Part 16 (2/2)
”But it is not so. We have our work in the world just as before, and you have your preparation for it.”
”But I cannot make myself care for anything as I used to do.”
”There must be something wrong then, Davie, my boy.”
”Everything is wrong, I think, mamma.”
”If _one_ thing is wrong, nothing can be right, David,” said his mother, stooping down and kissing him softly. ”What did your father wish first for his son?”
”That I should be a good soldier of Jesus Christ. I know that, mamma.”
”And you have been forgetting this? That hast not changed, Davie.”
”No, mamma--but--I am so good for nothing. You don't know--”
”Yes, I know. But then it is not one's worth that is to be considered, dear. The more worthless and helpless we are, the more we need to be made His who is worthy. And Davie, what do we owe to 'Him who loved us, and gave Himself for us?'”
”Ourselves, mamma, our life, our love--”
”And have you given Him these?”
”I don't know, mamma.”
”And are you content not to know?”
”I am not content--but how am I to know, mamma,” said David, rising and kneeling down on the broad stone beside her. ”May I tell you something?
It was that night--at the very last--papa asked me if I was ready to put on the armour he was laying down; and I said yes; and, mamma, I meant it. I wished to do so, oh, so much!--but everything has been so miserable since then--”
”And don't you wish it still, my son?”
”Mamma, I know there is nothing else that, is any good, but I cannot make myself care for it as I did then.”
”David,” said his mother, ”do you love Jesus?”
”Yes, mamma, indeed I love Him. I know Him to be worthy of my love.”
”And you desire to be His servant to honour Him, and do His will?”
”Yes, mamma, if I only knew the way.”
”David, it was His will that papa should be taken from us; but you are angry at our loss.”
”Angry! oh, mamma!”
”You are not submissive under His will. You fail to have confidence in His love, or His wisdom, or in His care for you. You think that in taking him He has made a mistake or been unkind.”
”I know I am all wrong, mamma.”
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