Chapter 91 - Dont Know What to Say (1/2)

While the four were enjoying their lunch and having excited chatters here and there, they didn't notice Tian Yuo watching them from upstairs. His eyes narrowed as he stared at Susu's every movement. The hot cup of coffee that he bought was already cold and he didn't know how long he had been standing there.

He asked himself, ”Did I start watching them when they first got their seats? Or was it when they were looking at different menus? Or was it way before that?” Nobody could tell what he was thinking at the moment. He wasn't sure either. It was as if he was waiting for any one of those four to notice him or something.

Seeing Chen Mu and Susu together felt like needles prickling through his heart. Something was aching and he didn't want to acknowledge what he had lost. When he saw how Chen M's arms were wrapped intimately around her waist and the sides of their heads bumped against each other as they laughed, it reminded him of the past when she was still by his side.

A small curve tilted on his lips, but more sighs followed as he shook his head. ”Why am I here watching them like a stalker for? When I had her, I didn't treat her right. When she was caring for me, I pushed her away and hurt her repeatedly for years. Even if I go to her now and tell her that I finally realize that I love her, miss her, and want her back in my life...It seems to be too late already.”

As he mumbled to himself, Karen read his lips from a distance and walked over. She interrupted his conversation to himself, ”Of course it is too late. It's been so late because you only have liked me since the beginning. I am the one whom you're supposed to be missing and loving. Didn't you always hate her for what she's ever done to me? My childhood?”

Tian Yuo's eyes continued watching the silly, innocent girl who was slurping her pink drink from the lower level. ”You're right. Since the beginning I've looked at you, and that is precisely why I'm regretting right now. I wonder if I never did what I had done for these years then how happy would I be now? What if I've focused only on her while she reciprocated the same feelings or even more? Would our ending be different than right now?”

”Tian Yuo! There are no hypothetical situations like these! Don't forget that you must take responsibility for me. You can't be thinking about somebody else like that! Remember us? All those happy times? I'm the only one who stood by your side and made you feel secured. I am the woman who loves you the most in this world and is standing in front of your eyes!”

”And what if I tell you that those feelings were just built from lies and actually similar to wafer thin ice? I never forgot the promises that I've once said to you. I've always supported you even when you were a bit spoiled at times. I thought that I could be the one to provide you what you were missing. Relationsh.i.p.s can never live on lies because lies will only be covered up with the next lie from your mouth. Do you understand?”

After holding onto the cup of coffee for some time now, he finally took his first sip. He felt drained of energy once he heard Karen's voice. It felt so tiring that he needed some energy booster to make this conversation last because he knew it is an important talk that they need.

”You're saying all these bullshit responses just because you are temporarily feeling lost after seeing her win the competition!If it was me who won, then -” his body was in the same posture, but his eyes were now staring at her sharply.

”You just said no hypothetical questions. Besides, even if you won today, those designs didn't belong to you. Even if you gained recognition from this, customers will detect the differences between your contest designs and boutique ones. Sooner or later, you would end up with no customers. It's even better this way that she won. It saves you a lot more time to improve your skills.”

His words were straightforward; not providing her the comfort that she expected. ”So between her and me, you chose her, huh?!”

”It's not about who I choose or didn't choose. Everyone has to take responsibility for what they've done. This is something that people learn in their lives. You wouldn't be an exception either. If I wasn't so blinded by your words since young... If I even took a few minutes of my past years to look at Susu... Perhaps we would be together right now. Perhaps it would be me wiping her lips for her and making her laugh.”