Part 12 (1/2)
The noises from next door stopped, but the silence that followed was even more unbearable.
I looked up at her, and she batted her eyelashes at me. She wanted me, too. That was clear and making this so much harder.
I started picking at the lint on my comforter to distract myself from the need building inside of me. It really wasn't working because my mind started going in a different direction. All I could think about was whether or not she was a virgin. Even though she was probably too old to have not had s.e.x, she gave off a vibe of purity and s.e.xual naivety. Maybe if she were a virgin, it would help convince little Jake down there that things couldn't go any further anyway, regardless of my holding back.
It was against my better judgment, but I said it anyway. ”I bet that p.r.i.c.k ex-boyfriend of yours sucked in bed.”
She looked shocked at my a.s.sertion. After a few seconds, she said, ”Actually, he did...big-time.”
Okay. Question answered.
My body went rigid as I sat up straighter. ”So, you have had s.e.x.”
”What's that supposed to mean?” She laughed nervously.
”See, now I've made you blush. I'm sorry. You just strike me as a certain kind of girl.”
”What kind of girl is that?”
”It's nothing bad. Just...innocent...maybe a virgin.” I looked up at the ceiling. What the f.u.c.k did I get myself into with this conversation? Just tell her the truth. ”The kind of girl that guys like me are dying to corrupt.”
She wasn't saying anything. The mood s.h.i.+fted again and grew even tenser. I backed away against the headboard to keep my distance because my willpower was dwindling fast.
Then, she cleared her throat. ”Well, in answer to your question...yes, I have had s.e.x, but it was just with him.”
”He was your only, and he sucked in bed? That's unfortunate.”
”Yeah. It was unfortunate. I never even actually...you know...with him.”
”You never what?” I asked. As I looked at her expression, what she meant suddenly dawned on me. My smile faded. Holy s.h.i.+t. No. My voice went low in disbelief. ”You never came? You never even had an o.r.g.a.s.m?”
She shook her head. ”Not from another person.”
Whatever reserve I had built up was destroyed in that moment as images of Nina touching herself flooded my brain. All of the blood in my body rushed straight to my d.i.c.k.
I started attacking the lint on my comforter again as if that were going to help. My d.i.c.k was completely hard now, and there was nowhere to run and nothing I could do. Either I was looking at her beautiful, wanting eyes, hard nipples or thinking about her getting herself off. It was a blue b.a.l.l.s trifecta.
My c.o.c.k twitched as I imagined her eyes closed, spread eagle, c.l.i.t glistening, pleasuring herself. What did she think about in that pretty little head of hers when she did it? I wanted it to be me. Why was I torturing myself, asking her these questions? Still, I wanted to hear more. If I couldn't touch her, I d.a.m.n well wanted material for later. I needed to hear more. So, I kept on with it.
”So, you come when you touch yourself...”
”Yeah,” she simply said.
f.u.c.k.
I closed my eyes for a moment. It was impossible to believe that no guy had ever made her come. I hoped she knew that wasn't normal. ”s.e.x doesn't count if he didn't make you come, Nina. You're basically still a virgin.” I bit down on my lip ring in frustration. ”He had s.e.x. You didn't.”
What a d.a.m.n shame that no one had ever pleasured her. It made me angry, but in a twisted way, it invigorated me. I wanted nothing more than to be the first man to ever make her come...with my mouth, with my hands, with my c.o.c.k buried deep inside of her.
You have no idea what I would do to you, Nina, if it were that simple. What I might do to you anyway if you don't get the f.u.c.k out of here soon.
I continued to look at her, imagining all the different ways I would make her come if I could. Her cheeks were flush from this conversation alone, and I wondered what they'd look like if I reached over and kissed her senseless.
My body was experiencing a level of physical need that was completely foreign to me. I'd never wanted to f.u.c.k someone so badly.
I realized I was staring at her nipples again and had to do something. And G.o.d, I needed a cigarette. Trying to quit, I hadn't smoked one in weeks, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Having nowhere to run with a raging hard on was as desperate as it got for me. It was either move from this spot or pull her onto my lap. A change of position was much needed.
I couldn't help but laugh a little when she flinched as I got up from the bed. She had no idea how close I just came to grabbing her face and kissing her, but instead, in a split decision, I practically ran to the window. As I opened it, the frosty air that blew inside the room calmed me down for like a millisecond. Then, I walked over to the drawer, fumbled for a cigarette and lit it, inhaling deeply. The smoke burned my throat as I sucked in again, hoping it would help me control myself.
”Why are you smoking? I thought you quit.”
I shook my head. ”I did. But I really needed one, and I need to keep my distance right now.”
”Why?” she asked.
She wasn't gonna let it go. She knew I'd been trying to quit. If I was smoking all of a sudden, it was obvious that I was losing my s.h.i.+t. I inhaled again and turned to look at her sweet face. Just wanting to open up to her, my heart clenched.
”You really want to know why I'm smoking?”
She nodded. ”Yes.”
”Because it's keeping my mouth occupied and stopping me from doing something I shouldn't right now.” I took another long drag. ”You should probably go back to your room.”
It was the right thing to say, the right thing to do. She needed to leave because I could only stand so much more of this. She had no idea what she'd be getting into with me, and it wouldn't be fair to spring it on her tonight. It was late, and we were both still a little drunk. Not the time to be having that discussion.
”You're smoking and telling me to leave because you want to kiss me?”
I couldn't help but laugh. As if I only wanted to ”kiss” her. Yeah, that would be a start, but there was no end to the list of things I would to do to her, with her, show her for the first time. I dreamt of what that would be like so often while lying in my bed at night. Just kissing would never be an option with how I was feeling about this girl.
I inhaled deeply again and looked over at her. This time, her chest was heaving in antic.i.p.ation of my saying something, doing something. She even looked a little scared.
f.u.c.k it. Nina, you want the truth? I can't give you what I want to, but I can give you the truth.
”I wouldn't tell you to leave if I only wanted to kiss you, Nina. I'm telling you to leave because I want to taste you and make you come until you scream in every possible way imaginable. It was all I could think about all night long. It's why I couldn't sleep. But now that you just told me no man has ever done that...f.u.c.k. That's why I am smoking if you really want to know.”
My heart raced.
What the f.u.c.k did I just say?
Her face turned bright red as she just stood there. As shocked as I was at myself for blurting it out, it felt like a tremendous weight had been lifted. I'd been dying to tell her for so long how much I wanted her. Absorbing my words, she stayed frozen at the edge of the bed. I put out my cigarette and stayed staring out the window to keep my distance.
I cleared my throat and repeated, ”I really think you should go back to your room.”
When it started to feel like Antarctica, I closed the window. Without the distraction of the cigarette, I had no choice but to turn to her and noticed her nipples were harder than before. I could now make out almost exactly what her b.r.e.a.s.t.s looked like naked. My eyes were glued, and I licked my lips, desperately wanting to taste them through the thin fabric of her s.h.i.+rt.
I didn't dare move when her gaze lowered to my crotch. Any doubt that remained about my need for her was now obsolete because I was fully erect. My breathing quickened as her eyes continued to stare down at me.