Part 16 (1/2)

My heart sank. Anytime a call came after 10:00 P.M P.M., I panicked, thinking it might be Laura. But I wasn't expecting to hear from her so soon after her last call less than two weeks ago.

”Answer it, d.a.m.n it!” I screamed. ”It might be her!”

The ringing stopped before Paul could get to it.

I knew it was Laura. I ran out of the bathroom, went straight for my bag, and dug out my phone. I was right.

”Li, it's me,” said Laura's little voice on the voice mail. ”I'm sorry I missed you. I hope they let me call you back, and I hope you are home. I love you so, so much.”

I let out a scream and started wailing ferociously. I had been so religious about keeping my phone right next to me for months. Paul held me as I blubbered into his chest. It was only the fourth time my sister had been able to call me in four months, and I was so mad at myself for missing it. I dialed Iain, who didn't pick up the phone. He must have been on with Laura. I sent him a text message immediately: If you're on with her, please tell her to call me back.

LAURA.

AFTER NOT REACHING L LISA, I carefully dialed my mom's number and was disappointed when it too went to voice mail. Then I tried my dad. No answer. Suddenly I was terrified that if I wasn't able to reach anyone, I might not be allowed to make another call. I was scared that my final chance to communicate with my family was disappearing with each ring. Finally I dialed Iain and heard his sweet, raspy voice on the other end of the line. I carefully dialed my mom's number and was disappointed when it too went to voice mail. Then I tried my dad. No answer. Suddenly I was terrified that if I wasn't able to reach anyone, I might not be allowed to make another call. I was scared that my final chance to communicate with my family was disappearing with each ring. Finally I dialed Iain and heard his sweet, raspy voice on the other end of the line.

There was, for the first time, a tinge of optimism in his voice. I knew he and the rest of my family were just waiting for the North Koreans to accept Carter as an envoy. But it would just be a matter of seconds before I shattered what little hope he had.

I told him I had been wrong in saying that the North Koreans would accept President Carter as an envoy, and after thinking about it, I now realized it had to be President Clinton. Iain's response was filled with confusion, but I could tell that was a way of hiding his disappointment. Not wanting me to feel bad or to worry, he a.s.sured me that everything would be okay.

Iain's primary concern was that I might be transferred to another location or to the labor camp. As long as I was in my current location in Pyongyang, he could feel fairly certain that I wasn't being mistreated. He feared that once they moved us, it would not only be harder, if not impossible, for me to communicate with them, but it might be a sign that the window for diplomacy had ended. ”You have to tell them that if they move you, it is going to change the dynamics, and it will be harder for us to get them what they want. We are working very hard on this. But if they move you, it's going to make things even harder.”

”I think they've heard you,” I said, referring to the people monitoring our every word.

”Yeah, I know, but just stress to them how important it is,” he said desperately.

At the end of the call, I told Iain I was going to try to call Lisa again and that he should call her in about twenty minutes to compare notes. Hanging up the phone with Iain was devastating. I truly felt I might not get to communicate with him again for a long, long time.

Then I dialed Lisa's number, praying she would pick up. She answered immediately.

LISA.

I STARED AT THE PHONE STARED AT THE PHONE for a half hour. Just after I asked Paul if he thought Laura would be able to call me again, the phone rang. It was her. for a half hour. Just after I asked Paul if he thought Laura would be able to call me again, the phone rang. It was her.

”Baby Girl, we achieved what you asked for,” I excitedly explained. ”And President Carter has agreed to go.”

”Lisa, I made a mistake,” she said, sounding defeated. ”It has to be Bill Clinton.”

I went ballistic. Did these people understand what it took to get these high-level people on board? Did they know what kinds of egos they were bruising-I was bruising? What kind of sick game were they trying to play? Frustrated by the enormity of the request and how often it seemed to change, I blurted out, ”Who's telling you this?”

Paul elbowed me aggressively and covered the receiver. ”You can't ask her that. You'll get her in trouble,” he said gruffly.

After a slight pause, Laura responded, ”I cannot speak for the North Korean people, but this is what I feel in my heart and in my gut.”

I wanted to scream. I couldn't figure out if these requests were based on Laura's whim or if someone else had dictated them. ”Laura, your other option was just presented three days ago, on Wednesday,” I explained, wondering if her captors might not have received the communication. ”Did you know that?”

”If you haven't heard anything”-she paused-”it must mean something.”

It was all starting to add up. This was how the North Koreans operated. They were masters of indirect communication. Early on, Governor Richardson's contacts seemed to entertain the notion of a visit by him, but then everything went dark. I had later learned that a detailed trip by Al Gore was actually presented, and then all talk of it ceased. I imagined that was about the time I got a call from Laura saying that Gore was too closely linked with Current TV. Both Richardson and Gore practically had their bags packed and were ready at a moment's notice to go and then silence. It became clear that in North Korea, they don't say no-they just say nothing.

Laura had made the request for Bill Clinton. But how could I know this was it? What if they kept upping the ante and asked for the secretary of state or even President Obama? There was no chance in h.e.l.l that either would get on a plane to rescue two journalists inside a country that was taunting the United States and antagonizing much of the rest of the world. During my three previous conversations with Laura, I had made fervent promises that I would work my hardest to fulfill the requests she had made. I wanted my sister to know that she could count on me, and that I would be unwavering in my efforts to get her out. But I wondered if I was being taken advantage of by this bizarre regime. Every time ”they” asked for something, we delivered. This time I had to act differently. I had to manage expectations. I would, of course, push relentlessly to see if Bill Clinton would go there, but I couldn't allow the North Koreans to think it was going to be easy.

