Chapter 83 - A Great Way to start the New Year (1/2)

* Author's thank you note to all readers before getting on with the new chapter *

To my dearest readers, before I get on with this chapter, I would like to thank all of you for reading my novels and hoping to write more goodies for everyone to read. There were many up and downs and low points for me in the year of 2019 and even before that, but I managed to knock down every obstacle along the way and continue fighting them as problems persist.

Recently, I've been asked by a former classmate for why I strived to continue writing despite not earning any money from it. I've been somewhat wanting to tell my readers this part for a while, but wasn't sure when would be a good time to talk about it. For those who want to skip the remaining part of my message, because the upcoming paragraphs will be a little bit about myself, you are allowed to do so. For other readers who continues reading the rest of this note, I'll like to say thank you because it means a lot to me. Regardless, this author loves all of you dearly!

*Ahem* A little story time. At first, I was one of the readers who enjoyed the content that this platform provided. From being a reader to writing my own novels today, it feels just like it was yesterday when I opened my laptop and started typing the first chapter of my first novel. Behind all these wild, romantic, gruesome, and whatever kind of tags my stories bring up, I do have a personal back story to share.

I won't get into specific details, but to sum it up, I once had a relationship that lasted almost three years and at that beginning. I thought it would last much longer. With all the funny and goofy parts to relationsh.i.p.s after the honeymoon phase, mine was rather the opposite. The beginning of the relationship was a good one, but as college life began and our busy schedules chipped out like half the amount of time we spent with each other; the relationship turned for the worst. My ex-boyfriend became abusive, which I wouldn't drag on the details.

I came to a realization that it was a toxic relationship and no longer how it used to be. When I finally had the courage to break things off with him around two years ago (trust me, much harder than it sounds.), I was in a miserable state. He would harass me through emails and every social media platform that he could contact me on. Literally, living became painful for me. I felt anxious, scared, and looked down on myself.

I had close friends, but because I trapped myself inside the corner of my little world from the abusive two years (almost three) my mindset made me underestimate myself and the people around me. I became insecure and couldn't bring myself to talk about why I was feeling such fear and pain.

This might be a bit awkward or make some feel disturbed, but there was a point where I locked myself in the bathroom and kept hearing the vibrations to my cellphone; knowing that it was my ex who was sending me paragraphs of rage. I even had the message typed up of getting back together with him, but I was very proud that I backspaced it. From limiting myself to two options of either giving in to his rage by getting back together with him or harming myself; I gathered my courage and called a friend for help. I didn't understand why but that one friend gave me a sense of security that I felt like I could depend on.

I removed all my social media accounts that my ex knew of and slowly tried to face my fear. After nine months of struggling through emotionally and physically in finding reasons to be happy and out of fear, I finally came out of my comfort zone and told my close friend everything. There were no tears that I had expected myself to have. There were no awkwardnesses like I thought there would be. There was nothing, but a great listener and attentive close friend whom comforted me and talked to me in a way without judging me. There was still anxiety at that point, but I knew it was up to me to overcome that fear.

Anyways, I started writing my novels because I wanted to find an outlet for my problems. Everything and every single word that I write out are based on people that I've met or just characters with personalities similar to those whom I've met. From writing my first few chapters to reaching my 200th chapter... to this third novel, it's been a long way. From seeing one comment to many comments that followed and the many readers who added my novel to their libraries. I felt happy. It gave me support and something to look forward to.

Though the past years had been a struggle for me and an internal fight, I could definitely pat my chest and say that it was a fight that I've won. For those who ever encountered or know that their friends or family members who have been through or is going through something similar, please let them know that they are not the only ones out there. It is okay to feel weak and helpless. It is okay to not to feel okay and cry out sometimes. It is alright to take your time and sort things out, but one thing that should never be a solution is harming yourself.

Before I processed that the past relationship was an abusive one, my brain was only processing the words that he would say to me and undermine me as a human being. I had low esteem and confidence, but things went very much better. It was a difficult time to get through, but like an old saying goes, there is always a rainbow after a rainstorm. And the day will get brighter.

As a writer on this platform, I really loved and enjoyed all my readers support. Thank very much for coming such a long way with me and the new readers who supports my novel. I'm sorry this half of the chapter is literally me blabbing about myself, but spare me as this is my New Years note for all of you. I love you all dearly and a lot. Your support means a lot to me, and you guys are my inspiration to writing more and more stories. My motivation also came from my close friend who endlessly supported me even though most would tell me that it is useless because I earn nothing from this. But to me, money is never the most important.

I wish everyone a Happy New Years and may all your goals for this year come true. I wish everyone will live their year filled with smiles on their faces and the fullest of many years to come.

My upcoming 2020 year will be a busy one as I will be job hunting and trying to figure out what I want to do in the future. I will try my best to give consistent updates and believe me, this author likes writing these novels to get away from stress even if it is temporarily.

P.S. Lily and Susu's friendship is actually like my close friend's relationship with me. We get mushy enough to say those... lines or even worst.. HAHAHAHA Lily's character inspiration came from her. Hehehe Thank you for reading my New Years note! And here's the chapter that I've been keeping y'all from~

CHAPTER BEGINS HERE XD !!!

Upon entering their condo, Susu noticed the decorations in the living room. They stripped off their jackets and hung it up on the hooks by the wall. She walked into the open kitchen and saw a cake on the dining table.

While she was out today, Chen Mu bought ingredients to make a New Years cake for her. He baked a mufti flavored layer cake with her favorite Chocolate, Red Velvet, and Vanilla flavors as individual layers and homemade Passionfruit Cream as a coat on top. On top of the cake was neatly cut strawberries creating a heart shape and a chocolate sign in the center with his script writing, ”My 2020 vision is you.”

She giggled and covered her cheeks in surprise, ”you are so cheesy!”

His arms wrapped around her body, as he bent forward and whispered to her ears, ”It's true, though. With you by my side for the rest of every day, everything is perfect. 2020 perfections. Get it?”

”Pfffft, geez. How did you have the time to prepare all these?” She leaned her head backwards and turned her head sideways; meeting his lips. Her eyes focused on his cold, slightly dry lips. His gaze traveled downwards, following her eyes, ”when you least expect it.”

”Your lips are chapped.” She looked at him with a naughty smile on her face.

”and what are you going to do about it?” He asked with anticipation in his voice.

”This.” She opened her purse, applied lip balm on her own lips and pulled him close with her hand behind his neck. Her lips spread the moisturizing lip balm over his and slowly nourished it. She made sure to kiss him until his lips turned soft and smooth enough for her to part from.

”There, all good,” her thumb rubbed his lips back and forth while her smile was obvious on her face. He chuckled and hugged her close, ”Do you remember our first kiss?”