along. Dirty b.a.s.t.a.r.d.”

”That's not what she was, Di. Not like that. You twisted things in your head because of the booze.”

”To h.e.l.l with you! It's the truth. You were with her and I was left to try to take care of my babies.”

”I made sure you had money,” Charles said.

”You were my husband! Mine! Their father! You said you would fix it. You just started over without us.”

”I tried,” Charles said.

”Bulls.h.i.+t!”