”Laura, this is a very complicated request,” I warned. ”I just don't know if I can pull this one off, sweetheart. I don't know if you realize how hard this will be or if we can achieve it at all. He's the husband of the secretary of state, and what would this mean for Vice President Gore?” I added.

Then, in the most definitive voice she had ever used in all of our conversations, my sister replied, ”Li, this is the best and last option.”

Laura started to cry. I could feel the pain in her voice through the phone, and I wanted to reach through and pull her to me.

In closing, she uttered the following last words: ”They say they are ready to send me to the labor camp, and I am mentally preparing to go. Please do what you can to see if President Clinton would be willing to act as an envoy. Make this your main goal. I love you so much.”

I hung up the phone and gave myself a few minutes before calling my parents and Iain. Laura had not reached my mom or dad that night, only Iain, and she had conveyed the same message to him: it had to be Bill Clinton. I called Michael to see if Euna had asked for the same thing, and she had not. There had been no mention of Bill Clinton from her.

Iain and I discussed whether we should call Al Gore to let him know what Laura had just requested. Laura had already said that he would not be accepted because of his a.s.sociation with Current TV. I first sent an urgent text message to Kurt, who called me the next morning. I told him that Laura said she had messed up and that Bill Clinton was the last and final option.

”What about Carter? We just presented him a couple days ago,” Kurt asked. I could sense the frustration in his voice.

”Laura said that if there is no response, that means something,” I said.

He got it. He told me he would alert his colleagues in the State Department but said the thing we all thought-”This one is complicated.”

LAURA.

LIKE I IAIN, LISA WAS optimistic at the beginning of the call, and I hated taking that away with my news. I figured that she too had been guardedly preparing for our homecoming. But once I told her that President Carter was no longer an option, her confusion and disappointment came through in her panicked voice and hit me in the gut. optimistic at the beginning of the call, and I hated taking that away with my news. I figured that she too had been guardedly preparing for our homecoming. But once I told her that President Carter was no longer an option, her confusion and disappointment came through in her panicked voice and hit me in the gut.

”First Al wasn't the right person, and now Carter. How do you know Clinton will be acceptable?” she asked desperately.

Borrowing the prosecutor's words, I said with conviction, ”I strongly believe he's our best and last option.”

On the ride back to the compound, I was glad I had a chance to speak with Mr. Baek, who had been listening in on my call. I asked him what he thought of the exchange.

”You did a good job,” he responded encouragingly. ”Are you sure you weren't really sent here to bring our two countries together?” He smirked.

Of all the people I had encountered in North Korea, Mr. Baek, who had met many foreigners over the years, was the most supportive of normalizing relations between our two countries.

I laughed. ”Well, if everything works out, then I'll believe that things happen for a reason. But if I end up going to prison for twelve years, then I won't believe in anything anymore.”

It was true. I did hope that our captivity might open the door to some forward movement between the United States and North Korea, two countries whose troops had been opposing each other for the past six decades and with a shared history of animosity, mistrust, and failed promises. But while I held out hope that President Clinton would come to Pyongyang to rescue us, my faith was beginning to diminish.

LISA.

WEEKS WENT BY AFTER Laura's call and plea for President Clinton. She had made herself very clear, and our family began pressing the State Department to get answers about whether the former president could go. It was such a challenging request that Kurt was no longer made aware of the conversations taking place about it. Laura's request was now in the hands of the highest levels of government, and it was being discussed among a small and exclusive circle of people. Laura's call and plea for President Clinton. She had made herself very clear, and our family began pressing the State Department to get answers about whether the former president could go. It was such a challenging request that Kurt was no longer made aware of the conversations taking place about it. Laura's request was now in the hands of the highest levels of government, and it was being discussed among a small and exclusive circle of people.

In both our family conference calls and separate, private calls with me, Kurt said he had confirmed through his sources that the envoy had to be Bill Clinton. He told me that messages were being communicated from Pyongyang that they would wait as long as they needed to in order to get what they wanted. And the only thing they wanted was Clinton.

In my last call with my sister, she told me that the prosecutor was very aggressive and had been accompanying her to her medical evaluations. She said he was intent on making sure she was well enough to be sent to a labor camp. If she were indeed sent to the camp, hope of seeing her in the foreseeable future would be lost. No American had ever been sent to a North Korean labor camp before, but this was the first time one had ever been sentenced to serve in one. This was all new.

WE WERE NEARING THE END of July and then something came at me from left field. Through a contact who works with the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, I had heard some buzz that Senator John Kerry had volunteered himself to pay a visit to North Korea to try to bring home Laura and Euna. I reached out to the senator's senior East Asia policy adviser, Frank Jannuzi, who, to my surprise, confirmed that the North Korean leaders.h.i.+p had accepted a private trip by the senator, independent of the State Department. They had even gone so far as to identify some possible dates in early August. Senator Kerry was trying hard to secure a commitment from the North Korean government that if he did travel to Pyongyang he would not return empty-handed. At the request of the National Security Council, Jannuzi had been coordinating exclusively with the White House on the possible Kerry mission, aware that separate, but parallel, efforts were also under way. of July and then something came at me from left field. Through a contact who works with the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, I had heard some buzz that Senator John Kerry had volunteered himself to pay a visit to North Korea to try to bring home Laura and Euna. I reached out to the senator's senior East Asia policy adviser, Frank Jannuzi, who, to my surprise, confirmed that the North Korean leaders.h.i.+p had accepted a private trip by the senator, independent of the State Department. They had even gone so far as to identify some possible dates in early August. Senator Kerry was trying hard to secure a commitment from the North Korean government that if he did travel to Pyongyang he would not return empty-handed. At the request of the National Security Council, Jannuzi had been coordinating exclusively with the White House on the possible Kerry mission, aware that separate, but parallel, efforts were also under way.