Part 46 (1/2)

Despite mammy's art, the supper was a sad affair. It was not the sadness of close-knitted hearts about to part that seized upon the company. Love can thrive on the bitter-sweet of that pain. It was a deeper sadness--the sadness that in evil hours seizes upon the individual soul and says: ”You stand alone. From this desert place of the mind you can flee by the road of any trifling distraction, but into it no companion ever enters. You stand alone.” ”I myself,” cries the soul of man, and recoils from that brink of infinite distance. Such was the mood that Leighton had imposed on those he touched that day, for, while he could take no company into his desert place, by simply going there he could drive the rest each to his far wilderness.

After supper they sat long in a silence without communion. It became unbearable. In such an hour bodily nearness becomes a repulsion. Lewis rebelled. He looked indignantly at Natalie. She too was young. Why did not her youth revolt? But Natalie wasn't feeling young that night. She did not answer his look.

”Dad,” said Lewis, ”I think we'd better go. We have to make an early start.”

”All right,” said Leighton, listlessly. ”Tell Silas.”

Lewis rose and turned to Natalie.

”Aren't you coming?” he asked.

Natalie got up slowly, and drew a filmy white scarf--a cloud, she called it--about her shoulders. There seemed an alien chill in the air.

As they walked toward the barn, a memory that had been playing hide-and-seek with Lewis's mind throughout the evening suddenly met him full in the face of thought. He stopped and stared at Natalie. She was dressed in red. What was it they had called that birthday dress of long ago? Accordion silk. The breeze caught Natalie's skirt and played with it, opening out the soft pleats and closing them again. The breeze seized upon the ends of the cloud and lifted them fitfully as though they were wings too tired for full flight.

”Nat,” whispered Lewis, ”You remember the night I left Nadir. Is it the same dress?”

”Silly,” said Natalie, smiling faintly. ”I've grown ten inches since then.”

Lewis reached out slowly and took her hands. How he remembered that good-by, every bit of it! Natalie's hands gripping his shoulders, his arms about her twitching, warm body, his face buried in her fragrant hair! But to-night her hands were cold and trembling to withdrawal. He felt withdrawal in her whole body, so close to him, so far away. Why was she so far away? Suddenly he remembered yesterday--the moment when the stranger woman had looked out at him from Natalie's eyes. She was far away because they two had traveled far from childhood.

His own hands were hot. They were eager to seize Natalie, to drag himself back, and her with him, into childhood's land of faith. But he knew he had not the strength for that. He had only the strength to drop her cold hands and to turn and shout for Silas.

On the way home Lewis plunged rebelliously against his father's mood.

”Dad,” he said, ”do you think Natalie belongs to the Old Guard?”

”The Old Guard?” repeated Leighton, vacantly. Then a gleam of-light dawned in his eyes. ”Your little pal--the Old Guard. No, she doesn't belong in the way of a recruit; she hasn't joined the ranks. Do you want to know why? Because, boy, your little pal and women like her are the foundation, the life's blood, of the Old Guard. She doesn't have to join. She is, was, and always will be the Old Guard itself. In her single heart she holds the seven worlds of women.”

”But, Dad,” said Lewis, half turning in his seat, ”you don't know Natalie. You've never once talked to her.”

Leighton shrugged his shoulders.

”I've met lots of men that know G.o.d; I've never seen one that could prove him. I know Natalie better--better----” Then suddenly his mind trailed off to its desert place. He would speak no more that night.

The next day they were off. Action and movement brought a measure of relief from the very start. Leighton glanced almost eagerly from the windows of the hurrying train, watching for the sudden turn and the new view. There remained in his eyes, however, a desperate question. Was ”going away” still the sovereign cure?

At New York a cable awaited him. He opened it, read it, and turned bruskly to Lewis.

”I'm not going to London,” he said. ”I'm going to Naples direct. Old Ivory will wait for me there. You'll be going to London, I suppose.”

For the first time Lewis felt far away from his father. He flushed. He felt like crying, because it came upon him suddenly that he was far away from his father, that they had been traveling different roads for many days. Pride came to his aid.

”Yes,” he said, steadily, ”I shall go to London.”

Leighton nodded and turned to Nelton. He gave him a string of rapid orders, to which Nelton answered with his frequent and unfailing: ”Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.”

”Wait here,” said Leighton. ”I'm going to answer this.”